AlexiHC Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 So my grandmother on my moms side of the family passed away last january. My mom is very close to her father and was very close to her mother who passed away. Ok now heres where things get twisted. My grandma had a friend who worked at a local deli they frequented. Let me give a little back story, my grandpa is quite wealthy and very nice/generous with his money. Now after my grandma passed away, her friend we'll call her Kristy. Kristy started hanging around my grandfather quite frequently. They started dating, and now my grandpa calls my mom today. They are getting married, less than a year after my grandma passed away. I will not be attending this wedding and will make that very known soon. Is this not messed up? I know she is a gold digger, I can sense it and the fact my grandpa already dropped like 15k to fix her rotted out nasty ass teeth. What can I say to my grandfather about this if anything? I think he is making a huge mistake. I also have 0 respect for his whore of a future wife.
Author AlexiHC Posted July 17, 2010 Author Posted July 17, 2010 ok its not a widow remarrying. Its a widow remarrying his dead wifes best friend less than a year later.
BBG Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 So sorry for you to feel like that. These things does happen. Pity your grandmother but pity your grandfather even more. You guys should've spend more time with your grandfather. He must have not been coping well with losses and separations all these while. Maybe you can try to talk to your grandfather about his previous relationships before your grandmother. He wants to establish an intimate relationship with this lady because that's the way he knows how to deal with his loneliness. Nobody wants to be alone. And at his age, it might be harder to find someone of the same age group. After your talk with your grandfather, make hime realize how much he loves your grandmother back then. He just wants companionship that is why he chose to marry this lady to overcome this obstacle and hopes that everything will be fine. Eventually, your grandfather might not realize that he made a mistake of thinking that the lady can replace his lost love. In the end, it's still your grandfather's choice. Let him decide on what he wants. Make sure that when you talk to him about it, use gentle soothing words and positive feedbacks. Don't get upset at his answers but remind him on his love for your grandmother. There's never an appropriate time for people to get over death. It's all up to themselves to know. Good luck
crimsonmike Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 ok its not a widow remarrying. Its a widow remarrying his dead wifes best friend less than a year later. Who are you to tell him who and when he can remarry? I figure they are close to the same age or you would have brought that up. Maybe he was lonely and she makes him happy, God forbid.
TouchedByViolet Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I don't think their is much you can do. Even if this lady who is marrying your grandapa is as terrible as you say, your grandpa will most likely do whatever he wants. It is his life and he is allowed to make all the good and bad decisions he wants. On a potentially positive note, try to convince him to setup a prenup to make sure she doesn't take a lot of money if things go sour. I have grown up with my share of blood sucking family members that have taken many things from me and other good family members. I have learned to simply cut ties when possible and live with the rest.
tigressA Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Who are you to tell him who and when he can remarry? I figure they are close to the same age or you would have brought that up. Maybe he was lonely and she makes him happy, God forbid. Agreed. If she really is a gold digger, then he'll probably figure it out at some point. It's really not your business how he moves on; it's his life. You have every right to not attend the wedding if that's what you want to do, but I think if you want to maintain any sort of cordial relationship with your grandfather then you should suck it up, attend, and make an effort to be at least surface-polite to his future wife whenever she's around.
bac Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Sorry to hear that it hurt your feelings. In fact, it is not unusual among men of any age in the situation.
Author AlexiHC Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 ok forgot i made this post on here, the chick he is marrying is 46, he is 67. I forgot to include that in the original post. My whole family sees my grandpa all the time, like every few days. I just think its a little messed up and that my grandpa is getting used. My grandmother that passed away was the only serious relationship he has had, they were together for over 40 years
Thorgs Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I bet he has her sign a prenump. If not, mention it to him and have him mention it to her and see how she reacts. Her reaction will show if she's a gold digger or not.
Author AlexiHC Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 ya right lol my grandpa is old fashioned, he would probly get offended if I ever brought those words up
phineas Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 so, your pissed he'll spend your inheritance on her?
Author AlexiHC Posted July 19, 2010 Author Posted July 19, 2010 lol no I could care less about money, I prefer to do things on my own and have never taken a dime from him. He offered to pay for my college and I told him no
sugarmomma Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 maybe your beloved grandma was one of these sexually withholding and frigid "good women" we hear so much about, maybe grandpa finally gets to have some good lovin' after all these years. Virgin, really not necessary to talk about OP deceased grandmother whom you know nothing about. OP, try to be happy for your GP if this lady makes him happy. If she is a golddigger hopefully he will see it before its too late however that is up to him, not you. I would be happy if my gp found a new love after losing his spouse.
2sure Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 If this woman was your beloved grandmother's best friend....do you really think your grandmother would have such a great friendship with a whore? Thats saying quite a bit . Isnt it more likely that the two women, like most good friends, shared similar views, values, and interests? And that your grandfather sees this and respects it? When people are older they do not wait long to remarry if they find a companionable partner simply because they do not have that long to wait. Who better than someone you already know, someone who is familiar with you, someone whose company you enjoy and who understands your grief?
WalkInThePark Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 ok forgot i made this post on here, the chick he is marrying is 46, he is 67. I forgot to include that in the original post. My whole family sees my grandpa all the time, like every few days. I just think its a little messed up and that my grandpa is getting used. My grandmother that passed away was the only serious relationship he has had, they were together for over 40 years These things often happen. Your grandpa has been a married man for all of his adult life so when he lost his wife, he was extremely vulnerable. He is also from a generation where a lot of people still were very traditional when it came to who did what in a marriage. So being on his own was a totally new situation which apart from the loss of his beloved wife was deeply troubling him. In that case, he might have fallen in love with the first woman who was a bit nice to him, cooked him a meal, gave him a smile. I have also heard that apparently there are women who chase guys who have become a widower. The lady in question might be that type. The fact that she is so much younger than him points in that direction. I will be 46 at the end of this year and there is no way that I would ever get married with a guy 21 years my senior. With all respect, but I am not going to marry a man who could have been the husband of my mother. It seems so odd to me. I can understand your grief and your worries in this scenario. It all seems to go too quickly. Unfortunately your grandpa is an adult and a free man so if he wants to marry that lady he will do it. If I were you, I would talk about all this to your mam and ask her to gently point out the importance of a prenup to your grandpa. Unlike what some others here think, I don't think there is only your inheritance that you should worry about. Your grandpa would not be the first guy who goes bankrupt because of some woman he married in a hurry after having become a widower.
aerogurl87 Posted July 19, 2010 Posted July 19, 2010 Well your grandpa is an adult who can make adult decisions. If he wants to drop a fortune on his new fiance, then so be it. Go to the wedding, smile and be polite for your grandfather's sake. Who knows maybe he's actually happy with her. And maybe your grandmother would be happy knowing her best friend is his new wife. Someone she herself trusted and confided in, and not just some random chick off the street.
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