Mraffectionate Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 I met up with a girl at a wedding. She was from the other side of the family but knew a lot of people I personally know. So I had to take caution not doing something stupid. I called her the next day because I was traveling for a week after. no pickup. She txted me 3 days after. I told her i'll be back friday and setup a date. Went to this fancy restaurant, had desert and drinks. It went very well, till we went outside to walk. I realized I was a bit tipsy a little to late. First I tried giving her a compliment and kissing her and she was too shy. Then I was being too affectionate, right off the bat... I realized it right away and told her I realize I am tipsy now because I am trying to be too touchy touchy and laughed about it. I decided to end it ASAP. walked her to her car and thought I could kiss her and failed again. note: i'll be seeing her again at different events... Here's my two questions. A) Is it recoverable? B) What do I do next? txt her an apology?
Bogo123 Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 No don't apologize. Just let it cool off by not contacting her for a while. hopefully she'll forget about what happened and than you reinitiate with a clean slate.
Art_Critic Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 You really haven't done anything to apologize for but you were on the very edge of it though. That being said..nobody wants to kiss someone who is drunk. She won't forget it.. so try and set up another date and for gawds sake don't drink any alcohol on dates.. Why on earth people think getting drunk on a first date makes a great first impression is beyond me.. I would think one drink to loosen things up on a first date is all anybody should need, any more just provides a terrible impression. Wait a few days and try to schedule another date.. if she blows you off then you have your answer on the recoverability.
Author Mraffectionate Posted July 17, 2010 Author Posted July 17, 2010 (edited) Thats what I would normally do but this is a different situation because I will be seeing her again and at family events I was thinking of just msg her I apologize for bring to forward last night. I had a great time. Hope we can do this again. Edited July 17, 2010 by Mraffectionate
hopesndreams Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 If she likes you, it's recoverable. If she doesn't like you that much, then it isn't. Contact her by calling her to feel her out.
zengirl Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 If you see her at events and such, just act normal. If you want to ask her out again, call her and ask her out. If she says yes, go out and don't drink anything. A lot of whether or not it is recoverable will be things that can't be answered here: *How does she feel about the drinking. *How much did she like you anyway. *How sloppy were you, really. (You can't be sure, because you were drinking.)
ratingsguy Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 A little too much alcohol on a first date is a no-no and should generally be avoided... but I won't be preachy, because I think you realize this now. Learn from this mistake. My advice is to play it cool. Be passively cordial to her at these events, but DO NOT apologize for anything. Bringing attention to what happened could ruin your chance at getting a second date. If you do get a second date, continue to play it cool. If you pick up on the fact that she's starting to like you, then I would say something along the lines of, "Remember our first date? I was a little embarassed that I was kind of tipsy. Thanks for not holding it against me." This way you show remorse, but at the same time allow yourself to retain some dignity. Apologizing for something that happened on a first date, even if the apology is deserved, basically reminds her what happened, and you don't want to do that. It's just a first date, so if it doesn't work out, oh well. There will be plenty more. Save the apologies for a relationship, but not when dating. You could be dead in the water anyway, so why risk it?
sugarmomma Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Thats what I would normally do but this is a different situation because I will be seeing her again and at family events I was thinking of just msg her I apologize for bring to forward last night. I had a great time. Hope we can do this again. I think you should acknowledge that you were being forward and apologize. She forgives you and may or may not go out with you again. At least you had enough integrity to apologize either way it goes. I would consider a second date with you if you apologized. But is you just tried to ignore it and let things smooth over I would think you might do it again.
Author Mraffectionate Posted July 18, 2010 Author Posted July 18, 2010 First, I'd like to say you guys are really great. I really appreciate your insight and comments. I am thinking of calling her on Wednesday, letting her know I'll be back in town Thursday and invite her to an activity like Zip-line, Go-Carting or Amusement park for the weekend. If she agrees and it goes well I can apologise in a nice way like how ratingsguy put it. My only two concerns are, if she doesn't pick up do I leave a voicemail/Txt? and if she declines the offer, do I play it cool and say I am out with my buddies there if you change your mind let me know.
hopesndreams Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 Yes, leave a voicemail. If she declines, she declines. No reason to mention your buddies or if she changes her mind bit.
Mike B. Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I would avoid anything in a voicemail besides telling who you are and that you will call back later and wait for at least another day to call. Give her time to call you back and if she does, she will more likely be interested in another date but if you call again and get the voicemail, I wouldn't leave a message. Most phones have caller ID these days, she will know you called the second time without a message and if she is interested, will call you back, if not, I would move on. The first date is, of course, the worst date to screw up and hardest to recover from.
You'reasian Posted July 18, 2010 Posted July 18, 2010 I met up with a girl at a wedding. She was from the other side of the family but knew a lot of people I personally know. So I had to take caution not doing something stupid. I called her the next day because I was traveling for a week after. no pickup. She txted me 3 days after. I told her i'll be back friday and setup a date. Went to this fancy restaurant, had desert and drinks. It went very well, till we went outside to walk. I realized I was a bit tipsy a little to late. First I tried giving her a compliment and kissing her and she was too shy. Then I was being too affectionate, right off the bat... I realized it right away and told her I realize I am tipsy now because I am trying to be too touchy touchy and laughed about it. I decided to end it ASAP. walked her to her car and thought I could kiss her and failed again. note: i'll be seeing her again at different events... Here's my two questions. A) Is it recoverable? B) What do I do next? txt her an apology? Leave it be for a while. Give her three to four days to let it wash away, then contact her to see how she's doing. If she continues to show interest, you have effectively recovered. Next time work at observing non-verbal cues but don't be so studious; be in the moment with her.
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