Kamille Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Fall in love gently, please. I feel like most of the issues in the dating section could somehow be solved if people gave the other person the time to gain their trust. Meeting people, getting to know someone, trusting them, it all takes time. Trust isn't something you give or gain all at once. There are moments of trust, but trust is something that is built over time. Trust is constantly negotiated between two people falling in love. This negotiation is a beautiful part of falling in love. Over time, this negotiation becomes much more enjoyable than scary. So take your time! Be gentle when falling in love. Keep your own boundaries, don't rush, don't lose sight of yourself, stay balanced and healthy. Keep sight of yourself. The person you just met won't solve all your problems. Taking care of yourself is still up to you. How do you know someone is right for you until you've actually gotten to know them? Trust comes with time. Never take it for granted and always ask for it.
Pyro Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Exactly. Like the old saying: Rome wasn't built in a day. Now a days people are concerned with after how few dates should you be sleeping with the person. Patience can get you a very long way.
spookie Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I just want to give him a head's up. You know, say something like, "If you get blisters on your dick, it's probably Simplex 1!"
Pyro Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I just want to give him a head's up. You know, say something like, "If you get blisters on your dick, it's probably Simplex 1!" wrong thread.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I agree. Most people say their relationships started out strong and they started fighting over time, but mine was the exact opposite. We fought a whole lot at first and I think it was because neither of us was willing to trust the other person yet. Once time passed and we learned we could trust the other person, it got a lot easier, but it took us awhile to get to that point. XD Although I'm not recommending fighting with the people you are dating. It's just how my relationship was.
Author Kamille Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 I just want to give him a head's up. You know, say something like, "If you get blisters on your dick, it's probably Simplex 1!" And here we have an example of the kind of communication you can have, based on trust. Is this like LS Jeorpady or something: here's the answer now guess the thread title? My guess is : Damn I have an outbreak and we're going camping.
spookie Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 And here we have an example of the kind of communication you can have, based on trust. Is this like LS Jeorpady or something: here's the answer now guess the thread title? My guess is : Damn I have an outbreak and we're going camping. LMAO. *searches for "damn i have an outbreak and we're going camping" thread*
spookie Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 (edited) But on a serious note: YES! I completely agree. Most problems could be avoided if people got to know each other before emotionally committing. IMO the other, positive, side of this is: get to know someone before insiting you will never emotionally commit. The fact that I had held back on falling hard AND quitting altogether (early on due to lack of "spark"), are the reasons bf and I are together and insanely happy right now. Edited July 23, 2010 by spookie
Author Kamille Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 I agree. Most people say their relationships started out strong and they started fighting over time, but mine was the exact opposite. We fought a whole lot at first and I think it was because neither of us was willing to trust the other person yet. Once time passed and we learned we could trust the other person, it got a lot easier, but it took us awhile to get to that point. XD Although I'm not recommending fighting with the people you are dating. It's just how my relationship was. Yes! In my R, so many things are getting easier with time, even as we're LDR. We now how we communicate better. We know that we're significant in each other's life because of the stories we share together. I had my moments of "red flag" spotting in my relationship until I realized my best option was to trust myself to make the right decisions. I am surely going to make mistakes along the way, but none that are unforgivable. I sought and listened to advice, but most of all, I made sure I was happy, wether it was because of or in spite of him.
spookie Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 The beginning of my R was really stressful, too. Not so much fighting, as an eternal internal dialogue regarding whether he was in the process of abandoning me, with a debate regarding whether I should end it first to accompanying. As I get to know him, I am realizing he is not the selfish womanizer I'd imagine in my insecure moments away from him. I am understanding why he likes me, and which needs of his are being met with a relationship. With this knowledge, I am secure enough to just enjoy...
Enchanted Girl Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 @Kamille: That's interesting! I'm in an LDR, too.
Author Kamille Posted July 24, 2010 Author Posted July 24, 2010 The beginning of my R was really stressful, too. Not so much fighting, as an eternal internal dialogue regarding whether he was in the process of abandoning me, with a debate regarding whether I should end it first to accompanying. As I get to know him, I am realizing he is not the selfish womanizer I'd imagine in my insecure moments away from him. I am understanding why he likes me, and which needs of his are being met with a relationship. With this knowledge, I am secure enough to just enjoy... Yes, I had the same type of internal dialogue. And the weird thing is that I realized that a lot of my insecurities were caused by the fact that I relied too much on outside indicators to try to figure out the pulse of my relationship. I would turn to my friends before I would turn to bf. Now I never hesitate to bring up an issue with him. He's my go to guy. But he earned that privilege.
skydiveaddict Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 I'll never give my heart away again. I've had it
spookie Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Yes, I had the same type of internal dialogue. And the weird thing is that I realized that a lot of my insecurities were caused by the fact that I relied too much on outside indicators to try to figure out the pulse of my relationship. I would turn to my friends before I would turn to bf. Now I never hesitate to bring up an issue with him. He's my go to guy. But he earned that privilege. Me too! Instead of asking direct questions like "where is this going?" and "what does this mean to you?" I would post here hoping someone would crack the code in his behavior, explaining what it all meant, what I should brace myself for. I trust him now that I understand him.
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