emely Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Had a bit discussion yesterday with some friends, both men and women. A guy said that guys don't really ever see girls as friends? This hurt me a bit since one of my very very best friends from about 15 yrs is a guy. But my other male friend said that there is no chance that he won't have stronger feelings? I mean, is this true? And it that case, should you worry then if your boyfriend has chicks as friends? I didn't think I had to? What u guys say?
Serenitynow Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Do you seriously think every single guy in the world thinks exactly the same ? Now, do you think every women thinks the same too ? The answer is NO not everyone thinks the same. Your question is impossible to answer with a blanket response that applies to all guys
aerogurl87 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I think some people are able to have friends of the opposite sex that they strictly see as platonic friends. The same people may not be able to see others of the opposite sex as just friends. So the conclusion is that you can't come to a general consensus and it's based on the person and the other person whom they call their friend.
JoJola Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I have have several male friends; they are only friends and always will be just that. One of them I lived with as a roomie for over a year; during that time I had a boyfriend and he meet the woman he is married too. So, I would say yes it is possilbe
m-j Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 alot of people have "chemistry" with their friends....i guess then you need to make a decision whether to act on it or not. otherwise things get messy.
sally4sara Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 There are some men who can''t really see women as friends. Its okay though because you wouldn't want a man like that as a friend. Or anything else for that matter.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Can men see women purely as friends? Sure. Friends who they'd gladly sleep with if given the opportunity.
Cracker Jack Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Kiss and Makeup's post is on the money:laugh: But on a serious note, I have several women who are very close friends. I ain't gonna lie--I had women friends who I eventually developed a thing for, and was even with one of them (My best friend) for a good while, also. However, this isn't always taking place in an opposite sex friendship. It varies. So yes, men can be friends with women.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Do you seriously think every single guy in the world thinks exactly the same ? Now, do you think every women thinks the same too ? The answer is NO not everyone thinks the same. Your question is impossible to answer with a blanket response that applies to all guys This forum would cease to exist if everyone were as discerning as you (and me). But what's even a friend? Personally, I find that there are females I like and trust but I wouldn't think of them as a friend, That's a Facebook friend--a crock of **** to pump up your dillusion of popularity. I had a girl I knew from chilhood and I was her brother's best friend until he commited suicide (nothing to do with me or her.) She would send me e-mails saying we should hang out and this and that and I did a few times with her in recent years. But I always thought her a beauty and was told by others (mistakingly apparently) that she had interst in me. As soon as I disclosed that I always had this secret sort of feeling for her, she took it way out of proportion and told me that she makes men miserable and blah, blah, blah. I got pissed. I was just being honest about ancient history but I had been to lunch with her on Wall St. in NYC a few time at upscale places and all she seemed to want to do was be seen with me but look around for who else she knew so she'd be sure to get their attention. I had no hopes and wrote off any dillusions years before but all the crap I heard at mention of my long held appreciation of her look rankled me. I thought to myself, why the hell does she keep contacting me a couple of times a year to have dinner or something? Having female friends is horsepucky. Having female aquaintances that are married and stable is a good thing but that doesn't make them a real friend. I don't even think my male buds are real friends--none would drop what they're doing if my life wre at peril. "Freind" is as ambiguous as all men versus all women having anything more than narrow judgement.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 I think this also comes down to a big difference between men and women. And again, this is in general, there are always exceptions. Men can desire sex from a woman without desiring a romantic relationship with her. This is less common among women. So while a man might have a female friend whom he does not desire a long-term romantic relationship with, that doesn't necessarily mean he wouldn't have sex with her if the opportunity presented itself. When a woman has a male friend whom she doesn't desire a long-term romantic relationship with, it's likely that she also has no desire for a sexual encounter with him. Again, these are generalizations, in fact I am myself somewhat of an outlier from them.
Morals Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 This forum would cease to exist if everyone were as discerning as you (and me). But what's even a friend? Personally, I find that there are females I like and trust but I wouldn't think of them as a friend, That's a Facebook friend--a crock of **** to pump up your dillusion of popularity. I had a girl I knew from chilhood and I was her brother's best friend until he commited suicide (nothing to do with me or her.) She would send me e-mails saying we should hang out and this and that and I did a few times with her in recent years. But I always thought her a beauty and was told by others (mistakingly apparently) that she had interst in me. As soon as I disclosed that I always had this secret sort of feeling for her, she took it way out of proportion and told me that she makes men miserable and blah, blah, blah. I got pissed. I was just being honest about ancient history but I had been to lunch with her on Wall St. in NYC a few time at upscale places and all she seemed to want to do was be seen with me but look around for who else she knew so she'd be sure to get their attention. I had no hopes and wrote off any dillusions years before but all the crap I heard at mention of my long held appreciation of her look rankled me. I thought to myself, why the hell does she keep contacting me a couple of times a year to have dinner or something? Having female friends is horsepucky. Having female aquaintances that are married and stable is a good thing but that doesn't make them a real friend. I don't even think my male buds are real friends--none would drop what they're doing if my life wre at peril. "Freind" is as ambiguous as all men versus all women having anything more than narrow judgement. I probably couldn't have said it better myself. While I hope this isn't true, there are hardly any "true" friends out there. Most of the time friendships are just people who keep in touch with you so if they need something from you, they can get it; whether that is a shoulder to cry on, sex, someone to help move, someone to have beers with when they are lonely, someone to improve their status, someone to help them find a job, etc etc Real friends are hard to come back, and in some cases I think non-existant. The thing is, all friendships wax and wane. Some of them are friends for a short time, weeks, months. Some are friends for a long time, years. And some, very very rarely, are friends for life. Usually most people only met one of these in their life....and then they marry them. So having a friend for life that you don't marry is a true treasure.
Engadget Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 I have had girl-friends, and do right now. Although I'd probably sleep with them all, and I know a couple would sleep with me I've chosen to preserve the friendship at the cost of sexual gratification.
Green Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Lets use KEN and BARBIE as an example. Well if they hang out JUST THE TWO OF THEM at a minimum that means KEN thinks BARBIE is hot enough to spend his time on. He probably wants to have sex with her. If you consider this a friendship at this point then YES men and women can be friends, but if you think that because KEN wants more they are not friends then that is your answer. A guy will not spend ALONE time with a girl who he does not find attractive.
pandagirl Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 It may be rare, but there are male/female FRIENDSHIP that are completely platonic. I only know of one though, and they are still best friends, even though they are both married to others. My boyfriend has about an equal amount of female and male friends. He is friends with exes, and I'm sure some of the girls he befriended in grad school he found attracted and would've slept with them if the opportunity presented itself. But for some reason, it doesn't bother me. He's with me, I've met his female friends and it's fine. I once asked him though why he had a lot of female friends and he said: "I don't know, a part of me finds it easier to be friends with women. Maybe it's because I grew up with two sisters that I am really close to." Interesting point.
Green Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 It may be rare, but there are male/female FRIENDSHIP that are completely platonic. I only know of one though, and they are still best friends, even though they are both married to others. My boyfriend has about an equal amount of female and male friends. He is friends with exes, and I'm sure some of the girls he befriended in grad school he found attracted and would've slept with them if the opportunity presented itself. But for some reason, it doesn't bother me. He's with me, I've met his female friends and it's fine. I once asked him though why he had a lot of female friends and he said: "I don't know, a part of me finds it easier to be friends with women. Maybe it's because I grew up with two sisters that I am really close to." Interesting point. If he goes out to dinners, or hangs out at their places just the two of them HE IS CHEATING. If its just like a facebook friend, or some one he is friendly with at the parties you guys go to then thats fine.
Nuprin Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Two Words: GAY MEN. They are every woman's best friend. So yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and women and men can be friends.
pandagirl Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 If he goes out to dinners, or hangs out at their places just the two of them HE IS CHEATING. If its just like a facebook friend, or some one he is friendly with at the parties you guys go to then thats fine. haha. No, these are girls I've hung out with, with him there. He is also friends with many of his exes. Which also should maybe be a red flag, but for whatever reason, it doesn't bother me.
aerogurl87 Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Two Words: GAY MEN. They are every woman's best friend. So yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and women and men can be friends. LOL so freaking true.
aerogurl87 Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 As I said before it can happen but is rare for the most part. My boyfriend is best friends with one of his ex girlfriends whom I've met and you can see they have zero interest in one another. My ex and I are "friends", if you can even call it that. I have no interest in dating him again, but he'd sleep with me if we were in the same room in a heartbeat although he has a girlfriend.
threebyfate Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 I've come to the conclusion that it has to do with the age of the guy and girl, how long they've known each other and if they honestly have common interests to talk about beyond gossiping about their mutual friends or bitching and whining about their SOs. If all criteria are met, yes, mature men and women can be friends.
Shakz Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Is it possible to appear outwardly gay, but to be inwarldly straight? For centuries men have done the opposite, so it stands to reason.
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