Serenitynow Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 This is becoming comical now. I have contacted 100 women on a dating site. Not one of them has replied.
skydiveaddict Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 This is becoming comical now. I have contacted 100 women on a dating site. Not one of them has replied. I'm not surprised. The internet sucks for dating
Enchanted Girl Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Are you serious? What have you been saying to them? What's on your profile? The one time I was on a dating site (and I'm not that attractive or anything), I contacted about 10 people and got 5 replies. Maybe you're on the wrong dating site as well.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Oh crap! I forgot to add . . . . Did you make sure to check that all of the women you contacted had logged in recently? Because maybe you were contacting women who are inactive and haven't seen your messages.
WTRanger Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 If it's a free dating site, your numbers are par for the course. Typically those sites have a male to female ratio of 1,000 to 1. They could be thinking you are just another troll looking for sex. That being said, you really should look into what you are saying and what's on your profile.
Author Serenitynow Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 Heres the link, not sure if it will work or not http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=20984636
Author Serenitynow Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 Oh crap! I forgot to add . . . . Did you make sure to check that all of the women you contacted had logged in recently? Because maybe you were contacting women who are inactive and haven't seen your messages. Yes I am very analytical. I check all those little details out.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Heres the link, not sure if it will work or not http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=20984636 There's nothing wrong with your profile. Your problem is that you joined a free dating site. When I contacted the 10 people and 5 replied it was because I made a trial account on eharmony. It's worth paying the money, in my opinion.
hopesndreams Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I want you to be energetic, passionate, spontaneous, and exciting to be around. Get rid of that. The rest is fine.
alexlakeman Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Use a pay site..you get what you pay for On Match, if it says they haven't been active for 3 weeks , that means it could be as long as eternity since the last time they logged on.. Match scams you with the 3 weeks active deal, so it seems like more activity.,.. I found out when I was off of it for 1-2 years, came back , and said, "not active for 3 weeks"... lol Don't wink... read their profile and comment on something specific and ask a question or two to prompt a response.. It works... just have to put some pics and some effort unless you are ugly as F... then you'll have to shoot yourself, lol I want you to be energetic, passionate, spontaneous, and exciting to be around. Get rid of that. The rest is fine. Yeah, that comment s.cks..
Enchanted Girl Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Use a pay site..you get what you pay for On Match, if it says they haven't been active for 3 weeks , that means it could be as long as eternity since the last time they logged on.. Match scams you with the 3 weeks active deal, so it seems like more activity.,.. I found out when I was off of it for 1-2 years, came back , and said, "not active for 3 weeks"... lol Don't wink... read their profile and comment on something specific and ask a question or two to prompt a response.. It works... just have to put some pics and some effort unless you are ugly as F... then you'll have to shoot yourself, lol Yeah, that comment s.cks.. He's not ugly and I don't think "ugly" people are going to die alone either.
Author Serenitynow Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 I tried match for 6 mos, never got any replies there. I tried eharmony, and when I was done with my profile. It said we couldnt find any matches for you, and I never had any luck there. Its all the same people on all the sites anyways. They try the pay sites first. then move to the free site. I see the same people on each site.
hopesndreams Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Put something lighthearted in your profile that is not cut and paste. Something that stands out from the rest. You have the looks. Just don't be so serious.
USMCHokie Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Don't wink... read their profile and comment on something specific and ask a question or two to prompt a response.. Agreed...winking just screams "I think you're attractive but I'm too lazy to read your profile and write a personalized message to you...but at least I think you're attractive... :rolleyes:"
Art_Critic Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 You own your own home is the VERY FIRST words in your profile... no wonder you are getting no hits.. Whether or not you even own a home doesn't belong in your profile period.. You are labeling yourself materialistic and they haven't even read anything else. Somebody on LS help this guy tune up his profile.. and use a pay site...
Enchanted Girl Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I tried match for 6 mos, never got any replies there. I tried eharmony, and when I was done with my profile. It said we couldnt find any matches for you, and I never had any luck there. Its all the same people on all the sites anyways. They try the pay sites first. then move to the free site. I see the same people on each site. I think you didn't give eharmony enough of a chance. It takes awhile to find the matches.
zengirl Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 You're picking the wrong women (or wrong for you) and/or your profile has massive flaws. I hear men say this all the time, but as a female whose been on those dating sites, screening, it's usually: 1.) He's too old for me. This happens a lot. Most dating sites have an age bracket; anywhere outside of mine, and I don't feel compelled to respond. It's stated right there what it is. (I may respond to someone really awesome who's just a year out, but I set mine a bit wide---the upper age and lower age are both a bit "eh" to me, more so with the upper range because I'm young and the lower range is closer to my age). 2.) His profile isn't fully filled out. Guys with no pictures, blank profiles, or even sparse profiles get very short looks. My profiles are always all-the-way filled out, I take some time writing them, and I like writers and people who write well. Even people who don't like writers need something to get them interested. 3.) His message was too short. If the person has a good profile, I don't care about this. Unless it is something really silly like "Hey. How r u." 4.) His message was too familiar. Mentioning a common interest from my profile is good. Saying he thinks "we might have a connection" or something that is creating some sort of familiarity that doesn't exist is creepy. 5.) He focuses on my looks. I think every girl assumes someone contacting them thinks they're cute. If a guy writes this (depending on way, but it's safer just not to do this), it sometimes comes across the same way an obvious, lame come-on in a bar would. Especially if it's the only thing he bothers to talk about. Did you even read? I wonder. 6.) He focuses on him in a message. I'm not saying he has to write a book about my profile, but just mention it, say we have things in common (if we don't, why are you writing me?), and drop me a quick line to look at his. Guys who write their own personal ad in the message ---yes, this includes guys who do this because they didn't bother to finish the profile for whatever reason --- turn me off. Especially if they talk about "What they're looking for" because that combines being self-absorbed with being too familiar! A great thing to do to get a message is to ask a sincere question about the person. Caveat: The question I hate is, "So, tell me something else about yourself you didn't write here but want me to know." Hey, Mr. Stranger, if I wanted you to know it, I'd've written it here or I'll tell you naturally. Lame question. 7.) He looks creepy in his photo. Not just unattractive, but the photos are all darkly lit, none with friends, and he just looks anti-social and scary. 8.) He writes in his profile about all the games he doesn't play and all the people he doesn't want to talk to. Enough said, honestly. 9.) He has interests or qualities I find abhorrent. This is going to be hard to scan for and this maybe falls in the "I should just say I'm not interested" vein, but if I really hate his interests, I might just delete. This is usually religious/political stuff for me, that comes through in a profile: i.e. Fundie Christian guys who write me. But I think every guy loses a portion of their messages to this, in some form. Unless he has interests that are really unhealthy, I don't think guys should really change this (it's not like I'd really date Mr. Republican Fundie Christian Patriotism Dude even if he didn't state it outright). But for qualities----sometimes, that's just the way someone comes across. If they come across as stuck-up, defensive, negative, or angry, I'm probably not writing them. A lot of "not" words and phrases can make a positive person seem negative, so double-checking the writing is good. 10.) He's snarky in a first message. And I like sarcastic people! But, dude, anyone who even gives me a hint of mocking in a first message is someone I figure doesn't even know social mores and/or he's trying some Pretty Girl Put-Down B.S. that I want nowhere near me. My friends and I all mock each other, gladly, but I don't go around introducing myself to strangers with sarcasm. Also: Login dates. . . I simply don't login to dating sites for weeks at a time sometimes, but that shows up. This usually happens when I'm dating someone or, like now, when I'm moving. I mean, if she isn't logging in. . . she can't be writing you. I have contacted guys to say I'm not interested, but I find all these guys to be more trouble than they're worth (these are signs of guys that will lash out, I've found). Of course, if I don't find them appealing and interesting, I'm not going to write back a substantial message, but they might get something in the "I'm not feeling it, but thanks for writing" variety at least. The hardest thing for me -- and the ones I do write back to but take the most time with -- are the guys who seem like they could maybe be great as people/friends but who I'd never date (either attraction/pictures or something I see that makes us incompatible because of lifestyle choices). That's always hard to handle. FWIW, while I definitely judge looks, I'm way pickier about a guy's profile than his looks -- too many of the profiles are cliche and pointless. Then again, I tend to date writers/creatives/storytellers, so I always liked online dating because you could see how well a man could write (grammar, pacing, tone, details). But I tried to point out only the issues I think are more universal. Of course, feel free to just complain and think all women are horrible instead.
Author Serenitynow Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 You own your own home is the VERY FIRST words in your profile... no wonder you are getting no hits.. Whether or not you even own a home doesn't belong in your profile period.. You are labeling yourself materialistic and they haven't even read anything else. Somebody on LS help this guy tune up his profile.. and use a pay site... Thats your opinion Clarabelle. 80% of the women worth dating on this site comment how they want a guy that is mature and can stand on his own two feet. I am simply reacting to the profiles I read.
Art_Critic Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Thats your opinion Clarabelle. 80% of the women worth dating on this site comment how they want a guy that is mature and can stand on his own two feet. I am simply reacting to the profiles I read. I've always owned my own home SN.. since about the age of 22 or so... I never even mentioned to women online or anywhere that I owned a home, business, boats or anything else.. It was on down the line that a person needs to know what you are.. they want to know who you are first.. I married my wife... the woman of my life I met off match.. I dated and had many relationships off online dating.. My profile talked about who I was not what I owned You do realize that many women today also own their own homes? Where is the shirtless pic.. I would think that is what you are missing
hopesndreams Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I've always owned my own home SN.. since about the age of 22 or so... I never even mentioned to women online or anywhere that I owned a home, business, boats or anything else.. It was on down the line that a person needs to know what you are.. they want to know who you are first.. I married my wife... the woman of my life I met off match.. I dated and had many relationships off online dating.. My profile talked about who I was not what I owned You do realize that many women today also own their own homes? Where is the shirtless pic.. I would think that is what you are missing Don't forget the standing in front of your vehicle pic.
USMCHokie Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Where is the shirtless pic.. I would think that is what you are missing Hmmm, the jury is still out on this one...FTW...?
Kamille Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I'm going to be nitpicky about one thing: instead of mentioning the music you don't like, speak about the music you do like.
Author Serenitynow Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 Don't forget the standing in front of your vehicle pic. Theres actually more women with pics of themselves standing in front of vehicles, or laying on them, than guys doing the same on this site. I also see TONS of women posting pics of their pets on their profile. I would love to understand what that has to do with dating.
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