guy.lepage Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I recently started dating a girl and she's awesome. Not sure how long it's going to last but I like her alot. I recently travelled out of town for a funeral and stayed at the hotel. An old friend of mine, who was going to the funeral also, asked whether she could use my shower. I accepted. She showed up with a box of sushi and hopped into the shower. I waited for her before eating the sushi and we ended up sharing the meal in my room while she wore nothing else but a bathrobe. Nothing happened but I still wonder whether I should tell my GF about this?
zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I don't think that's anything wrong, assuming none of that was a euphemism. She was covered, by the robe, and you were friends, sharing a meal. It might be a bit odd, out of context, but I'm sure it made sense in the context. At any rate, I'm not the jealous type, so what do I know?
Jilly Bean Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Nothing happened but I still wonder whether I should tell my GF about this? Not unless you want to open pandora's box and invite a lot of unnecessary drama.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I don't think that's anything wrong, assuming none of that was a euphemism. She was covered, by the robe, and you were friends, sharing a meal. It might be a bit odd, out of context, but I'm sure it made sense in the context. At any rate, I'm not the jealous type, so what do I know? I agree with this statement. Try to downplay the event as well. Don't lie to her about it (because then it seems like you were hiding it from her because there's more to the story) and don't sit down with her and say something like "We need to talk" as if it's super serious (because then she'll think something more happened as well and be expecting you to say something that she's going to freak out over.) Like I said, just talk about the event casually like it's nothing and she'll be more likely to treat it as nothing. She might be a bit jealous though, but I'm sure she'll get over it if you reassure her.
Author guy.lepage Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 Thanks for your replies. If I tell my GF about this, even in passing, she'll probably ask me why my friend didn't go to her own hotel room, which was about 20 minutes away, and I wouldn't have a good answer for her.
alexlakeman Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 You've just started dating haven't you? DO NOT tell her... period... you should've hit on the freind... wow, sushi, hotel room, towel or bath robe ... ummmm Which is hotter the freind or the g/f?
Author guy.lepage Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 You've just started dating haven't you? DO NOT tell her... period... you should've hit on the freind... wow, sushi, hotel room, towel or bath robe ... ummmm Which is hotter the freind or the g/f? Honestly, my friend is quite hot...
D-Lish Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Honestly, my friend is quite hot... So, you DID do something??? I wouldn't say anything, not unless you want to open up a can of drama that will always plague your relationship. Once you admit to something like this- you're screwed, whether you are innocent or not.
SassyKitten Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 If all you did was ate sushi and chatted without touching in a more than friendly way, I wouldn't tell your GF. You might as well have been eating sushi and chatting with a friend wearing a sweater and jeans. If I was your GF, I might have so easily misinterpreted this.
D-Lish Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 If I was the girl(friend) in this sitation, if a guy told me this story, I'd drop him like a hot potato. I'd believe: a) He did something and he's lying; or: b) He's telling me to inspire jealousy or insecurity. Regardless, he'd be gone.
Candescence Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 If I was the girl(friend) in this sitation, if a guy told me this story, I'd drop him like a hot potato. I'd believe: a) He did something and he's lying; or: b) He's telling me to inspire jealousy or insecurity. Regardless, he'd be gone. ^^ What D-lish said. Further, saying something is just going to sound like a confession. Zip your lip, imo.
D-Lish Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 ^^ What D-lish said. Further, saying something is just going to sound like a confession. Zip your lip, imo. Either a confession, or bragging. I'd be thinking, either way- red flag!
zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Honestly, the only thing at all that makes this suspicious to me is that (A) You seem to think it's suspicious. (You are the one who would know.) (B) You just called your friend hot.* *Note, this is not the fact that she is attractive (that's fine), but that you said she's "quite hot" here. If someone asked me who was hotter, my male friend or my boyfriend (don't have one, but theoretically), I think I would've said, "What's that got to do with anything?" But, I really don't see any reason to tell her, except that you're now making a conscious choice not to tell her, which makes it suspicious. (If that makes sense. It's not the event, nor the not mentioning it, that I find suspicious, but the fact that so much self-suspicion and self-censoring is occurring here.)
alyssatranswarrior Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 You don't think its just full disclosure? I guess you girls saying red flag don't date any honest guys, because you drop them when they tell you things honestly
MrNate Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 If you don't see by now, it's not worth disclosing bro. Now if some touching happened, and everything just went black, then that's another story and depends on you lol.
D-Lish Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 You don't think its just full disclosure? I guess you girls saying red flag don't date any honest guys, because you drop them when they tell you things honestly There is a huge difference between being honest and unloading your guilt at the expense of the other person's feelings. Nothing happened with the other girl supposedly, so why would he want to make her feel insecure??? Actually I don't think the OP feels guilty, I think he wants to make his new gf feel like she has something to worry about because in a twisted way he thinks it will keep her on her toes if he can make her feel jealous.
Pink Cupcakes Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I am with zengirl, the fact that he basically said his friend is hotter than his girlfriend suggests he sort of wishes something something would have happened with his friend, but he was afraid to make a move. I think he is unsure of his feelings with his girlfriend and if he even wants to continue, and is possibly even self-consciously hoping his girlfriend will break up with him over it.
zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 You don't think its just full disclosure? I guess you girls saying red flag don't date any honest guys, because you drop them when they tell you things honestly I totally date honest guys. My later point was that he has made a big deal of it in his own mind. What's that about? I've showered at a male friend's place before (I don't own a robe and I hate them, so can't say I've sat around in one), but I would never be all, "Oh, goodness, should I tell my boyfriend" about it. If it were an issue, I wouldn't have done it. I did it because it was, to me and the friend, a non-issue. I'm not saying I'd've hidden it, but "disclosure" suggests there's some sort of "need" to disclose something. Maybe this all comes from me not getting jealousy. I always figure jealousy is caused by insecurity or incompatibility. Trust issues, to talk about, may pop up from time to time, but the fact is: Either you trust yourself to pick out people you can trust, or you don't.
DontWorryBHappy Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Sorry OP, but you sound quite wishy washy. I'm guessing if the girl you ate sushi with wasn't "quite hot" you wouldnt be making such a big deal out of this. But anyway, just the fact that you said "Honestly, my friend is quite hot" was lame in more ways than one and just doesnt make you look very good. Secondly, you obviously think it was something if you feel it's worth disclosing. So the real problem here is you.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I am with zengirl, the fact that he basically said his friend is hotter than his girlfriend suggests he sort of wishes something something would have happened with his friend, but he was afraid to make a move. I think he is unsure of his feelings with his girlfriend and if he even wants to continue, and is possibly even self-consciously hoping his girlfriend will break up with him over it. I agree completely. He didn't even add at the end of the post "but my girlfriend is also hot/is hotter" or anything. If he had, I might have rolled my eyes and thought he was just making some overly honest observations, but the fact that he only mentioned HER body and not his girlfriends in response to that question doesn't make him look innocent at all. My opinion is that this situation isn't innocent at all. He's thinking about leaving his girlfriend and sleeping with this woman and asked if he needed to tell his girlfriend to excuse the behavior and the need to keep it secret from her, but he sounds like he's playing with fire and trying to get with this girl. And my opinion is . . . . please don't cheat. If you really need to sleep with this girl, then just break-up with your current girlfriend and let her move on and pursue this other girl or whatever you want. Just please don't cheat. There's no reason for it.
MrNate Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Listen to these ladies bro, they're on to something. If you feel you might not be able to stay faithful, or are losing interest in your gf, don't take the low route and cheat. Just be a man and end your relationship before starting another.
bac Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 In general, you do not tell your GF anything that would hurt her feelings especially jealousy provoking stories. Every man has stories like that and even worse, but your GF should not deal with all these problems/stories because she probably is not strong enough emotionally to handle them.
Author guy.lepage Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 Guys and gals, thanks for your replies. Just to clarify, my girlfriend is great in every way. I don't want to leave her and I have no intention of cheating. You are right that I'm a bit troubled by what happened before the funeral. Perhaps I may come across as a bit conservative, but I think what happened was quite unusual. The excitement I got out of it is troubling me indeed. There's no chance I might see this friend again anytime soon so I'll just keep it quiet.
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