BS76 Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Anyone else have a de facto harem these days? It all sorta happened at once for me, but now that I've got things established and they're cool knowing I'm seeing other women I'm finding it hard to have "me time", which is somethign I didn't expect. Any tips for time management? Also, how do you track what you talk about with each woman? I actually find it kind of funny that I've got so much going on that I sometimes get them mixed up, but I never let on. If I'm not sure about something and it's possible it had something to do with one of the other women then I don't bring it up. Anyway, one friend showed me an app he has on his iPhone for keeping notes on each girl he dates, but I don't really think that's all that necessary. Just looking for tips & tricks for dating multiple women at once. If I'd been dating them all for a while and added them one at a time over a period of time I don't think it'd be a problem, but we're talkin about 4 women inside of 2 weeks.
alexlakeman Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I keep my data on my phone bk in my blackberry in the notes section 4 each contact. Just don't share too much info & u'll b able to keep track of it. Don't introduce them to ur freinds or not too many freinds. Last time I did that they swapped numbers (a female freind & d girl I was dating) and it was not a good idea. Lock ur phone automatically with password. Last time I got busted I had left d cell phone unlocked. Make automatically lock after a few mins when u plan on spending d night with them etc. B careful how many of them u give ur hm address to. After a while they think they can just show up without calling; that's just their way of snooping. Don't give them ur house keys; ONLY if one of them lives with you. You can put their ring tones on silent when ur with the others and if need b change their names in ur contact list to a guy's name for example. So when u get d call at 2 am and ur with one of the other ones u can just say it was one of ur bros. This ties in with not letting them mEet ur freinds. Good luck and enjoy
Author BS76 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 I keep my data on my phone bk in my blackberry in the notes section 4 each contact. Just don't share too much info & u'll b able to keep track of it. Don't introduce them to ur freinds or not too many freinds. Last time I did that they swapped numbers (a female freind & d girl I was dating) and it was not a good idea. Lock ur phone automatically with password. Last time I got busted I had left d cell phone unlocked. Make automatically lock after a few mins when u plan on spending d night with them etc. B careful how many of them u give ur hm address to. After a while they think they can just show up without calling; that's just their way of snooping. Don't give them ur house keys; ONLY if one of them lives with you. You can put their ring tones on silent when ur with the others and if need b change their names in ur contact list to a guy's name for example. So when u get d call at 2 am and ur with one of the other ones u can just say it was one of ur bros. This ties in with not letting them mEet ur freinds. Good luck and enjoy Way ahead of you. The phone auto-locks and none know where I live. And I already know the power of plausible deniability. If by some chance one of them sees another woman texted/called me, the automatic response is "She's just a friend". It's one thing for them to know I date other women, but it's another thing when it becomes "real" to them by learning about the others. So long as it's not in their face, no matter how much they might beg and plead to learn about the others, just don't go there. It's like finding out how many partners they *really* had vs what they tell you. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. This is one such example.
cleverpartner Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I usually do not recommend a guy date more than 3 women at a time (whether sexual or not). It will definitely eat into your "Me" time and if you are not versed with 2 women constantly, it can be a chore to keep track of everything going on. First things first, always act "Busy". Second, Write down ALL names and Never call her by her name, she'll get used to it. Say "Hey, whats up" or distract them when they say hello by giving a compliment. Third, do NOT spend more than 15 minutes to 30 mins on the phone with any of them, let them know a friend is calling or some other activity you have to get done. This way, they don't get used to getting you free all the time. What is your goal here? are you trying to start an eventual relationship or just "Date" them? Hope that helps.
linwood Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 You`ve got to dump a couple of them. That situation will drive you mad eventually. Seriously.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 After my last relationship ended, there was a period of a month or so where I was dating three guys at once. I will never do it again. Way, way too much work!
USMCHokie Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Multi-dated for the first time a couple months ago...just like you, it sort of happened...a combination of meeting people while out on the town as well as online dating...it was fun, but I would never do it again...
Author BS76 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Third, do NOT spend more than 15 minutes to 30 mins on the phone with any of them, let them know a friend is calling or some other activity you have to get done. This way, they don't get used to getting you free all the time. LOL, that's not a problem. Nobody calls these days, it's all texting to set up logistics and then face to face time. I haven't had to call with any of them yet. Actually, I take that back. One of them I did because I couldn't find parking and was running late, but when she couldn't hear me because the band was so loud I just ended up texting her anyway.
SilkRose Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Also, how do you track what you talk about with each woman? I actually find it kind of funny that I've got so much going on that I sometimes get them mixed up, but I never let on. If I'm not sure about something and it's possible it had something to do with one of the other women then I don't bring it up. If you can't keep track/remember your conversations with different women then doesn't that mean that you have no interest in what any of them are saying?
zengirl Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 If you can't keep track/remember your conversations with different women then doesn't that mean that you have no interest in what any of them are saying? Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. And also that the girls must be pretty stupid if they can't notice that he can't keep track of who they are.
bac Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 IMO a guy should not take it too seriously because it may last about 4-5 intercouses as the best outcome. No approach can make it last any longer unless a guy finds a rare girl who just wants to use a male as a sex object. It is going to be very short-term because girls will pick up that a man is impersonal and superficial. For girls, the worst thing for having sex is impersonal approach. It is not because they are so self-absorbed or need your attachment badly. It is because sex without personal dynamics is terribly boring for girls. To understand that, imagine yourself watching the same porno tape many many many times. It does not matter how hot the tape is. In a while you are not going to get hard on it and it is going to be a strong turn off. For girls, sex is 50% about emotional dynamics and that triggers their sex drive. There is nothing more boring for a girl than doing the same things such as 'in and out' and then the same 'oral stuff ' again and again with the same guy with no personal connection. The most desperate girls can handle the boring routine about 4-5 times and than they feel like vomiting about the sex. They have sex several times just because they give a guy a benefit of doubt that he might improve.
Author BS76 Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 (edited) If you can't keep track/remember your conversations with different women then doesn't that mean that you have no interest in what any of them are saying? No, just that I can't remember some stuff that comes up in conversations from time to time. For example, one of them mentioned I have really soft hair. Was that Friday or Saturday? I have no idea since I messed around with two of them both nights and either one could have said it. It's worst when I have back to back dates night after night. They sorta blend together, which is amplifed a ton when drinking. IMO a guy should not take it too seriously because it may last about 4-5 intercouses as the best outcome. No approach can make it last any longer unless a guy finds a rare girl who just wants to use a male as a sex object. It is going to be very short-term because girls will pick up that a man is impersonal and superficial. For girls, the worst thing for having sex is impersonal approach. It is not because they are so self-absorbed or need your attachment badly. It is because sex without personal dynamics is terribly boring for girls. To understand that, imagine yourself watching the same porno tape many many many times. It does not matter how hot the tape is. In a while you are not going to get hard on it and it is going to be a strong turn off. For girls, sex is 50% about emotional dynamics and that triggers their sex drive. There is nothing more boring for a girl than doing the same things such as 'in and out' and then the same 'oral stuff ' again and again with the same guy with no personal connection. The most desperate girls can handle the boring routine about 4-5 times and than they feel like vomiting about the sex. They have sex several times just because they give a guy a benefit of doubt that he might improve. That's a very romanticized view of female sexuality and I can tell you that it's not true for a lot of women, most women in fact. Women are often just as sexual as men, more so actually. I strongly suggest you read the book My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. It'll blow your mind how down right dirty freaky sexy women can get. Edited July 30, 2010 by BS76
bac Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 (edited) That's a very romanticized view of female sexuality and I can tell you that it's not true for a lot of women, most women in fact. Women are often just as sexual as men, more so actually. I strongly suggest you read the book My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. It'll blow your mind how down right dirty freaky sexy women can get. I appreciate your advice. I will read that book even I know how freaky sexy women can get from my own real life experience. Edited July 31, 2010 by bac
sally4sara Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 It get exhausting past 2 or 3; I don't recommend it for a long term period. Use it mostly to find quality. Say you're talking with four and one has something about them you know will become - boring, irritating, whatever. You drop that one because what is the point when you know it will never become anything you could be happy with? Screwing folks just to boost yourself over how MANY you can be with at once is kinda pathetic when beyond the sex, there is no click. It comes off like the numbers are your worth and what if many becomes none or one? There goes your self worth. Plus, for every person, the chance for drama goes up. I don't know about you folks but no thanks.
hopesndreams Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 It'll blow your mind how down right dirty freaky sexy women can get. Do you pay them?
xpaperxcutx Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 BS, I call your BS. You're definitely taking a risk by doing back -to- back dates. They're physically draining if you're drinking on both days. At least do dates every other day to give yourself time to sober up.
Sphere Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 If I'm single and interested in casually dating then I'll see two girls. One will rank significantly higher than the other, but is important that a man dates more than one woman, so he doesn't get too invested early on. If one flakes on me, I'll always have another girl on the cards.
lso802 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I can date at most 3 girls in one day. No more than that. I'll usually leave the girl I've seen more often for last so I don't have any time restraints with her. If I were dating, yeah, I'd date multiple girls again so I don't get hung up on one girl and can walk at any time. Oh and I do 3 girls in one day, because I only set out one day out of the week for dating. I don't want dating to consume my entire week. The rest of the days are for family, friends, my dogs, studying, working, etc.... I didn't feel like it was a lot of work at all and could remember the conversations. They were all pretty different from each other. One was into poker and bullfights. Our first date was at Hooter's. Her pick. The other was into martial arts and anime. She always wanted to do outdoorsy sporty type stuff. The last was into science, museums and checking out local venues. The conversation topics were very different. I can still remember them all.
Author BS76 Posted August 6, 2010 Author Posted August 6, 2010 This looks interesting: http://www.medlmobile.com/index.php?page=viewapp&appId=35
dispatch3d Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 pretty hilarious. Man if you ever get caught using that the girls are going to be so pissed hahaha.
bobdole Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I was dating two for a few weeks, but "fired" them both as one of my friends put it heh. Just wasn't going to work out. I've got four on the line now, but really hope to weed atleast half out after first dates - 3 more to go. The first of those four we really have some sparks. Ended up talking in the restaurant for 4+ hours until they closed and kicked us out. This is my first experience dating multiple women and I'm not quite sure what to do. The other 3 all seem like great women and my type and who knows I may hit it off even better with one of them. My thinking is I guess atleast give them a first date before concentrating everything on date #1 girl I liked alot. That sound right?
meerkat stew Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Men have no control over which of their advances are accepted, so there seem to be "clumps" of too many sometimes and absences of anyone other times for men who make a good number of approaches. I can date three at a time without annoyance or making mistakes about which one said what. The secret is in keeping hydrated, rested and not drinking much alcohol. Also, keep the dates relatively short as opposed to marathon all day and night dates. 3-4 hours seems to work when dating several at one time. Having options is the best protection a man can have against female shenanigans and bad behavior. Ironically, they sense that you have options and so don't start acting up in the first place. Happier for everyone.
lso802 Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I completely agree with you, meerkat. This is my first experience dating multiple women and I'm not quite sure what to do. The other 3 all seem like great women and my type and who knows I may hit it off even better with one of them. My thinking is I guess atleast give them a first date before concentrating everything on date #1 girl I liked alot. That sound right? Yep. You don't know #1 well enough yet anyway. You might like one of the girls more as you spend some time with them, and you won't be putting up with any bad behavior from #1 as meerkat mentioned.
Author BS76 Posted August 7, 2010 Author Posted August 7, 2010 Having options is the best protection a man can have against female shenanigans and bad behavior. Ironically, they sense that you have options and so don't start acting up in the first place. Happier for everyone. Amen to that!
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