spookie Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 how closely their actions follow their words. I think this is the most important bit. If he said, "I'll call you tomorrow," I'd expect a call then, and if it came the following day, that's 1 day late in my book. If he said, "Let's go out again next Sunday," then I'd expect a call closer to Sunday confirming plans; not necessarily anything in between. If he didn't say anything... I'd give it 3-4 days before writing him off. But I woudln't think that a call 6 hours later meant he was more interested than if it took him 72 hours to call. We all have our lives and they shouldn't revolve around someone we just met.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted August 1, 2010 Author Posted August 1, 2010 I agree our lives shouldn't revolve around people we just met, I do think its weird though, when you get a text from someone, respond, and then 6 hours later have heard nothing back. Very odd to me. Maybe I expect some common courtesy.
Gallaxia Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I agree our lives shouldn't revolve around people we just met, I do think its weird though, when you get a text from someone, respond, and then 6 hours later have heard nothing back. Very odd to me. Maybe I expect some common courtesy. I'd find it odd too. I thought the whole point of a text messaging system (in general) was for parties to communicate w/ each other not necessarily immediately but fairly quickly "in real time". Great lengths like that, and it might as well have been an email or whatever! But you know, maybe he had to work, or was busy running errands. The wknd is coming to a close.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I agree our lives shouldn't revolve around people we just met, I do think its weird though, when you get a text from someone, respond, and then 6 hours later have heard nothing back. Very odd to me. Maybe I expect some common courtesy. I am in a pretty much similar predicament. I mean should I even accept texts that are 12+ hours late? It feels really disrespectful. I am still not sure if that offense is enough to cut all ties in the early stages.
lso802 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 For me, I feel that if I respond to text immediately, the person will expect that quick of a response every time. It sets a pattern. I'll respond to an emergency text asap. Other than that, I don't. It's not really about being respectful. I'll say "thank you," hold the door open for a lady, help the elderly, etc..., but responding to texts right away isn't in my "proper manners" manual.
Gallaxia Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I agree. It doesn't have to be right away and you can still set the pattern of response to allow breathing room, but twelve hours? For a text, that seems a bit off to me. It could be just me though.
meerkat stew Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Be careful, there's a significant chance this guy is involved already.
lso802 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 No. I don't think it's just you. People are just different. People always complain about me constantly having my phone off, but that is what works for me. When I first started using cell phones, the calls, texts, IMs, etc... drove me crazy. Now people know it's best to get me face-to-face than on the phone or online. For OP's guy, it might just be a matter of him having low priority for her or he's just not a phone dude. I definitely know for me, I would rather see a girl face-to-face and not begin phone, texting, online relationship unless it was really necessary like in an LDR. If I were to call or text a girl, it would be because I want to cut things short and don't want to invest my time in person.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Another confusing thing: e-mails. I think it is generally more "normal" for e-mails to be responded to later. However, consider that you know a person has a blackberry that is always on. So they pretty much get e-mails like they get texts. Shouldn't they then respond to e-mails like they would with texts?
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I agree. It doesn't have to be right away and you can still set the pattern of response to allow breathing room, but twelve hours? For a text, that seems a bit off to me. It could be just me though. I would only wait 12 hours to respond if I am blowing someone off or I am pissed off at someone
zengirl Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Maybe I just think texting is unhealthy, but. . . I agree our lives shouldn't revolve around people we just met, I do think its weird though, when you get a text from someone, respond, and then 6 hours later have heard nothing back. Very odd to me. Maybe I expect some common courtesy. Some of my best friends have to wait longer than 6 hours for a text from me. Actually, I currently work a 10 hour day, teaching a camp, now that vacation is over. I refuse to check my phone during most of the day (I might check it during work) and even when I do check, I don't return anything not pressing (i.e. not needing an immediate response, not about plans that night, etc) until after I get off work. The way texting is better is that I can glance at it in case something is pressing, but I don't treat everything like it needs to be answered immediately. So, I just don't like the "real time" thing. My point is: Common courtesy varies. Especially with texting.
purgatori Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 ... is exactly what 'infatuation' is designed to do. Who knows how many relationships would actually get off the ground if people were thinking clearly at the outset.
Kamille Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Another question - how long after the first date is it appropriate to wait for a guy to contact you before you write him off? Funny, I just realized that back when I was dating, I never really wrote a guy off. I think it has a lot to do with how I managed expectations. Even when I really really liked a guy, I didn't have expectations that he would stay in touch until he proved he would stay in touch. When I went out with a guy that I really liked, I mostly focused on the fact that I went out with a guy and had a great time. As in, not matter what happens next, hey, at least I had a great time last night! When dating, I consider that my job is to enjoy what a man has to offer - while making my boundaries clear. His job is to show me that he is serious about getting to know me.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Funny, I just realized that back when I was dating, I never really wrote a guy off. I think it has a lot to do with how I managed expectations. Even when I really really liked a guy, I didn't have expectations that he would stay in touch until he proved he would stay in touch. When I went out with a guy that I really liked, I mostly focused on the fact that I went out with a guy and had a great time. As in, not matter what happens next, hey, at least I had a great time last night! When dating, I consider that my job is to enjoy what a man has to offer - while making my boundaries clear. His job is to show me that he is serious about getting to know me. Kamille, that's a great attitude. After a good date, I always tend to think OMG I really like him, I bet he is not into me, I bet he will never call, noone that I like ever likes me back (you get the picture ). I never even stop and say to myself "hey, I am happy that I had a great time last night".
Gallaxia Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Maybe I just think texting is unhealthy, but. . . Some of my best friends have to wait longer than 6 hours for a text from me. Actually, I currently work a 10 hour day, teaching a camp, now that vacation is over. I refuse to check my phone during most of the day (I might check it during work) and even when I do check, I don't return anything not pressing (i.e. not needing an immediate response, not about plans that night, etc) until after I get off work. The way texting is better is that I can glance at it in case something is pressing, but I don't treat everything like it needs to be answered immediately. So, I just don't like the "real time" thing. My point is: Common courtesy varies. Especially with texting. I agree with you texting , to me, is unhealthy. I find it to be another way for us to disconnect from direct social interaction or "avoid" some things. Technology is def making us regress. But I also think that if something were pressing, I'd expect a phone call, not a text. And with OP's situation, not hearing anything yet from the guy makes me wonder what's up.
zengirl Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I agree with you texting , to me, is unhealthy. I find it to be another way for us to disconnect from direct social interaction or "avoid" some things. Technology is def making us regress. But I also think that if something were pressing, I'd expect a phone call, not a text. And with OP's situation, not hearing anything yet from the guy makes me wonder what's up. Oh, yeah. . . I'm in agreement there. There was also a broader discussion where SaC was asking questions. Perhaps I got the two discussions confused. If something is pressing, I get it via text, because I can check that in class if I really need to. I also tell them to double-text me if I'm not expecting it, and it's urgent, as that will sound off a specific alert, which I'll check ASAP. But I tell people how to contact me with something pressing (That's really the key; people I don't know shouldn't be contacting me with anything pressing! ).
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Well no worries here because it's been over 24 hours and I've heard nothing. So I assume by this point he's not interested. It's the second time I've responded to his texts and heard nothing in return. So I'm done.
Kamille Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Well no worries here because it's been over 24 hours and I've heard nothing. So I assume by this point he's not interested. It's the second time I've responded to his texts and heard nothing in return. So I'm done. Attempt to make you laugh: Cue music: tah tah tah, another one bites the dust.
Author Loquacious Miss L. Posted August 2, 2010 Author Posted August 2, 2010 Hahaha:) Thanks. *hi five*. You said it sister.
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