Girls, is a kiss important?

[counterman]

Say, if you go on a date with a guy and he kisses you by the end of it... do you take it that he's really interested? Especially for a first date.

 

What would you think if a guy kisses you at the end of the first date but doesn't ask you out for a second date?

 

Reason I am asking is that if I kiss a girl, I don't want her to think that I am committing to anything... I want to see if I feel anything from it, if there's enough to feel.

 

I'm thinking about going on a date with a few girls, and if I kiss them and only continue to go out with one of them, what would the others think?

 

OR, should i just not care what they think and do whatever I want?

[SassyKitten]

If you're not sure if you want to see them again, then a kiss on the cheek, sure, go for it. But if a guy kisses me on the lips and then doesn't ask me out on a second date, I feel used. Or I figure he dumped me because I'm a bad kisser.

 

When it comes to physical acts with women, we are not "try before you buy"!!

[counterman]

Yeah... I think you're right. I think if I am not feeling THAT into a girl but the date went okay, I would give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug. Kiss on the lips should be only for those girls I'm really into.

 

How about this then... if I ask a girl out on a date, I go on that date with her... kiss her cheek but decide that there will be no second date? How should I say that it to her?

 

With a lot of the girls here, the dating process is just a formality before getting into a relationship. How do I explain that a date doesn't mean I want to jump into a relationship but rather I just want to get to know her and see if I'm that into her?

[SassyKitten]

Is your intention to get into a serious relationship? One mistake so many men have made with me in the dating process is not being clear about the kind of relationship they want.

 

Basically, you want to avoid giving women the green light for anything you don't want to give. Also, women are more likely to get emotionally attached from physical acts, that's just how we're wired.

 

So at the beginning, I would treat the woman like you would a platonic friend, possibly even going so far as to say you prefer being friends first. That way, if you're not compatible, emphasis on the word compatible, there are no hard feelings.

 

Also, one very common mistake guys make is planting seeds in womens' heads. For example, my last boyfriend asked me how I felt about having kids, and about moving in with him. Then a week later, he said he only wants to treat this as casual for now, and this offended me badly. I asked him why would he ask me those questions if he only wanted casual, and he said that he wanted to suss out how the relationship was likely to go. Still, the seeds were planted in my head, I was emotionally attached, and words can't describe how much that hurt. Needless to say, the breakup came soon after.

 

Point is, dating should be treated like you're friends with the woman while you both are sussing out whether you're compatible with each other. That said, I wouldn't kiss her untill you're entirely sure you're compatible in every other way. As for things like kids, you have to be sneaky, mention children in conversation in a context like you're talking about other peoples' kids and see how she reacts.

 

And if you do tell a woman you don't want another date, give a reason why you don't think you're compatible, and wish her well. Don't just say "This doesn't feel right", "My ex and I decided to get back together", etc.

[dcdatingdiva]

For me, a kiss on the lips means he had a great time and he really liked me and was totally interested in seeing me again... I think you're right on the mark when you say that a kiss on the lips should only be a girl you're really in to.

 

That being said, it's a pretty direct sign if you give a girl a hug and tell her you had a good time. Just leave it at that, don't tell her you'll call if you don't plan on it and the girl will pretty much get the hint- it's not that hard to tell. I think a lot of girls also use dating as a way to get to know guys and see from there if they want a future- it's not just guys who do this. Don't be so worried about hurting our feelings- we're tough! We can handle rejection, too!!

Good luck

 

xx, Dee

[SassyKitten]

I should add that the sooner you tell her you don't want another date, the better. Preferably while you're still on the date or immediately after you parted ways, a simple text will do the job as well as anything. It gives her less time to daydream about you if she feels something you don't.

[K'aycie]

Say, if you go on a date with a guy and he kisses you by the end of it... do you take it that he's really interested? Especially for a first date.

 

What would you think if a guy kisses you at the end of the first date but doesn't ask you out for a second date?

 

Reason I am asking is that if I kiss a girl, I don't want her to think that I am committing to anything... I want to see if I feel anything from it, if there's enough to feel.

 

I'm thinking about going on a date with a few girls, and if I kiss them and only continue to go out with one of them, what would the others think?

 

OR, should i just not care what they think and do whatever I want?

 

If it was after one date, I wouldn't put too much stock in the outcome, either way.

[counterman]

Is your intention to get into a serious relationship? One mistake so many men have made with me in the dating process is not being clear about the kind of relationship they want.

 

Basically, you want to avoid giving women the green light for anything you don't want to give. Also, women are more likely to get emotionally attached from physical acts, that's just how we're wired.

 

So at the beginning, I would treat the woman like you would a platonic friend, possibly even going so far as to say you prefer being friends first. That way, if you're not compatible, emphasis on the word compatible, there are no hard feelings.

 

Also, one very common mistake guys make is planting seeds in womens' heads. For example, my last boyfriend asked me how I felt about having kids, and about moving in with him. Then a week later, he said he only wants to treat this as casual for now, and this offended me badly. I asked him why would he ask me those questions if he only wanted casual, and he said that he wanted to suss out how the relationship was likely to go. Still, the seeds were planted in my head, I was emotionally attached, and words can't describe how much that hurt. Needless to say, the breakup came soon after.

 

Point is, dating should be treated like you're friends with the woman while you both are sussing out whether you're compatible with each other. That said, I wouldn't kiss her untill you're entirely sure you're compatible in every other way. As for things like kids, you have to be sneaky, mention children in conversation in a context like you're talking about other peoples' kids and see how she reacts.

 

And if you do tell a woman you don't want another date, give a reason why you don't think you're compatible, and wish her well. Don't just say "This doesn't feel right", "My ex and I decided to get back together", etc.

 

That's the thing... I'm not sure if I want a relationship or not. It depends on the girl. First and foremost, I just want to have a good time if I'm on a date. Feeling that spark is what gets me going to ask the girl out again. I might be interested and ask her out on a first date just to suss things out and see what it's like but if I'm not feeling it, then I wouldn't ask her out again. So, yes, I just want to be clear with my intentions.

 

A reason I would be thinking of is "I don't feel any chemistry" - something along the lines of that... Is that okay?

 

For me, a kiss on the lips means he had a great time and he really liked me and was totally interested in seeing me again... I think you're right on the mark when you say that a kiss on the lips should only be a girl you're really in to.

 

That being said, it's a pretty direct sign if you give a girl a hug and tell her you had a good time. Just leave it at that, don't tell her you'll call if you don't plan on it and the girl will pretty much get the hint- it's not that hard to tell. I think a lot of girls also use dating as a way to get to know guys and see from there if they want a future- it's not just guys who do this. Don't be so worried about hurting our feelings- we're tough! We can handle rejection, too!!

Good luck

 

xx, Dee

 

Yes, I think it's clear too if I don't call or ask them out on a second date. However, I have had girls that were interested in me, became my friend and then totally disappeared. I never gave them any signs of interest but they still hung around. When it was clear that I was never going to be interested, they totally shut me out. My intentions were purely to be friends and I acted accordingly. That's why if I show interest to these girls, I don't want them to think too far ahead and maybe even disappear if things don't go down that way. I would want them to know that I had a good time but not intend it to be a sign that I'm still interested in dating.

 

I should add that the sooner you tell her you don't want another date, the better. Preferably while you're still on the date or immediately after you parted ways, a simple text will do the job as well as anything. It gives her less time to daydream about you if she feels something you don't.

 

Yeah, I don't want her to think that I'm still interested in dating if I'm not. What's a reason that says that I don't feel that spark?

 

What if she asks me to meet up again or even on a date? I think I'll be straight from the start.

 

If it was after one date' date=' I wouldn't put too much stock in the outcome, either way.[/quote']

 

That's what I would hope for but I heard stories where girls often wonder why a guy doesn't call at all after a date when things seem to go really well and there is kissing, even making out.

 

Should I care about this or just play it by the ear?

[SassyKitten]

A reason I would be thinking of is "I don't feel any chemistry" - something along the lines of that... Is that okay?

 

Possibly, though I would try to think of another reason first, like you wanted someone who shares one of your interests more, or that you feel like you want different things out of the relationship. Otherwise, a line like "You're awesome, but I don't feel like the chemistry is there enough for us to be anything but friends." or "I don't feel like we're on the same wavelength enough to be anything but friends." should do the trick. Plus one thing to keep in mind is that nerves on either end can distort chemistry.

[K'aycie]

That's what I would hope for but I heard stories where girls often wonder why a guy doesn't call at all after a date when things seem to go really well and there is kissing, even making out.

 

Should I care about this or just play it by the ear?

 

Yeah but that all depends on how the date went, how much you liked each other, etc.

 

What if you kissed eachother on a first date, and for whatever reason, she didn't feel anything after kissing you? You don't ask her out again for a second date because you didn't feel anything either.

 

A different scenario would be where the two of you spent hours together on your first date, lots of affectionate, kissing, etc. Then perhaps that's where it could get dicey.

[counterman]

Possibly, though I would try to think of another reason first, like you wanted someone who shares one of your interests more, or that you feel like you want different things out of the relationship. Otherwise, a line like "You're awesome, but I don't feel like the chemistry is there enough for us to be anything but friends." or "I don't feel like we're on the same wavelength enough to be anything but friends." should do the trick. Plus one thing to keep in mind is that nerves on either end can distort chemistry.

 

Thanks, I think that would work too. It would be something I would like to hear if I were in that situation.

 

I think with a couple of these girls, nerves might play a big part because this would be there were time dating ever. I really don't want it to be an experience where they become bitter if things don't work out.

 

The one girl who has left me thinking about her for a while was one I've only met on introduction. She had an unusual name and I tried to pronounce it and spell it. Of course I got it wrong but she said "you can call me that if you want=)".

 

I don't want someone who's too conservative and afraid to flirt. I'm considering asking these girls out because I felt something for them, something that wasn't there earlier. I don't know whether to continue to be friends or ask them out... All i know is they aren't gonna be interested forever.

 

Should I only date the girls i feel that crazy initial spark with? That just seems so rare though.

[counterman]

Yeah but that all depends on how the date went, how much you liked each other, etc.

 

What if you kissed eachother on a first date, and for whatever reason, she didn't feel anything after kissing you? You don't ask her out again for a second date because you didn't feel anything either.

 

A different scenario would be where the two of you spent hours together on your first date, lots of affectionate, kissing, etc. Then perhaps that's where it could get dicey.

 

True, i might not feel anything and she might not. I think why I am putting so much emphasis on this because they have had no prior experience to this. So, it might be their first kiss ever. I don't know if it matters or not...

[K'aycie]

True, i might not feel anything and she might not. I think why I am putting so much emphasis on this because they have had no prior experience to this. So, it might be their first kiss ever. I don't know if it matters or not...

 

Oh.

 

Hmm, that's a tough call.

[SassyKitten]

Thanks, I think that would work too. It would be something I would like to hear if I were in that situation.

 

I think with a couple of these girls, nerves might play a big part because this would be there were time dating ever. I really don't want it to be an experience where they become bitter if things don't work out.

 

The one girl who has left me thinking about her for a while was one I've only met on introduction. She had an unusual name and I tried to pronounce it and spell it. Of course I got it wrong but she said "you can call me that if you want=)".

 

I don't want someone who's too conservative and afraid to flirt. I'm considering asking these girls out because I felt something for them, something that wasn't there earlier. I don't know whether to continue to be friends or ask them out... All i know is they aren't gonna be interested forever.

 

Should I only date the girls i feel that crazy initial spark with? That just seems so rare though.

 

1 rule I always, always, always live by when I date is treat others as you wish to be treated. That's why I will never be the woman who waits around passively for the man to call.

 

It is rare to feel that initial spark, it's all nerves, so I would take a more cerebral approach and suss out if the compatibility is there. Then if you don't feel the spark after 3 dates, so your heart doesn't agree with your head, then maybe it's time to move on.

[somedude81]

What does a girl think when she knows the guy wants to kiss her, but is too afraid to try. What if he does the unthinkable and actually tells her he wants to kiss her?

[counterman]

Oh.

 

Hmm, that's a tough call.

 

It is, so I think I wouldn't go through with it unless i was really into the girl.

 

1 rule I always, always, always live by when I date is treat others as you wish to be treated. That's why I will never be the woman who waits around passively for the man to call.

 

It is rare to feel that initial spark, it's all nerves, so I would take a more cerebral approach and suss out if the compatibility is there. Then if you don't feel the spark after 3 dates, so your heart doesn't agree with your head, then maybe it's time to move on.

 

That's a good rule and general advice. Throw it in the mix that I'm interested in a few girls... I don't know how to choose or what to do first.

[alexlakeman]

At least on the lips on the first date, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way..