Gold Pile Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 (edited) Some time ago I found an 18 gallon plastic tote in the parking lot of a local park. It had a creepy vibe, but I overcame my fears and opened it (always hoping to find that box of money). I was horrified to find it was full of human hair:sick:. Not barber/beauty shop sweepings of random lengths and misc colors, but all long black hair. Had I found the bounty of a hair thief or worse the trophies of a serial killer? I brought it to the police dept. The jaded cops didn't think much of it, and they mocked me when I suggested they take DNA samples. Thursday the cops called to say the property wasn't claimed and that I was now the lawful owner of a box of hair. This cop was helpful, he said that the hair was probably from India, Indian hair was popular in wigs and had a market value. I posted it for sale Thursday evening...$50. Friday afternoon I had a dozen emails from an assortment of exotic, wondrous, beautiful names. Sheniqua, Lififa, Oneekqua, Lexus, and Velveeta. One name stood out "Na", I knew her name from local advertising, she was the attractive proprietor of a local hair/nail spa. She was Asian but this has nothing to do with my quest for a Chinese servant(with benefits). I called and offered that I'd sell it to her if she joined me for for an early dinner at XYZ99 right next to her shop. I told her how attractive she was in her advertising. She was a wonderful date, always smiling and happy. She spoke an appealing broken English, but understood my (sometimes arcane) vocabulary very well. She planned to resell the hair to a hair-weeve place. Being a business woman, she got me down to $40 for the hair. Back at her shop (a gentleman always carries a box of hair for a lady) we said our goodbyes. I asked if she would be up for lunch and a movie sometime. She smiled and said she was married "so you maybe have to go F%@K yourself". She never stopped smiling and added "goodbye, nice to meet you, thank you for dinner". I'm not sure how to take that. Edited July 11, 2010 by Gold Pile
Predator04 Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 Well Im sure you want a simple answer. SHES MARRIED. Nuff Said!
Art_Critic Posted July 11, 2010 Posted July 11, 2010 At least you didn't pick the one who was named "queffa" I think she was the original owner of the lost hair GP...
Author Gold Pile Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 At least you didn't pick the one who was named "queffa" I think she was the original owner of the lost hair GP... Luffa seemed hot;)
Shakz Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 At least you didn't pick the one who was named "queffa" I think she was the original owner of the lost hair GP... Actually, this phenomenon has been sweeping the world. A young boy found a box of long black hair at a playground in Melbourne. An elerly woman discovered a similar package outside her Sun City residence. A Frenchman found a box-worth of hair in in his Paris shower drain. M. Knight Shyamalan could not be reached for comment.
desertmoon Posted July 12, 2010 Posted July 12, 2010 assortment of exotic, wondrous, beautiful names. Sheniqua, Lififa, Oneekqua, Lexus, and Velveeta. LOL!!!!:lmao::lmao:!!!!! seriously...! I do not know why I am ROFLMAO!!!!! She smiled and said she was married "so you maybe have to go F%@K yourself". She never stopped smiling and added "goodbye, nice to meet you, thank you for dinner". I'm not sure how to take that. Take it like a man who has been owned! How much was the dinner? I hope it was less than 40 bucks! Anyway, so I take it you haven't found your "Chinese servant(with benefits)"? You are too funny, Gold Pile!
Author Gold Pile Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 LOL!!!!:lmao::lmao:!!!!! seriously...! I do not know why I am ROFLMAO!!!!! Take it like a man who has been owned! How much was the dinner? I hope it was less than 40 bucks! Anyway, so I take it you haven't found your "Chinese servant(with benefits)"? You are too funny, Gold Pile! Hi desert...thank you! Wth tip the dinner was almost $40, but at least I ate more than half. I've zero'd in on a certain Chinese lady. We have fun dates and she is UP for the live in servant deal, but she hasn't slept with me yet. I need to sample her delights before this situation moves to the next stage.
Author Gold Pile Posted July 12, 2010 Author Posted July 12, 2010 a Frenchman found a box-worth of hair in in his Paris shower drain yeek I hear they don't shave body hair over there.
sam light Posted July 14, 2010 Posted July 14, 2010 my (sometimes arcane) vocabulary Like using the word "arcane" for example ?
Author Gold Pile Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I think she likes you. Ask her out again.lol, I don't think so. (unless I find another box of hair)
Curt Posted July 15, 2010 Moderators Posted July 15, 2010 I think that if you DO find another box of hair and ask her out again, make sure that SHE pays for dinner, as well as the hair. At least then you'll have more than broken even. Curt
Author Gold Pile Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I think that if you DO find another box of hair and ask her out again, make sure that SHE pays for dinner, as well as the hair. At least then you'll have more than broken even. Curt Hi Curt, clearly I under-priced the hair. I feel kind of used:confused:
Mary3 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I thought you title : ' Hairy Date " meant that she didn't shave somewhere important
Author Gold Pile Posted July 17, 2010 Author Posted July 17, 2010 I thought you title : ' Hairy Date " meant that she didn't shave somewhere important yeeeeeek:sick: But some hair is a good thing.
Mary3 Posted July 17, 2010 Posted July 17, 2010 yeeeeeek:sick: But some hair is a good thing. You mean a * landing strip * is nice ?
Author Gold Pile Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 You mean a * landing strip * is nice ? Wider coverage than a landing strip... a between the legs triangle of hair, not real short (coarse) and not too long (makes whistling thru the woods a hassle)
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