holymacaroni Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Okay so I met this guy the other day, and we had sex. But it was amazing sex. And we agreed to be '**** buddies' because neither of us wanted a relationship. But lately he's been saying things that trigger my thoughts of maybe he sees me as more? He's been asking me about my relationships and he said we need to talk about alot and he even said 'too bad im not a one guy type of girl' and he just seems like he's genuinely interested in my life and my thoughts and opinions and feelings which is weird because I'm used to the whole **** buddies just being **** buddies thing. I didn't really care about his life or anything because we were just having casual sex and enjoying each other's company. Maybe I'm looking too into that though. But then he says he wants to hang out with me more, he wants my company and whatnot. And then the last time we hung out we had sex, but afterwards we hung out and went to the mall and he was holding my hand, and buying me food, and feeding me and calling me babe and just acting ridiculously cute with me in public as if we were dating! I layed down on him in our friends car and he was just stroking my hair and my arms and kissing me on my forehead and stuff and it was just adorable and I find myself falling for him every day. He just makes me SO happy. But I'm scared because I can see myself with him...I wanna be with him now. I wanna take this **** buddy thing to another level. And sometimes with these small things he does makes me feel like he wants to also. I'm HOPING he does. He's offered to take me to six flags, the beach, he wants to take me out to eat and I told him I've never been on a picnic and he offered to take me on one and he said WE'RE gonna start going out and doing lots of stuff together. Maybe I'm overanalyzing it, but I want to know if there's a possibility of there being an 'US' instead of just keeping it sexual. Any opinions?
that girl Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 Honestly, some people start talking committment in a casual relationship because they like to feel wanted. It doesn't necessarily mean anything. You need to flat out as him if he wants to be in a monogomous relationship and if he doesn't say yes, you either need to leave or stop all of his talk and non-sex time together.
Author holymacaroni Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 Thanks for your reply How should I go about asking? I dont want a relationship right now either but at the rate we're going at I'm wondering if maybe a relationship can bloom in the winter time. He's actually flat out said (but to his friend) that he wasn't looking for a relationship but sometimes the things he does makes me feel as if he feels otherwise.
SilentVoice Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 I actually don't understand why people do this. I don't want to say guys that wouldn't be true.Anywho I am dealing with the same thing right now. We have been going at it for about 3 months and every time its a "lets cuddle"... or I want to meet your friends.. or we should try this or that thing together.I seriously don't understand this guys deal since from the beggening we both said we don't want a relationship. But once I was doing a search about NSA relationships on this forum and this comment kind of spoke to me. I don't remember it word for word but it read something like " a NSA for a guy is just a relationship without commitment". Idk I never had a NSA relationship before my current and my current seems to fit this. Anyway if you do find yourself falling this guy ... don't fool yourself. He had told you he doesn't want a relationship and his behavior doesn't really matter. But if you are really interested talk to him .But if he continues saying he isn't, dispute his actions, do not I repeat do not fall for someone who doesn't want you the same. Best of luck hun!
Author holymacaroni Posted July 22, 2010 Author Posted July 22, 2010 Thanks so much for your reply! I actually like the whole NSA attached thing myself ya know, and I'm content with the situation. But it would be nice to just be able to call him mine officially. That comment though is exactly it -_- He doesnt need to keep up any real commitment to me but we're still doing what boyfriends and girlfriends do. Sometimes I feel kind of grateful because this was what I was looking for, but Idk I feel conflicted. I just think about him all the time, and I just wanna be around him ughhh...I think I will talk to him but I'm SO scared. I feel like if I even mention relationships it'll have him up and running so I'm not sure how to bring it up. Do you enjoy the closeness you and your guy have or would you rather just keep it a mess around thing?
SilentVoice Posted July 22, 2010 Posted July 22, 2010 You shouldn't be worried if he would run , if he does oh well - you knew the possibility of that in the beginning .Just remember if you stay in something with someone who doesn't have the same view as it you would get hurt... No doubts about . In my situation I won't say we have a closeness . He tries these types of conversations or tries to self invite his self to different things I do. But I usually try to keep everything strictly platonic. He has meet my friends I have meet his but nothing more. It may seem extreme but I have to protect myself. I know the odds of a NSA relationship actually working without someone getting hurt and I don't have the time for that. But what we do have I do enjoy, even if it is only a mess around thing. If I was in anyway looking for a LTR he will be what I would want . But I have no plans on going back on my plans.Unless we both have a complete change of heart who knows. but it is not something I plan or even really want right now. But lets say if I may want more one day. I will tell him and if he doesn't want the same I am out.It would make no sense to wait around for something that is only half sided. Sorry to ramble on and on lol.
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