aimeeg Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I'm seventeen years old and have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We've been having sex for about 4 months now. We both lost our virginity to each other as well. It never really has felt good though.... I've tried lots of different positions but nothing really "blows me away". It honestly is so difficult and I need help because I don't know what to do. Anyone want to help?!
OrdealByFire Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Guess I'll ask the obvious question... are you super 'excited' or just meh?
Author aimeeg Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 Guess I'll ask the obvious question... are you super 'excited' or just meh? I try to be but it's hard sometimes... my mind wanders but sometimes I think I'm in the right state of mind.
Author aimeeg Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 So is it just that he's boring or...? No, he isn't boring. It's just hard to be excited when you're a girl. At least I think that, it isn't as easy as guys to get aroused.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I try to be but it's hard sometimes... my mind wanders but sometimes I think I'm in the right state of mind. How long are you going? How much foreplay are you doing? Are you achieving orgasm?
denise_xo Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I'm seventeen years old and have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We've been having sex for about 4 months now. We both lost our virginity to each other as well. It never really has felt good though.... I've tried lots of different positions but nothing really "blows me away". It honestly is so difficult and I need help because I don't know what to do. Anyone want to help?! First, maybe you should move this thread to the sexual health section. It's a bit difficult to give advice based on the information you're giving, but here's a few issues to consider. - women usually need a lot of attention before the act (more than men) to be blown away - do you get that? - does he actually turn you on? or are you simply with the wrong guy? - do you get 'blown away' if by yourself? - do you have clear lines of communication on this topic?
OrdealByFire Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Yeah more foreplay focused on you would probably help... but as the person above mentioned, if you aren't attracted to him, you can't really help that.
Green Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 You are kinda young and he doesn't seem to be getting you hot and horny so that could be why it hurts.
stillafool Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 You started having sex too soon. Wait about 10 years and you'll love, love, love it!
Author aimeeg Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 How long are you going? How much foreplay are you doing? Are you achieving orgasm? We have foreplay for at least 15 to 20 minutes before we do anything more. We usually have sex/foreplay for about an hour or two. And I only achieve orgasm through clitoris stimulation, and even with that it takes about 25 minutes to get one.
Author aimeeg Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 First, maybe you should move this thread to the sexual health section. It's a bit difficult to give advice based on the information you're giving, but here's a few issues to consider. - women usually need a lot of attention before the act (more than men) to be blown away - do you get that? - does he actually turn you on? or are you simply with the wrong guy? - do you get 'blown away' if by yourself? - do you have clear lines of communication on this topic? Yeah I posted it again on the sexual health section, I didn't realize until after I posted that I put it in the dating section. 1, yes I try to get a lot of attention before we have sex. 2, Yes, he does turn me on, I think I'm with the right guy. 3, No, I can't really pleasure myself... I also bought a vibrator and it doesn't feel good at all either. 3, Yes, we're very open about talking about sex with one another.
Author aimeeg Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 You are kinda young and he doesn't seem to be getting you hot and horny so that could be why it hurts. Do you think it will improve as I get older?
Green Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Do you think it will improve as I get older? Well I wouldn't worry about it. My advice would be to stop having it for now. You'll ruin yourself for it. Wait till you are horny for it. Right now you are just trying to make this guy happy and do something that you consider the next level of closeness. Do you like it when he eats you out or fingers you? If you do why not just stick to that.
Author aimeeg Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 Well I wouldn't worry about it. My advice would be to stop having it for now. You'll ruin yourself for it. Wait till you are horny for it. Right now you are just trying to make this guy happy and do something that you consider the next level of closeness. Do you like it when he eats you out or fingers you? If you do why not just stick to that. That's a good point, I'm not going to do it until I'm completely "in the mood" again. And yes, I do like it when he eats me out and fingers me. Oral sex doesn't feel like anything for me until the last minute when I'm about to orgasm... I don't know if the ride there is supposed to feel good but it doesn't for me until I orgasm. And fingering feels good but gets sore very easily
Green Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 That's a good point, I'm not going to do it until I'm completely "in the mood" again. And yes, I do like it when he eats me out and fingers me. Oral sex doesn't feel like anything for me until the last minute when I'm about to orgasm... I don't know if the ride there is supposed to feel good but it doesn't for me until I orgasm. And fingering feels good but gets sore very easily Well the fingering... does he stick his finger in or just rub gently around the outside... because you don't have to actualy stick the finger in. Look just don't have sex until YOU are horny or YOU will ruin sex for yourself.
bac Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Does your guy enjoy the sex? Does he notice that you do not like it sometimes? Do you love each other? Are you exclusive? In fact, what you have described about your libido/sexual abilities is exceptionally good for your age. It takes many yrs and many partners to learn how to enjoy sex and how to be good at that.
Green Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Does your guy enjoy the sex? Does he notice that you do not like it sometimes? Do you love each other? Are you exclusive? In fact, what you have described about your libido/sexual abilities is exceptionally good for your age. It takes many yrs and many partners to learn how to enjoy sex and how to be good at that. When I was her age sex scared the crap out of me. It took me till my 3rd partner to get it right (or atleast what i consider right) but I think if you only have sex with one person time can improve things.
stillafool Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 When I was her age sex scared the crap out of me. It took me till my 3rd partner to get it right (or atleast what i consider right) but I think if you only have sex with one person time can improve things. I don't know about that. Maybe another guy can make her feel things this guy can't. But for now and at her age I think she should put a hold on the sex thing.
Author aimeeg Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 Well the fingering... does he stick his finger in or just rub gently around the outside... because you don't have to actualy stick the finger in. Look just don't have sex until YOU are horny or YOU will ruin sex for yourself. He goes in, which is why it gets sore sometimes I guess.
Author aimeeg Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 Does your guy enjoy the sex? Does he notice that you do not like it sometimes? Do you love each other? Are you exclusive? In fact, what you have described about your libido/sexual abilities is exceptionally good for your age. It takes many yrs and many partners to learn how to enjoy sex and how to be good at that. Yes, he enjoys sex. Yes, he knows I don't enjoy it sometimes. When I'm blunt about it, we don't have sex. Yes, we love each other so much, we are exclusive and hope to get married in time. Yeah I figured time is what it needs for it to feel better.
Author aimeeg Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 I don't know about that. Maybe another guy can make her feel things this guy can't. But for now and at her age I think she should put a hold on the sex thing. Yeah I wouldn't even be thinking about sex if I wasn't with my current boyfriend. And I don't plan on having sex with anyone else. If we did break up I would put a long hold on my sex life.
Green Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 He goes in, which is why it gets sore sometimes I guess. When he fingers you he can just rub on the outside by the clit and it should feel just as good with out the soreness.
bac Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Yes, he enjoys sex. Yes, he knows I don't enjoy it sometimes. When I'm blunt about it, we don't have sex. Yes, we love each other so much, we are exclusive and hope to get married in time. Yeah I figured time is what it needs for it to feel better. Congratulations on that! It is hard to find a true love. As for time, for some women it might take more than 20yrs or more to figure out what sex is about. Obviously, you are not one of them because you are already capable of an orgasm during sex that is the hardest skill to gain.
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