LK30 Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Well I've been single since the beginning of the year, and every time things go wrong I say 'never again,' and then eventually of course I get back out there. I wouldn't say I'm desperate, but missing being with someone - and sometimes this makes me miss my ex girlfriend. I've been on two dates but both didn't work out. To be honest I'm fed up with internet dating and blind dates because I don't think it's the right way to meet someone (I see it as an unnatural and like a job interview!), but opportunities to meet someone in the traditional way just don't seem to happen. I work for a charity and at a conference last year I saw a girl who I thought was beautiful, and who works in another office about 25 miles away. I wish I had chatted to her, but I bottled it! I've heard on the grapevine she has a bf, but the r'ship has run its course. I've never spoken to her, but so tempted to e-mail her and say hi. She probably won't remember me, and knowing my luck she'll tell me to go away, but I have this urge to do it as I want to be more assertive as I am just getting absolutely nowhere in my love life and I just don't know how I can turn things around. Any advice would be appreciated! Cheers, Lee
brokendream Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Just keep getting out there and trying. I know exactly how you feel. It's tough when opportunities don't arise and then if they do you bottle it. You are already involved in charity work so maybe you'll meet someone of similar interests. The more you go out there the more people you will meet. The only reason why you are missing your ex is because you are alone....been there. Do you think you think you will cross paths with the beautiful girl again?
Author LK30 Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 Thanks Brokendream, good advice there. It's shame as I was hoping she'd be at a party last night that a friend in the charity organised but she wasn't there. I'm unlikely to see her until November at the next conference but that's obviously ages away!! I've hinted to my friend about putting a word in, but nothing's come of it. Sometimes I just feel tempted to say 'hey, I think you're really attractive, let me take you for a drink' to her, or even to any girl I see in the shops or walking along the street, but I don't fancy a night in the cells lol!!
brokendream Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Mmmmm I'd play things a bit more cool than that Have you any similar interests, like something to do with her charity work that you could use as an excuse to contact her? The subtle approach would be best here since you don't know her that well.
Mike B. Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Contacting her after months of not seeing her and not even making a move then may count against you. Just try to yourself on the other side of the fence and see yourself as the one receiving that email or message. Wouldn't you wonder why all of a sudden you are being contacted by this person? I am not saying do not do it because we only live once and some things deserve a shot but I am not sure if this is one of those situations. What I will say is don't expect any thing to come of it. You may reek of desperation and it will be tough to pull it off and making plans to to it a few months from now almost assures this as well. Hopefully, you will have found someone by then since that is what you want. Be very careful in these situations. You can easily send unwanted signals without meaning to that will just escape your awareness while they are occurring. Personally, I would not contact her. If her current relationship is on the rocks, you will be rebound at the very least and then you are contacting her after meeting her last year and saying nothing in between all of that time. The odds ain't the best. Hang in there. Maybe if you see her in November you can see what's up with her then but don't count on it. She may not even come or could be pregnant or even married then. Sorry.
Serenitynow Posted July 24, 2010 Posted July 24, 2010 Just keep getting out there and trying. I know exactly how you feel. It's tough when opportunities don't arise and then if they do you bottle it. The more you go out there the more people you will meet. I always roll my eyes when people give this generic "get out there" advice. It has no real value, its simply a way to give the person positive encouragment. But what does "get out there" really mean ? If the guy doesnt go anywhere socially to have a chance at meeting someone, than where is the "there" that you are suggesting ? People say just be yourself and be natural. Well if I never go to coffee shops, or book stores, or such, and you tell me to go hang out there to try meeting a girl, than obviously I'm not being natural because I'm only there to try to meet someone. Its not a natural environment that I go to. I think its just way too easy for people to blanket generic advice over someone but when you slow down and look at it, it really doesnt offer any help at all.
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