LoveBites Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 (edited) Me and this one girl hit it off after meeting and texted each other a ton for 3 weeks. (Probably 25-75 texts a day). We dated 3 times each ending with a goodbye kiss and cuddled during the movie. Well after the last date, we kinda just randomly stopped texting. 2 weeks later we finally texted a little bit after her intitiation. I asked her if she wanted to hang out and she said she was really busy that week. The next week she was on vacation and the next 2 weeks she had to work overtime to make up for the money she lost during vacation. So during that month we texted less and less and now it came to a stopping point (2 weeks now). I want to ask to out ONE more time but I don't know how I should do it? Should I just send a text that just says "Hey! It's been a long time, we should hang out!" or should I try to start a convo and then casually drop to lets hang out line. I prefer the starting a convo but I just cant think of a good convo starter right now. Is the first option I posted way to awkward? Any good convo starters?! Edited July 13, 2010 by LoveBites
Bogo123 Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Girls are emotional so you gotta catch her when she's feeling good. Text her some funny/flirty stuff and then go for the ask out. You'll better your chances this way instead of just straight asking for a date.
Author LoveBites Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 Yeah, that is what I want to do. But any suggestions on some stuff to say? Remember, I haven't talked to her in 2 weeks and I dont want to make it awkward. I am thinking something like "hey stranger! wanna meet up this week?"
samspade Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 You wayyy over-texted and she got bored. Texting is a dangerous game to get roped into. Not that I think it's bad or wrong, far from it. But when a girl is amping up her texts to you, it means she's really into you, as this girl was. But when you respond in kind, or more than her, it starts to numb the interest in her mind. Suddenly you're available to her 24/7. You're not even giving her a chance to enjoy the THOUGHT of you. And this is what helps build interest and romance for a woman - thinking about you and what you might be doing. Constant texting removes any mystery from her mind. I know it seems unfair because she probably initiated a lot of texts. She isn't trying to sabotage anything, trust me. I think she really liked you and perhaps still does. Just remember this little rule, especially in courtship: Always return 2/3 of what she gives to you. Texts, calls, kisses, kind words. It would be peachy if romance were an equal give/get dance, but that is simply not the case. So if she texts you two times in a row, wait a few minutes, think about your response and send one. Now, for your plan: I recommend you give it a rest. You've already tried pushing her for another date, and she's given a litany of excuses not to go out with you. She's not too busy - her interest level in you has simply dropped. When a woman says she has other plans, and ESPECIALLY if she doesn't offer another night as an alternative, it means she doesn't want to go out with you. Asking her out one more time is going to kill your chances, counter-intuitive though it may seem. Your better option is to go radio silent for a while. She may text or call to feel you out. Take your time getting back to her. YOU be the busy one. Go on other dates, or give the vague impression that you are. She may never show interest again, but the only way to salvage her is to pull back a little. Which brings me to another golden rule: In any relationship, your most important weapon is your attention, or lack thereof. This will serve you better than winning any argument, or engaging in any one-upsmanship, mind games, or ***** tests with a woman. Good luck man.
Author LoveBites Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 You wayyy over-texted and she got bored. Texting is a dangerous game to get roped into. Not that I think it's bad or wrong, far from it. But when a girl is amping up her texts to you, it means she's really into you, as this girl was. But when you respond in kind, or more than her, it starts to numb the interest in her mind. Suddenly you're available to her 24/7. You're not even giving her a chance to enjoy the THOUGHT of you. And this is what helps build interest and romance for a woman - thinking about you and what you might be doing. Constant texting removes any mystery from her mind. I know it seems unfair because she probably initiated a lot of texts. She isn't trying to sabotage anything, trust me. I think she really liked you and perhaps still does. Just remember this little rule, especially in courtship: Always return 2/3 of what she gives to you. Texts, calls, kisses, kind words. It would be peachy if romance were an equal give/get dance, but that is simply not the case. So if she texts you two times in a row, wait a few minutes, think about your response and send one. Now, for your plan: I recommend you give it a rest. You've already tried pushing her for another date, and she's given a litany of excuses not to go out with you. She's not too busy - her interest level in you has simply dropped. When a woman says she has other plans, and ESPECIALLY if she doesn't offer another night as an alternative, it means she doesn't want to go out with you. Asking her out one more time is going to kill your chances, counter-intuitive though it may seem. Your better option is to go radio silent for a while. She may text or call to feel you out. Take your time getting back to her. YOU be the busy one. Go on other dates, or give the vague impression that you are. She may never show interest again, but the only way to salvage her is to pull back a little. Which brings me to another golden rule: In any relationship, your most important weapon is your attention, or lack thereof. This will serve you better than winning any argument, or engaging in any one-upsmanship, mind games, or ***** tests with a woman. Good luck man. Great advice! I understand what you are saying and yes I think that is what happened. One thing though is she is from a different city that is 30 minutes away. So its not like we would randomly see each other in public.... I am kinda worried that if I never ask her out again then I will never see her again... so what is there to lose if I lose her now by getting blown off again vs losing her by never seeing her?
Feelin Frisky Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Yet another reason not to follow the lemmings into the world of texting. Make believe you don't know what that is. It may make your potential g/f's wnat to actually chase or at least see you. Texting is like chicken-shi+ unloading which gets to be a pestering pain in the azz after just about as long as you did it. Now you've ben dispenced with. Man up and find a nice date idea and call her. If she's over you, you'll know what the answer is. Learn this lesson and live it---there's a big unspoken power dynamic of chaser and chasee. Texting, destroys it.
samspade Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Great advice! I understand what you are saying and yes I think that is what happened. One thing though is she is from a different city that is 30 minutes away. So its not like we would randomly see each other in public.... I am kinda worried that if I never ask her out again then I will never see her again... so what is there to lose if I lose her now by getting blown off again vs losing her by never seeing her? Like I said, you stand a better chance of hearing from her if you DON'T talk to her for a spell. And I know it sounds tough but you have to accept the possibility that you might not see her again. Always accept this and never fear it. When you start fearing that you'll "lose" someone then you start acting irrationally and desperately, with terrible results. When a man knows he'll be all right with or without any one female, he's in a much better place. Try to embrace this mentality.
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