Davr Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Hi, I'm in need of some advice in a real complex situation. I will first lay down the basics, then let you know the deal. Okay, so there is the girl that I used to work with mumerous years ago, and we had a little thing. (didnt go the whole way) I was involved at the time, as was she. Basically this girl was just so sweet to me in a time of need and looking back at it now, how I stayed with my Ex and didn't pursue her is a huge regret of mine........Even though I felt I was doing the right thing then, her's and mine relationships ended shortlt after this time... So yea, safe to say it bit me in the ass. So, we fastforward 4-5 years. This is where it gets messed, sorry but ill try and make this as to the point as possible without sharing too much. Basically these last couple years of my life have been REALLY rough. It started with a small thing(losing my job, and yes I know... it is small to me compared to the rest) a health scare for myself which completley changed my perspective of life(in a good way), then almost losing someone very close to me.(mom). and pretty recently finding out my dad has a serious illness..... With all thats gone on I have been experience depression on and off and fighting that as well... So, during this torturess couple years, yes I have had ALOT of time to think about things and life. One thing I did think of were relationships and this girl. What I thought about was the SO many things that I totally missed at the time with her. Like things like this: She is pretty much the description of my ideal girl(physically and personality great) we grew up in the same neighbourhood for god sake, and if I didn't move to a different place.. its possible we would have went to elementry school and HS together, we have some common connections(one of my best friends went to HS with her) I remember a day we hung out and she showed at my place like 30min early(looking back maybe this was a sign she wanted to spend private time with me?) she would drive to my city and give me rides places, there is prob many more but last but not least this is the one I think of most............. I remember this day shortly after she left work(years back) and our last convo on the phone(I believe) She had started a new job and she was telling me about some of the people working with etc. She mentioned this guy that reminded her of me!!!!!!!! and yes.. you guessed it, she's been with this guy ever since.. (no, marriage, no kids) So, present time... Am I a moron for looking back at this and thinking I so missed out on a great girl? Am I wrong for thinking its possible this could have/be the girl for me? I didn't tell you my story for nothing because it does have A LOT to do with this. I don't want to make it sound selfish but maybe if I didn't go through and still be going through some stuff, maybe I would be looking at it this way right? Don't get me wrong I did think about it some even back when all this happened, its just by the time me and my GF were broken up.... She had already been gone (just barely) I can also remember actually asking her out sometime and she said yes... there was actually no doubt in my mind what she would say either. Its just again, I was in a rocky relationship at the time and god knows why I turned down a shot at this amazing girl and stuck with the Ex... jeez.. Anyway, so sorry for the longness, but as you can see it is a complicated situation. Now, we have contacted eachother and tried to make plans(this was quite a while back now) this is when I was at my old job(nights) and it was hard to get together... then, I started dealing with all these personal issues. So, I feel like such a jerk just because it was almost like we had plans to hang, and I didn't end up pulling through or really even telling her why.... Like, all my stuff is pretty personal. So, again present day. I just want to message her and see how things are. My concerns are how again I left it last.. and this. What if she wants to hang out again|????????? Like, after ive seen all I have over these years and maybe shes the one for me and I really like her? Is it wrong for me to somehow let het know how I feel, even though she is involved? thanks so much, going to rest my hands now..
Author Davr Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 wow.. weakness.. not one answer like go for it!!!!! you have been through a lot and realized a lot in life so go for it.. go after someone you have strong feelings for and really like!!!!! None of that?? wow.. I dont care to be honest. Im gonna go for her. you only live once god damn it...
aerogurl87 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 You can tell her how you feel, but don't try and break up her relationship with this current guy. If she wants to end it, let her be the one to come to that conclusion on her own.
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