I dont understand his mixed signals

[Menafee]

Its kinda long sorry:)

 

I met him about 6 or 7 months ago and for the first 2 months he texted me everyday. We didnt do anthing during those first 2 mon. cause i told him i wasnt ready and he said thats fine he'll wait cause he "cares". After those 2 mon. i was ready and everything was great for the next month, we talked everyday and hungout nearly everyday since we met 3 months before. Then 4 days before my vacation we were drinking at his house with some buddies and i drank way too much so i was sick so i put myself to bed early..ish. Not that long afterwards he came in to cheak on me and i tried to get him to lay with me til i fell back asleep but he said he couldnt cause he had company and thatd be rude, but then he decided he wanted to mess around so i got mad that he would have time for that but not to lay with me and i said he was just using me, which i didnt believe i was just mad. Neways he ended up staying and falling asleep with me cause everyone who wasnt staying had left. The next morning was completely normal and i went home.

 

Then later that day i asked if he was feeling any better than he did that morning and all he said was yeah which was kinda weird, he didnt text me that night like he normally would or at all the next day. I did talk to him the next day before i left for vacation and i said i was going to miss my friends and he said "yeah but your not going to miss me.." so i thought he wanted me to say i was going to miss him or something who knows, so anyways i laughed and said i was maybe going to miss him a little bit just joking around and he laughed but he didnt say he was going to miss me or anything like that.

 

I was gone for a month and he only texted me once during that time and i even texted him 2wice with no reply so i took a hint gave up and had a blast. Almost 2 wks after i got back i was with one of our friends who was talking to him and they asked him if we'd talked since i've been back and he of course said no. Bout 10 mins. later i got a text saying he's sorry he hasnt talked to me he didnt want to lead me on and he doesnt want a relationship right now he just wants to be friends.

We didnt talk for the next 2 months, then he started texting me on Friday nights when he got home from the bar wanting to know what im doing, with who, and if i wanted to hangout. So after the 4th friday i went over there and it was like we never stopped talking. I ended up staying the night there and in the morning i was standing up and getting my stuff to leave and he pulled me back and made me cuddle for another 30 mins. We both had plans for that next day/night but we made plans for me to come over again after we left our things. We didnt end up hanging out that night i got wasted and passed out before he left the bar so i sleeped right thru his calls. I told him i was sorry the next day and said what happened and it was ok.

 

We didnt talk that week til Friday again and i went over there again and hungout with him and a buddie. He was acting like we were together, and his friends used to think we are, and everything was great. Later when his friend left we were laying on the couch and out of no where he said "move in with me" i asked what and he repeated it so i said "ok" and he said "im not joking i love you move in with me" then we started kissing and it didnt come up again..but he was wasted.

 

He ended up going to bed earlier than me i was watching tv and accidently fell asleep on the couch and in the morning he didnt even ask why i didnt come to bed, and neither one of us brought up what he had said the night before i dont even know if he remembers. Neways that was lastnight and i havent heard anything from him tonight and probably wont for another week. I dont understand if he wants to be with me or not hes sending mixed signals and im very confused! I dont understand why he would say he loves me and wants me to move in..i know he was drunk but thats when the truth comes out right?

 

 

And also i dated one of his friends for 2 years, that ended a year ago very badly but i dont think that has anything to do with it..? I didnt meet him while i was with his friend..in fact i only met one of his friends. So its not like i met him thru my ex aka his friend or ever hungout with them together.

Edited July 25, 2010 by Menafee
didnt mean to send yet

[zengirl]

Yeah, I don't know how to make sense of that, except that he likes you but has some issues of his own. Or he likes the idea of you but then changes his mind. I think there are just some people who aren't ready for relationships (at least not the kind I consider real relationships) and that's why there are all these tempestuous, drama-filled things that happen. That's my theory at least. I would be dizzy and couldn't deal with all that. But that's just me.

[Menafee]

I kind of think he just gets scared, i know hes been hurt really bad and he knows i have, by his friend, and both of us are scared of getting hurt again. I would just ask him/ tell him i want a relationship and if its not with him then it'll be with someone else, if he stops talking to me i went 2 months without him before and i made it. But im not sure if im ready to be in a relationship either..im kinda scared of commitment still. But i do know that if i was going to be with anyone i'd want it to be him and i really do want to live with him, i was going to jokingly bring it up cause i know hes looking for a roommate but he brought it up first.

[Fra]

He is just scared of rejection. You will have to ask him if you want to give it a shot. Otherwise... He will get rejected cause he took too long and you got tired of waiting.

[Menafee]

Thats what people keep saying that hes scared of rejection..but i am too and he's the one whose been calling the shots so i guess im just kinda scared he's going to quit talking to me again since he called it off last time. But i guess if he's going to be like that i shouldnt be with him anyways. better to find out now and move on than wait until later to get rejected again