Bogo123 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 So would you rather be sitting at home bored, or go on a date (food and drinks provided) with a guy you're not really into?
USMCHokie Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Actually, the girl I'm seeing now admitted that she got into online dating (that is how we met) because she knew she'd get bored and have more time on her hands since her roommate had found a boyfriend...so I wonder if that's still the case...
bobdole Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I'm sure some women do. I'm also sure some women don't. About as accurate as you can get I think..
kalikula Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Definitely not... Guys on here always act like some women go on dates just to get free food/drink. While a few women might do that (I guess...) I think that's an absolutely ridiculous idea and I would never go on a date with someone I was totally uninterested in just for food or whatever. I don't *like* dates- they're a little awkward- I would only go if I'm actually interested in the guy or wanting to give him a chance.. Not to mention I can feed myself! I'd probably rather stay home and just eat my own food (Food at restaurants are usually high calorie and I'm on a diet). Anyway I'd have a better time hanging out at home- doing what I want to do, etc- than on a date with someone I don't like.
Pfiend101 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Some women do this. They are called "dinner whores".
sugarmomma Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I can buy my own food and drinks. Before going out with someone I'm not interested in I'll call one of my girls and treat her to dinner and drinks. I think women with no class are more likely to waste their time in such a way.
kalikula Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I find that extremely weird. I would much rather be comfortable in my home and eat my own food than go out with someone I'm not interested in for the (probably crappy) restaurant food and drink... I can't imagine that women would be like that unless they have some weird issues or are really poor.
SilentVoice Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Dating when you are bored has to be the worse idea ever.
carhill Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 'Bored' could also mean their boyfriend or husband isn't exactly blowing their skirt up. The word has different meanings to different people. It's not necessarily the literal meaning. 'Break the monotony'.... 'Feel alive'..... 'Go crazy'.... bla, bla....the clear imperative is that whatever they feel is their truth and rational analysis is pointless
jamesum Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) Definitely not... Guys on here always act like some women go on dates just to get free food/drink. Come on, we all know some women do go on dates for free dinners. Maybe it also depends on the culture of where you live. Here in Southern California, not some but TONS of women do that. There is no such a thing as love in this place. There is only money, outer beauty and sex. But I cant blame them. Men who take such women out are usually not the best intentioned kind either. Edited July 20, 2010 by jamesum
Lady vs Panda Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 When on the fence about someone I'll often elect in favor of bright lights and fresh air and company instead of sitting home alone with my thumb up my ***. Sometimes that's how surprising relationships are made. I've never done it for food, though, how amateur-whorish. Nor with someone who was a clear cut Next.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Come on, we all know some women do go on dates for free dinners. Maybe it also depends on the culture of where you live. Here in Southern California, not some but TONS of women do that. There is no such a thing as love in this place. There is only money, outer beauty and sex. But I cant blame them. Men who take such women out are usually not the best intentioned kind either. Give up, and move to Texas or something. Where I live it seems women are not in it just for free food. That doesn't mean they will offer to pay either... but I'm really sure they are genuinely interested in me. I have noticed... without going too far off topic that the women who were born and raised in other countries offer to split the check on the first date... and I had a Filipino girl actually get physical with me to pay the check. I was really offended at first... I thought that meant I had been a crap date, but our 2nd date went really well.
threebyfate Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 LS is the only place where I've ever heard of women going out with strange guys they're not interested in, just to get free food and drinks.
kalikula Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) ^ LOL, Agreed. Come on, we all know some women do go on dates for free dinners. Maybe it also depends on the culture of where you live. Here in Southern California, not some but TONS of women do that. There is no such a thing as love in this place. There is only money, outer beauty and sex. But I cant blame them. Men who take such women out are usually not the best intentioned kind either. Well I live in Northern California and I guess it depends on the quality/shallowness of these "women".. I still think this is a completely ridiculous notion. Most women 18-30s are probably watching what they eat and have to go off their diet a bit to have dinner out.. And have food at home to eat. If they have NO interest then why would they waste their time on an awkward date they're uninterested in? This just puzzles me... Are you also meeting the type of women who go to lunch at Costco and just eat the samples? Edited July 20, 2010 by kalikula
Kamille Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) No, I have never gone out with a guy for free dinner or out of boredom. I might go out with someone I'm not 100% crushing on to get to know them and see if it can go anywhere. -that's how my ex and I got together-. I despise having to tell someone I'm not interested in them, so I avoid those ambiguous situations with a vengeance. I do not like leading guys on. My philosophy is that just because I'm not interested in a guy doesn't mean the next girl won't be crazy about him. So I won't waste his time or mine. LS is the only place where I've ever heard of women going out with strange guys they're not interested in, just to get free food and drinks. I read recently an article about the internet and how it radicalizes beliefs. Basically it goes something like this: Say you believe either women or men are fundamentally jerks. You go on the internet and, sure enough, you find a community of people who also believe women or men are fundamentally jerks. You then get to share your horror stories and establish what the community believes to be "truths". With time and frequentation, you even start to believe the community's truths are "the truth". People can give you real life examples to contradicts your truths, you will refuse to believe them because it goes against your core beliefs and how you make sense of the world. So, for those who believe some women go out on dates out of boredom to get a free meal and drinks, what else is at the root of that belief system? Women can't be trusted? Women are vapid? Women have no interests in establishing real relationships? Women like to take advantage of people? Women have all the power in the dating world? Women are the problem to today's social ills? It's a slippery slope. Edited July 20, 2010 by Kamille
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 So, for those who believe some women go out on dates out of boredom to get a free meal and drinks, what else is at the root of that belief system? Women can't be trusted? Women are vapid? Women have no interests in establishing real relationships? Women like to take advantage of people? Women have all the power in the dating world? Women are the problem to today's social ills? It's a slippery slope. I think your off just a touch. I believe it comes not from women are XYZ... but from a feeling of inadaquecy.
Kamille Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) I think your off just a touch. I believe it comes not from women are XYZ... but from a feeling of inadaquecy. I do think the core issue is a feeling of inadequacy, but I have seen posts on LS where women, or, more specifically, american women, were held to be pretty much all of the things I listed. Dating can be scary and it's normal to worry that the person you're getting to know might not be genuine. But to go from "I feel inadequate" to "we all know that women go out on dates to get free dinner" means there's something else at work here. I believe that something else is ideology. I was pointing out that that ideology can be linked to some other very negative beliefs. Minimally, to a distrust of women's motives. I'm not saying everyone who believes women go out on date to get free meals also believe women are responsible for society's ill, but that it's a slippery slope from one belief to the other. Edited July 20, 2010 by Kamille
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 So would you rather be sitting at home bored, or go on a date (food and drinks provided) with a guy you're not really into? Depends do I owe him sex after the date as well? jk lol NO I wouldn't I can think of better ways to entertain myself for sure..
kickintheaz Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 jeez lads, aren't the cultural differences great... over here we go for coffee or a pint for the first date and if it runs to more than 1 the women are more than willing to share the cost... Dinner might happen by date 3.... or 4..... Dinner is more a 'couples' thing to do rather than a date thing in my experience....(and I'm early 30s, at this for 18 months now after an LTR!) am SOOO glad I am not on your side of the 'pond'...man it'd cost me a fortune on girls I never see again!!!
zengirl Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Just for a free dinner? No. I like cooking better than eating out anyway and am quite happy to make myself some dinner. That's beyond silly. Boredom, as in I rightnow, can'tbealonewithmyself decided to go out with someone I've absolutely no interest in? No. I like being alone with myself (I'm great company). I can re-arrange my iTunes, read a book, cook something, watch Burn Notice or GLEE or whatever. Not to mention I have friends I can call up to chill, but even assuming there is no one else on the planet to hang with, I'm not going to go out on a date with someone I find uninteresting as a person. That's just tedious. What I have done is put myself out there more, to stay busy and avoid boredom: i.e. Joined online dating sites, joined groups, etc. I have given guys a chance that I wasn't initially attracted to, because we could be friends or something could come out of it. I kind of think all socializing starts from boredom and eternal optimism --- I mean, I don't know if someone is awesome or meh when I first meet them (I might have various abilities to gauge them and sometimes have a good idea one way or the other), so I do tend to give people a fair shake if they don't fall too far on the meh side of the scale. I'd rather only socialize with the truly awesome (friends, too, not just dating), but it takes time and life and wisdom to seek out those people and find them. So, yeah, I've been in social situations because of some types boredom, including dates, but not dates I knew were going to be lame and boring from the get-go (because then I'd've be home watching Parks and Recreation instead or something). I also have a policy where I absolutely 100% insist on paying for my share on a date with someone I realize I have no interest in. Even if they insist. Even if they throw back my money at me. If it has to sit there on the floor, I'm not taking it back. (If I like I guy, I toss out the offer, and the ball is in his court, but it doesn't really matter one way or the other.)
Chicago_Guy Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Definitely not... Guys on here always act like some women go on dates just to get free food/drink. While a few women might do that (I guess...) I think that's an absolutely ridiculous idea and I would never go on a date with someone I was totally uninterested in just for food or whatever. I don't *like* dates- they're a little awkward- I would only go if I'm actually interested in the guy or wanting to give him a chance.. Not to mention I can feed myself! I'd probably rather stay home and just eat my own food (Food at restaurants are usually high calorie and I'm on a diet). Anyway I'd have a better time hanging out at home- doing what I want to do, etc- than on a date with someone I don't like. Guys think this because they have actually experienced it. A lot of women absolutely do go on dates just to get free entertainment. Some of them rationalize it by thinking to themselves that they are giving the guy a chance. I have also heard some women say they they are dating to "meet people" and then they go on a date with a guy who ends up paying for a meal or some other entertainment. Women like that have to know that the guys are not just looking to meet people and want something more, otherwise, why else would a guy pay for a meal/entertainment to spend time with a woman he just met?
threebyfate Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 I read recently an article about the internet and how it radicalizes beliefs. Basically it goes something like this: Say you believe either women or men are fundamentally jerks. You go on the internet and, sure enough, you find a community of people who also believe women or men are fundamentally jerks. You then get to share your horror stories and establish what the community believes to be "truths". With time and frequentation, you even start to believe the community's truths are "the truth". People can give you real life examples to contradicts your truths, you will refuse to believe them because it goes against your core beliefs and how you make sense of the world.It's a form of confirmation bias. If you and a few others believe it, it must be true. In believing this, it stops you from figuring out why it's happening to you, if indeed it's happening at all.
carhill Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) The potential can be quite pragmatic as well. Most adult women know how to 'handle' men, so, if one wishes to enjoy a little socializing, what better way than have an interested male plan it, provide it and pay for it, all the while casting an eye out for other interesting males and enjoying one's time socializing. If another potential presents itself, 'we're not together' (this is a common phrase I've heard) and life goes on without a care, or a bill. Rinse and repeat as appropriate. It's wonderfully efficient and economical. Now, if the gentleman requesting the date doesn't pass a minimum attractiveness criteria, or is 'too' attractive, this might impact the 'competition' aspect of getting other men interested, so a lady must be discerning in whose dates she accepts. Enjoy! Edited July 20, 2010 by carhill
jamesum Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) ^ LOL, Agreed. Well I live in Northern California and I guess it depends on the quality/shallowness of these "women".. I still think this is a completely ridiculous notion. Most women 18-30s are probably watching what they eat and have to go off their diet a bit to have dinner out.. And have food at home to eat. If they have NO interest then why would they waste their time on an awkward date they're uninterested in? This just puzzles me... Are you also meeting the type of women who go to lunch at Costco and just eat the samples? Women dont eat on dinner dates in the first place. They just want to be taken to some new and nice restaurant. Its nothing to do about eating at all. Guys think this because they have actually experienced it. A lot of women absolutely do go on dates just to get free entertainment. Some of them rationalize it by thinking to themselves that they are giving the guy a chance. I have also heard some women say they they are dating to "meet people" and then they go on a date with a guy who ends up paying for a meal or some other entertainment. Women like that have to know that the guys are not just looking to meet people and want something more, otherwise, why else would a guy pay for a meal/entertainment to spend time with a woman he just met? Exactly, the guy should just hire an escort instead. Edited July 20, 2010 by jamesum
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