SoccerPlaya Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 In the couple few months I finally broke it off with my ex because he wasn't willing to step it up in our relationship. It's been SO hard to cut off contact because I still care for him and would love to be together but I know he hasn't changed. What makes it harder is that he keeps trying to "check in" with me, which is probably just an attempt to make HIMSELF feel better about the whole situation. But I digress. Anyway now I am having a really difficult time with dating other people. He was the first person I ever really cared for and I can't even imagine liking anyone else. I know it's naive to think "there is no one else in this world for me" but I can't help but FEEL that way. I tried dating one guy but it just made me miss my ex even more. At first I thought this feeling would fade but it has been about 2 and a half months since we officially broke up and I still feel this way Has anyone been through this and do you have any words of wisdom or hope?
sloudrou Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Two points. First of all, why did he need to "step it up"? What was the hurry if you had a good thing going? The way you feel now shows that you liked him and accepted him for who he was, why did you want him to change and become a different person? Secondly, you can go no contact if you really want to. You can block his IM, email, phone number, facebook etc. I think you need to make a decision about whether you REALLY want to end it or not. If so, just block EVERY means he has of contacting you, and delete any means you have of contacting him and resolve to never speak to him again. If not, then accept him for who he is (i.e. the guy who attracted you in the first place), accept his imperfections and deal with them.
aerogurl87 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 two points. First of all, why did he need to "step it up"? What was the hurry if you had a good thing going? The way you feel now shows that you liked him and accepted him for who he was, why did you want him to change and become a different person? Secondly, you can go no contact if you really want to. You can block his im, email, phone number, facebook etc. I think you need to make a decision about whether you really want to end it or not. If so, just block every means he has of contacting you, and delete any means you have of contacting him and resolve to never speak to him again. If not, then accept him for who he is (i.e. The guy who attracted you in the first place), accept his imperfections and deal with them. ^^^ great advice ^^^^
frenchgirl Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 The first cut is the deepest. Hang in there. You'll eventually meet somebody else that will make your heart race.
Author SoccerPlaya Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 Two points. First of all, why did he need to "step it up"? What was the hurry if you had a good thing going? The way you feel now shows that you liked him and accepted him for who he was, why did you want him to change and become a different person? Secondly, you can go no contact if you really want to. You can block his IM, email, phone number, facebook etc. I think you need to make a decision about whether you REALLY want to end it or not. If so, just block EVERY means he has of contacting you, and delete any means you have of contacting him and resolve to never speak to him again. If not, then accept him for who he is (i.e. the guy who attracted you in the first place), accept his imperfections and deal with them. Thanks. Unfortunately things are not going to work out between us, at least not now. He doesn't know what he's doing with his life and he was so hot and cold in our relationship. One week would be great and the next would be bad and then back to great again... It drove me crazy. The night we broke up he even admitted that he wasn't being fair to me. I've finally come to terms that I need to stay away. We haven't talked for over a month (I've gotten texts but I ignore them). I think he too is starting to let go, which hurts but I know it's the right thing. But now even the thought of dating makes me sick! Mostly because those old feelings won't go away.
Author SoccerPlaya Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 The first cut is the deepest. Hang in there. You'll eventually meet somebody else that will make your heart race. Gosh I almost started crying at that....I really need to pull it together. Thanks for the support
sloudrou Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Thanks. Unfortunately things are not going to work out between us, at least not now. He doesn't know what he's doing with his life and he was so hot and cold in our relationship. One week would be great and the next would be bad and then back to great again... It drove me crazy. The night we broke up he even admitted that he wasn't being fair to me. I've finally come to terms that I need to stay away. We haven't talked for over a month (I've gotten texts but I ignore them). I think he too is starting to let go, which hurts but I know it's the right thing. But now even the thought of dating makes me sick! Mostly because those old feelings won't go away. Then don't think of dating. Think about doing something else and just having a good time on your own. There is no imperative to date anyone or even think about dating anyone. Life expectancies are at an all time high, so there will be plenty of time for that later. I got burned recently too, and right now dating ANYONE is the furthest thing from my mind. Just block his texts and calls, and move on.
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