Serenitynow Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Its seems one of the most sought after qualities, of a women in dating, is finding a guy with confidence. Women constantly mention this on forums, in person, online dating, etc. You hear it all the time " I like a guy with confidence" Many many women however, lack confidence in: -approaching a guy for a date -being seen without makeup -not having the right outfit in situations -being seen if her hair isnt right -if her body isnt how she wants etc. . . etc. . YET they insist on their date to be confident I'm not making this into a bashing thread at all... I just happened to think about it today, and it makes me chuckle that one of the most sought after qualities they look for in a man, is the same that they usually lack in themselves But I do understand most of the blame is the society you grow up in ladies. Guys get to sit back in the lazy boy burping and scrathing ourselves, while the women have to bust their ass all their life to stand up to the *crazy* cliched standards out there.
Sabali Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 There are certain qualities that are seen as masculine and very appealing and there are certain qualities as seen as feminine and appealing. I want a woman who is very nurturing. You probably won't catch me being very nurturing. I will take care of any kids I have but probably not in the same manner as a woman.
alphamale Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Its seems one of the most sought after qualities, of a women in dating, is finding a guy with confidence. Women constantly mention this on forums, in person, online dating, etc. You hear it all the time " I like a guy with confidence" people generally look for what they lack in a mate
jamesum Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 people generally look for what they lack in a mate Study shows more masculine men or women with higher testosterone want more feminine men or women with lower testosterone.
zengirl Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 (edited) All people like confidence. I've found that men like confidence way more than insecurity, too. That doesn't mean women expect men to be confident about everything forever. I don't go around jabbering on about how I don't like the way my hair looks when I wake up. I just do what I can to make it look its best as I go about my day. There's a difference between having things that we are less confident about and magnifying them by our actions, rather than accepting them and moving on. When I'm actually dating a guy, I want to get to know his insecurities. But if he brings them up on the first date, it's going to be a much bigger issue. That said, there were cute guys I really liked who were obviously a little bit nervous or whatever on an earlier date; I still liked them. Everyone should have some confidence and be able to focus on the things that make them great. If you haven't figured out how to do that, you shouldn't be dating! That's my view of it. But I don't want some impenetrable, perfect layer of confidence that never comes off. P.S. Re: the discussion above. I think I'm fairly confident, and I am considered very "nurturing" (I mean, I teach Kindergarten right now, and I'm the first people friends call to "take care of them" in emergencies, I cook for people, etc) and I seek other nurturers, maybe in a more manly way (they might not talk about feelings, but they might fix friends' computers or help them move), people who care for others with thoughtfulness and compassion; I don't think we all seek what we lack. Some men are very nurturing, too. And confident! At the same time. Edited July 27, 2010 by zengirl
Enchanted Girl Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 For once, I agree. Most women want a guy who is confident. Most women want a guy who has a great sense of humor as well. I find that these kind of men, regardless of looks or salary or cars are usually the ones that my friends are getting all excited about. I like guys with a great sense of humor as well, but I actually find insecurity to be adorable and hard for me to resist. It's not that I want a guy who's so insecure that he's mentally unstable, but a guy who embarrasses himself and blushes makes me just want to kiss him or something. XD It just brings out the nurturing and loving side of me or something and it let's me know (since I know that I make a fool of myself a lot), that they can relate to me. That they are human. Some of my favorite moments in my relationship with my boyfriend are actually some times when he tried to be suave and romantic and failed miserably and blushed. To me, it was just adorable and perfect anyway.
that girl Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 I think you're misreading a lot of women. I don't think the main reason women don't ask out men in general is insecurity. I think it is way more common for a woman to assume if he didn't make a move he must not be interested. The whole makeup/outfit/hair thing isn't just about confidence, though some insecure women are like this. It also has to do with wanting to put your best foot forward, particularly professionally or with a possible date. And sometimes a woman is just fishing for compliments. It isn't that I think women are more confident than men, but you're making some assumptions here.
hopesndreams Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 I'm a confident woman that wants a confident man.
Art_Critic Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 people generally look for what they lack in a mate You might be right alpha.. I lack boobs and a cooter and those are 2 traits I look for in a mate My wife doesn't lack confidence and neither have most of the women I have dated.. Confidence in a woman was a trait I was attracted to.. I also feel like I have pretty good confidence during those times.. I have dated a couple of women lacking confidence and for the life of me I never understood what they saw in me.. The times in my life I lacked confidence was generally right after a breakup and stopping going out on dates and giving myself time was all I needed to rebound back to myself again.
AD1980 Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 Maybe the most overused vague fluff cliche used word in the dating world..According to people this "confidence" can make most women want you which is bs.. Nobody is confident all the time or insecure all the time most people have a healthy balance.."Confidence" is usually magically attributed to good looking guys and/or guys with status and really has small literal meaning of what the word confidence really means when what really turns on women..
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