neveragain2493 Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 and a half months. Last weekend, we finally had sex. It was my first time. I'm on the Pill, and he used a condom. He was really nervous that I'd be pregnant, but I got my period. This weekend, I wanted to do it again, but he refused. He says even with the Pill and condoms, I could still get pregnant, and he didn't want to live with the possibility. He says he did it with me the first time because I wanted him to be first, and he loves me. I'm hurt because I loved the way it made me feel closer to him, and I wanted to try a lot of things with sex that I feel I won't get to. However, he refused when I wanted it the first time but finally changed his mind, so I don't think I should be too worried.
kdark Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 That is an extremely irrational fear, being afraid of a pregnancy when you are on the pill and he is wearing a condom. How old are you two? When I was dating my first girlfriend I had similar fears, but my love of sex triumphed over my fears, most of the time. Sex is am important part of most relationships, and it is doubly important to be able to talk to your partner about your feelings in regards to sex. Let him know how you feel hurt.
TaraMaiden Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 It's just a question, but does he by any chance have strong religious convictions, at all? Just wondering.....
Author neveragain2493 Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 We're almost eighteen. Young, but mature. He had sex with a girlfriend before me, and I think he had either a big pregnancy scare or she had to get an abortion. Something happened. :\ He said, "I know I'm not the most religious person in the world, but I do know that it's wrong if you're not married." I explained that it hurt, and he said he didn't know what to say. He asked me to respect it because I could either not have sex and be with him or just be alone.
Knittress Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Maybe he's trying to break up with you in an extremely wussbag manner?
TaraMaiden Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 We're almost eighteen. Young, but mature. He had sex with a girlfriend before me, and I think he had either a big pregnancy scare or she had to get an abortion. Something happened. :\ He said, "I know I'm not the most religious person in the world, but I do know that it's wrong if you're not married." I explained that it hurt, and he said he didn't know what to say. He asked me to respect it because I could either not have sex and be with him or just be alone. This is a screwed-up outlook (if he cannot for the life of him explain to you WHY sex is wrong if you're not married) and perhaps he needs some kind of therapeutic counselling. Also, it's emotional blackmail, to tell you that it's either his way, or you go. I Whatever the reason, whatever his logic - it's manipulative. I don't really care about what his past contains. It shouldn't be so big in his life that he permits it to affect you. Think carefully about whether you want to share your love-life, and intimacy, with someone who already has an extremely particular and unusual standpoint regarding sex...
sagetalk Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 He said, "I know I'm not the most religious person in the world, but I do know that it's wrong if you're not married." He's right, a child being born when its parent are not married makes it a bastard child. It's not looked down on as much as it was, but it's still not well accepted. I find it shocking that a guy his age actually cares about that though, that is rare. It sounds like he had a traumatic experience that happen in the past regarding this. If he wants to wait, then I think you should. Normally, this is the other way around.
HeldbyGravity Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I see nothing wrong with waiting. It is a true test of love, after all- if you're still with him and you're not having sex, then you really love him. If you can't stand it without the sex, even if he's close to you in other ways, then you my friend have fallen into the trap of sexual desire. All it takes is one time and you're hooked . Not a bad thing, but if you two have such different opinions on this, maybe you have to rethink the relationship. Whatever happens, especially if he has some past thing that brought this on, you have to respect his decision.
Author neveragain2493 Posted July 29, 2010 Author Posted July 29, 2010 The other day, things got heavy, and we had sex. I don't know why I took it so seriously. Thanks for the advice.
qinboxmail Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 and a half months. Last weekend, we finally had sex. It was my first time. I'm on the Pill, and he used a condom. He was really nervous that I'd be pregnant, but I got my period. This weekend, I wanted to do it again, but he refused. He says even with the Pill and condoms, I could still get pregnant, and he didn't want to live with the possibility. He says he did it with me the first time because I wanted him to be first, and he loves me. I'm hurt because I loved the way it made me feel closer to him, and I wanted to try a lot of things with sex that I feel I won't get to. However, he refused when I wanted it the first time but finally changed his mind, so I don't think I should be too worried. If you were my gf I would have sex with you 24/7. Unfortunately you're not.
D-Lish Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 He's right, a child being born when its parent are not married makes it a bastard child. It's not looked down on as much as it was, but it's still not well accepted. I find it shocking that a guy his age actually cares about that though, that is rare. It sounds like he had a traumatic experience that happen in the past regarding this. What century are you living in????
Pink Cupcakes Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Maybe the whole giving in to "sinful sex" is a turnon to him.
D-Lish Posted July 31, 2010 Posted July 31, 2010 Maybe the whole giving in to "sinful sex" is a turnon to him. Is this guy Catholic????
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