Soul Bear Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Two amazing women have unexpectedly entered my life and I don't know what to do... It was not planned, nor expected. I got over my LDR, and then this happens when I least expected it... Girl one I last spoke to 7 years ago until recently when she found me on fb, spent a lot of time together over the last 3 weeks and likes me for me, which is a welcome change! We get on so well, and have a good connection and chemistry.She says she wants to take things further... Girl 2 we met randomly two and a half years ago, at a christmas fair. We were both in LT relationships at that point but stayed in touch just as friends, be it sporadically via email, for 2.5 years until recently when she also found me on fb and said she wanted to take things further. We also get on really well, likes me for me and have a good connection and chemistry etc etc I wonder why life is making me choose between two amazing people. I am picky so I rarely meet someone whom I connect with on this level, let alone 2 people who both are totally amazing in their own ways ....How do you even do that? Feeling a little lost here...
tigressA Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 This is a problem that many people say they would love to have...but once they have it, they end up wishing they didn't. Since they're both amazing in their own ways, maybe it would help in your decision if you looked at their flaws. Everyone has some. Are there any possible dealbreakers there? Things that you feel you could handle better than others? Or are you even looking to make a decision between the two of them at the moment?
Author Soul Bear Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 Hey Tigress, long time... That's the thing, the negatives I don't care about. I guess the positives far outweigh the negatives for both. That's why this is so confusing! I don't have to make a decision...I could just, walk away?! But something tells me that would be silly.... But at the same time I feel like I'm not being true to myself or them, by me 'picking' This blows :/
tigressA Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Hey Tigress, long time... That's the thing, the negatives I don't care about. I guess the positives far outweigh the negatives for both. That's why this is so confusing! I don't have to make a decision...I could just, walk away?! But something tells me that would be silly.... But at the same time I feel like I'm not being true to myself or them, by me 'picking' This blows :/ You have a major-league dilemma here then, SB. It seems that asking you if your chemistry, etc with these girls is about equal would be pointless, because if it wasn't then you wouldn't have such a hard time now. What about availability/distance? What exactly are you looking for, and are both of them looking for the same thing, or is it all vague? What about goals? Do you know if you share a more compatible life path with one over the other?
carhill Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 So how many dates have you gone out on with each? You do understand that they are dating other men, regardless of what they tell you, right? I would date both (no sex) and look for a progressive and positive flow. Time reveals all truths. Good luck
bac Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 is it possible to give it a try to date both of them without letting them know about each other? Then, go with flow and see who is your best choice. You might want to have sex with both of them to check out who is better.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 Feast or famine. Life's biotch, then you die. Btw, I wouldn't mind consoling your cast off.
K'aycie Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 I disagree with Bac's advise. I think if someone is dating two people at the same time, especially if they're thinking about becoming physically intimate, you should be forthcoming about that. As for who you choose, well, I guess go with your heart.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 OMG Soul_B, how have you been? Haven't seen you online in a while? I think these two girls' appearances in your life is life's way of telling you that "hey, love is just around the corner..." Just go with the flow. Overthinking ruins alot of things. I should know.
Author Soul Bear Posted July 28, 2010 Author Posted July 28, 2010 (edited) I have come to the conclusion that I don't choose. Things will work themselves out and whoever it's meant to be will, if either, make itself apparent in due course. But oh boy, what head complete head ****!! I agree with all your comments, except Bac's as I'm afraid that's just not me, however you did make me laugh! Carhill, my old friend Sure, they could be dating other men, and that's fine as I am dating 2 people, but I somehow doubt that by their behaviour towards me. It's great to feel so wanted but damn this is a tough call. As you say, time reveals all truths! Paper- I know! It's been forever. I decided I was not going to use this place anymore due to some crap in my life and some hard lessons I had to learn. But I'm over that now so it's all good. I agree with what you say about overthinking, and I guess that ties in with Carhill's statement of giving things time to reveal themselves. There is a lot more info I could divulge here on this matter, but it's not appropriate at current. SO I will see how things go and keep you posted. It's amazing that when you get over someone and start to be yourself again, that someone even better walks into your life. I have learned so much in the last 2 relationships I have been in not only about myself, but also what i need from a partner. It's been so great. I wish you all much pain in your life ...after all, that's what gives us strength, courage and wisdom! Edited July 28, 2010 by Soul Bear
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