dflight12 Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 We've been dating since january. It was awesome til about beginning of June when she started her new job as nurse in the ER. I know she is always stressed out about. But our relationnship just isn;t the same. She hardly laughs and is always so serious anymore. The best thing about her was that we always got along great and laughed together. I don't want to do it just because she is stressed from her job. But if she continues this way I can't take it. We fight now over the dumbest things. She is always giving me the feeling I am doing something wrong. I dont like it. But I can't just break up with her its so hard. If I do, do i say its because she is miserable? I'd like to date her again if she wasn't down in the dumps anymore. But I just kind of feel that I might not be making her as happy as I did, so I'll do it b4 she can do it to me. She just bought me so much stuff for my bday I'd feel awful. Advice plz?
Enchanted Girl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Are some of these fights about how she is making you feel miserable all the time as well? Or have you talked to her about this problem at all yet? If you did, what did she say about it?
zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I wouldn't break up with someone because they were stressed and having a bad month (or two months?) if the relationship was good before then and I could see a new, concrete reason for their behavior, like this new job. I would definitely try to talk about it and work on the relationship first. That said, if it doesn't get better, and you're always fighting, then. . . maybe a break-up would be in order after you've exhausted things. How invested in this relationship are you? That's the question. Don't waste her time if you only like her when things are good.
BS76 Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 "Girl is on the fence...treat her to a nice dinner or not?" Is she a prostitute? No? Then don't treat her like one by trying to pay for her affection through fancy dinners (or gifts and whatnot).
SassyKitten Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Man up and have her back on all of this. That's one of the most important things that both people in the relationship are there for. I can think of several relationships I've been in where things were going great, and then I hit a rough patch for any reason from my cat dying to fighting with relatives, and had a hard time smiling and laughing. And it makes the breakup hurt that much more when I realize the guy is too selfish or too wimpy to stand by me.
Candescence Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Getting a new job can be stressful. Nursing, especially in the ER can be very difficult and taxing on anyone, let alone someone new to a unit or a field. Having friends as nurses, and working very closely with them, to generalize, they need individuals that are supportive and can listen when they need to get things off their chest about work issues. If you can't be supportive, dump her. At least then she can find someone that can handle some emotional changes, and she isn't expected to be happy 24/7 so that you aren't uncomfortable.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Man up and have her back on all of this. That's one of the most important things that both people in the relationship are there for. Yep. This approach offers the best possible chance of getting her back to being her fun-loving self. If it has been awesome for 7 months, hasn't she earned at least a few weeks of solid support? People are so fickle these days. No offense, OP, but come on. Do you love this woman or not? If so, love her and support her through this transition. If not, don't waste her or your time anymore.
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