dgia1810 Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 she decided to get pregnant intentionally because i'm getting deployed to Afghanistan NEXT MARCH. its going to be only for an year, and i'm an intelligence specialist so my job is not dangerous i'm in the field but not the front lines I told everyone this a hundred times and they still act like its the end of the world. and we both are still in school she has one more year to go i have 3 yea she's older than me. in a way i should have taken caution like not using condoms at her place when she was talking about wanting kids and wanting to move in together but then she has been with me for 3 years and she still stayed with me when i went to basic i mean she's really committed and for a girl like her surprised and i guess being pregnant will ruin every thing for her too, and i can't believe our parents are happy about it. she broke the news 2 weeks ago and i have been ignoring her since i am mad coz how am i going to afford a kid she has money but i dont i'm not poor were just middle class. and i'm 21 she's 24 and we both are totally depending on our parents at least she has a job the only money i get is the $350 i get form the marines for being in the reserves
MrNate Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 she decided to get pregnant intentionally because i'm getting deployed to Afghanistan NEXT MARCH. its going to be only for an year, and i'm an intelligence specialist so my job is not dangerous i'm in the field but not the front lines I told everyone this a hundred times and they still act like its the end of the world. and we both are still in school she has one more year to go i have 3 yea she's older than me. in a way i should have taken caution like not using condoms at her place when she was talking about wanting kids and wanting to move in together but then she has been with me for 3 years and she still stayed with me when i went to basic i mean she's really committed and for a girl like her surprised and i guess being pregnant will ruin every thing for her too, and i can't believe our parents are happy about it. she broke the news 2 weeks ago and i have been ignoring her since i am mad coz how am i going to afford a kid she has money but i dont i'm not poor were just middle class. and i'm 21 she's 24 and we both are totally depending on our parents at least she has a job the only money i get is the $350 i get form the marines for being in the reserves This is my absolute worst fear *shudders*. Ouch. Man what you do is totally up to you. Your feelings are warranted though. Kids change things, and people. Have you brought up this issue with your parents, and explained to them that you are just not in a financial position to raise a child?
Author dgia1810 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 yea i did talk to my parents and well my mom was a little upset but now she's shopping, her mom was all happy and i dont know whay their so happy. as for my girl i still love her to death but why did she have to do somethign so low, she knows i love her, and if i break up wiht her i will never find a girl like her (looks wise) and even tho she hated my decision she still supported me as corny as it sounds her letters are what kept me goign in basic
Pink Cupcakes Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Well you're going to have to man up and marry her. That's all there is too it. If she's good enough to have your fun with, then she's good enough to marry. doesn't matter if you feel you're in a position financially to provide for the child, it's coming and that's that, so embrace the idea of bringing a new life into the world. You don't know that she got pregnant on purpose, you have been together three years, you might as well make the commitment real, especially now that you need to make a happy, stable life for a child, no matter how he/she arrived here.
that girl Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I think what she did is totally psycho, but I don't think you have a choice other than to forgive her. In 9 months, there is going to be a baby who needs you. Holding a grudge against his or her mother will only hurt that baby. Whether or not you stay with her is another issue.
Pink Cupcakes Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Nah, I dont' think she did it on purpose, he admitted to not using condoms with her.
Author dgia1810 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 Nah, I dont' think she did it on purpose, he admitted to not using condoms with her. i did use one sry if i wasnt clear i'm dyslexic i only work with numbers. btu it was from her dresser and not i remember the box was open but had all 4 in them so that is a little weird
that girl Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Wait, what exactly happened? Did she admit to tampering with condoms or are you just assuming?
Author dgia1810 Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 no but she was all apologitic about it when she told me she's pregnant, and then the box was open so it kinda made me think coz she knows i dont carry around any condoms,i always use her's, and you dont know when she's int he mood
Blade Runner Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 (edited) i dont carry around any condoms,i always use her's, and you dont know when she's int he mood[/Quote] I've heard so many stories about girlfriends/FWB/whatever's intentionally making themselves pregnant. If this is the case and that she did actually do it - you gotta get out of there man. Obviously you have to consider the fact that you're going to have a kid. But seriously. You're young and you've got your whole life ahead of you. I don't know why someone said marry her - if she tampered with a condom just to try and keep you, then you know she's not worth it. She's a psycho if she did that. I'm not saying run for the hills but I am saying don't marry her! (You owe it to the kid be around and help in ways you can, but being around a woman like that is dangerous). You've got a whole lifetime to travel, see the world, find a really great girl that doesn't manipulate, one that has things going for her, you're 21, do you really want to settle now and desperately try and scrap for cash as you marry this girl? This sounds potentially disasterous to me. Yikes. You should first get the truth though. You need to know if she actually did tamper with her condoms. If you're not ready for a kid, why would you use her condoms by the way? Use your own - and get rid of them afterwards...and have tobasco sause as backup in case there's no where to get rid of it! Edited July 23, 2010 by Blade Runner
that girl Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 So you have no reason to think she intentionally got pregnant? It is very hard to read between the lines here, but I'm getting a paranoid vibe here. Condoms, even with perfect use, have a failure rate of 2% which means 2 women in 100 will get pregnant in a given year. In typical use (ie occasionally skipping condoms, putting them on midway through sex, using expired condoms, using condoms kept in a back pocket or hot car), the failure rate is 10%. If you're going to accuse her of intentionally getting pregnant, you have to have some reason other than "she told me she was sorry she was pregnant and bought the condoms." Not only is that not enough, whether you split up or not, this woman will be the mother of your child. If you're not ready for a kid, why would you use her condoms by the way? Use your own - and get rid of them afterwards...and have tobasco sause as backup in case there's no where to get rid of it! This isn't funny, it is psychotic (and yes, I know where it is from). Guys who think like this deserve conniving women, decent women are way out of their league.
Blade Runner Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 (edited) This isn't funny, it is psychotic (and yes, I know where it is from). Guys who think like this deserve conniving women, decent women are way out of their league.[/Quote]For the record, I don't think like this. But you have to weigh up the situation. If he suspects she intentionally got herself pregnant without much evidence then there's a good chance he's been suspicious before. It's pretty terrible to be in a relationship where you have to destroy the condoms because you're suspcious, that's awful and the best advice would be to LEAVE. But if she actually did poke a hole in it - look at what happened. There's a kid on the scene. That's huge. This kind of stuff does happen, and maybe not every one of the women that would do this kind of thing is a terrible person. We're all capable of crazy stuff in certain situations. As I say, the OP needs to find out what actually happened though, I agree. Edited July 23, 2010 by Blade Runner
that girl Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 For the record, I don't think like this. You suggested it, not the OP so you can't backpedal now. If he suspects she intentionally got herself pregnant without much evidence then there's a good chance he's been suspicious before. Normally people have some reason why they doubt their partner. A bunch of hang up calls and late meetings might someone think their partner is cheating. This guy doesn't seem to have anything to suggest it, he just sounds paranoid. This kind of stuff does happen Two in a hundred women using condoms perfectly will become pregnant in a year. I doubt the number who poke holes in condoms is that high, nevermind the number of women who actually manage to get pregnant that way. When you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 she decided to get pregnant intentionally because i'm getting deployed to Afghanistan NEXT MARCH. its going to be only for an year, and i'm an intelligence specialist so my job is not dangerous i'm in the field but not the front lines I told everyone this a hundred times and they still act like its the end of the world. and we both are still in school she has one more year to go i have 3 yea she's older than me. in a way i should have taken caution like not using condoms at her place when she was talking about wanting kids and wanting to move in together but then she has been with me for 3 years and she still stayed with me when i went to basic i mean she's really committed and for a girl like her surprised and i guess being pregnant will ruin every thing for her too, and i can't believe our parents are happy about it. she broke the news 2 weeks ago and i have been ignoring her since i am mad coz how am i going to afford a kid she has money but i dont i'm not poor were just middle class. and i'm 21 she's 24 and we both are totally depending on our parents at least she has a job the only money i get is the $350 i get form the marines for being in the reserves Im sorry but I think your dumping allot of the blame on her if you in fact didn't want to be a father then you should have worn a condom bottom line. You were both crazy not just her! why on earth would you ignore her when you helped contribute to the pregnancy just as much as she did? My advice you BOTH need to take responsibility for your actions now and be the best parents you can its not about you or her anymore its about the child..
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Im not saying your lieing op but something dosent add up your in the intelengence sector of the US army but yet your dyslexic? ill highlight the areas that I think pop out she decided to get pregnant intentionally because i'm getting deployed to Afghanistan NEXT MARCH. its going to be only for an year, and i'm an intelligence specialist so my job is not dangerous i'm in the field but not the front lines I told everyone this a hundred times and they still act like its the end of the world. and we both are still in school she has one more year to go i have 3 yea she's older than me. in a way i should have taken caution like not using condoms at her place when she was talking about wanting kids and wanting to move in together but then she has been with me for 3 years and she still stayed with me when i went to basic i mean she's really committed and for a girl like her surprised and i guess being pregnant will ruin every thing for her too, and i can't believe our parents are happy about it. she broke the news 2 weeks ago and i have been ignoring her since i am mad coz how am i going to afford a kid she has money but i dont i'm not poor were just middle class. and i'm 21 she's 24 and we both are totally depending on our parents at least she has a job the only money i get is the $350 i get form the marines for being in the reserves You went from near perfect spelling to quite oblivious mistakes once you were called out for not using condoms im not going to call you a lier but I just find that odd. Ill leave it up to the other members to decide for themselves if im wrong then im sorry op but you can't tell me you don't notice this once I point it all out? I don't make a habit of calling people on LS out but this just doesn't add up.. IF you made a mistake and didn't use protection just admit it i did use one sry if i wasnt clear i'm dyslexic i only work with numbers. btu it was from her dresser and not i remember the box was open but had all 4 in them so that is a little weird
sweetjasmine Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 You went from near perfect spelling to quite oblivious mistakes once you were called out for not using condoms im not going to call you a lier but I just find that odd. The first time around I read it the way you did, but the phrase is ambiguous. It could also mean, "...like not using the condoms which were at her place", meaning he used the condoms which were at her place instead of condoms he got himself. In other words, it could mean, "I should have taken caution by not using the condoms she had [and using other ones instead]."
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 The first time around I read it the way you did, but the phrase is ambiguous. It could also mean, "...like not using the condoms which were at her place", meaning he used the condoms which were at her place instead of condoms he got himself. In other words, it could mean, "I should have taken caution by not using the condoms she had [and using other ones instead]." Ok even if we go with the other version don't you find the sudden spelling mistakes odd once hes been called out? And dose the US army even hire dyslexics for there highly sensitive Intel sectors? Again I could be grabbing at straws and forgive me op if im way off the mark but when I connected those dots it was just odd to me anyways.
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