Wife had 2 EAs.. 8 month update

[b0rk]

Hi,

 

Update to this thread (over 60 days old so can't post):

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=206683

 

Perhaps interesting to update this thread 8 months on.

 

After she left the first thing I had to do was build up a brand new friendship group... unfortunately she manipulated 'our' friends round to her side .

 

I just started doing whatever I could to meet some new people and was very lucky to meet some really cool girls. Two months later and it's Christmas eve, I'm putting on a big meal, and everyone is having a good time .

 

In the interim I also visited Thailand and went to Pattaya. For those of you who don't know about this place it's like Disneyworld for adults. For those of you with preconceptions about the place you are likely to be wrong. I imagine in the west working girls have a really bad time. Anyone could show up at the door and the meeting is a fleeting hour.

 

Thailand is so very different and any arrangement you make with a girl is 100% mutually agreeable. Guys get turned down all the time by the girls for all manner of reasons. Going there as a young guy you really are treated like a rockstar!

 

Needless to say after 2-3 years of very little sex I frankly had a lot of ground to cover. For the first week there were 3-soms, 4-soms, girls, ladyboys, you name it I probably did it . Second week I fancied something more relaxed so took a couple of real stunning girls away to one of the backpacker islands (Koh Phi Phi). Had a brilliant time diving, snorkelling, partying on the beach every night, etc .

 

This was just what I needed to make me realise how screwed up things were with my wife.

 

Fast forward a little bit and I'm still building those friendships and things are going well all round. Then around 3 months ago I think things got derailed.

 

Firstly I went on secondment to another project for work.. this meant living away from home during the week meaning my health and wealth suffered slightly. I took in a lodger and while she's a good girl we don't quite 'click' and I feel slightly nervous around her. This meant at the weekends I was tired with my friends and didn't really have any girls back at mine (anyone I meet is told flat that a LT relationship is out of the question...).

 

After that I flew out to Thailand again for 3 weeks... had a truly brilliant time... mindblowing... but caught tonsillitis near the start that knocked me for six a little bit. On returning to England I pick up yet another job and it's stressful as hell. Genuinely never experienced anything like it before. Add to that that my tonsillitis is recurring and my health, wealth, mental stability, and stress levels are all way below par.

 

So this weekend I'm just feeling a bit bleh and questioning if splitting up was the right decision. I still think it is and it's just recent circumstance that is leading me to question. She's found a new boyfriend and is moving in together with him. I genuinely wish him the best of luck because he'll need it. She's doing loads of things now I always asked her to do... going to festivals, gigs etc. Thing is I know that's not really her so I think she's putting on an act with him. Then again maybe he just knows how to handle her.. who knows.

 

Anyhow I need to pick myself back up again, sort out my health, my work, and get things back on track. Nobody else is going to do that for me.

 

I'm in a funny dilemma at the moment. Part of me genuinely wants to find a girlfriend here in the UK other than the one night stands. Someone to love and take care of, to take away for long weekends, and to start a family with. It's only on days like this that I'm feeling a little lonely that this feels right. There is another big side of me that thinks that is completely the wrong decision.

 

The thought of getting married again then turning round at 45 to find my once beautiful partner is overweight and run ragged by 3 teenage kids sounds like zero fun. Maybe an alternative is for me to knuckle down over the next 10 years and build up £750,000 - £1,000,000 in assets. This should generate me £30,000 p/a in income. What this would enable me to do is, well, whatever I want to do!

 

I could cycle round the world, go live in Pattaya for extended periods of time, buy a boat and sail off, backpack wherever I wanted, start doing charity work, find a job I really want. In short have the freedom and time to experience life in a different way to the majority of the population. Freedom coupled with a string of beautiful women sounds like every man's dream, right?

[imagine]

 

Anyhow I need to pick myself back up again, sort out my health, my work, and get things back on track. Nobody else is going to do that for me.

 

I'm in a funny dilemma at the moment. Part of me genuinely wants to find a girlfriend here in the UK other than the one night stands. Someone to love and take care of, to take away for long weekends, and to start a family with. It's only on days like this that I'm feeling a little lonely that this feels right. There is another big side of me that thinks that is completely the wrong decision.

 

Hi BOrk,

 

This is a strange vent.

 

I had a friend with a very fulfilling sex life. Got himself drunk for a period of time then finally succeeded in commiting suicide.

 

The bottom line is that you, like many, do not know what you want.

 

Gotta go now... I will call later.

[U2RockZz]

if you are not filed yet....just go do that....it might give u a closure......create yourself some wealth all other things will fall in place...

[b0rk]

Hi BOrk,

 

This is a strange vent.

 

I had a friend with a very fulfilling sex life. Got himself drunk for a period of time then finally succeeded in commiting suicide.

 

The bottom line is that you, like many, do not know what you want.

 

Gotta go now... I will call later.

 

 

Yeah, perhaps... although I'm in no way suicidal but I can see how someone would get that way when 'trapped' in a situation one does not want to be in.

 

I don't know if anyone really knows what they want and most just do the things they think they are supposed to... find a girl, get married, have kids, pay off the house, retire, die. Thing with that is you are 'stuck' with your decision for a very long time especially if it's the wrong one.

 

I for one feel 'lucky' to have been married at an early age and to understand that it perhaps isn't the right thing to do long term.

 

Perhaps the way we are actually supposed to live our lives is more transient way. Think about it. It's only in very recent history that people have lived much past 28 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_expectancy#Life_expectancy_variation_over_time)). Link that in with research that demonstrates people are only 'in love' (chemical balance in the brain) for 7 years and you can easily conclude that we aren't actually designed for long term monogamous relationships.

 

A wise man once said 'if it floats, flies, or fornicates, then rent it'.

 

That's why I'm leaning towards financial independence in 10 years time. I'll have the next 35+ years of my life to figure out what the hell it is I want while having a string of stunning girls taking care of me.

 

Unconventional? Perhaps... but who's to say what is right!

[carhill]

We make plans and then life happens....

 

 

Getting divorced and healing from the pain of the spousal EA's will facilitate part of both. I do appreciate hearing the reality of what happens when women tell me they went 'crazy' after separating from their spouses. Great information

[Darth Vader]

Have you been tested for STD's?

Chronic tonsillitis may be a symptom of something else.

 

 

I was wondering the same thing....

 

There's a lot of AIDS over there in Thailand from what I've heard..........

 

Ladyboys? What in the world!:sick:

[carhill]

Ladyboys = shemales = boyish males who dress up and appear like females. Apparently it's quite a business in Thailand, if one is into profiting from sexual variety. Google it

[Jilly Bean]

Ladyboys = shemales = boyish males who dress up and appear like females. Apparently it's quite a business in Thailand, if one is into profiting from sexual variety. Google it

 

Or, a tranny.

 

So, was this thread about the way to recover from divorce and affairs is to go to Bangkok, screw a tranny or four and contract syphilis?

 

Oy.

[carhill]

I've known a few transsexuals and dated one many years ago. They seemed very female in all ways, including the appropriate genitals. I would have never thought of them as 'shemales', but YMMV. Maybe the OP can describe the particulars.

[Jilly Bean]

I've known a few transsexuals and dated one many years ago. They seemed very female in all ways, including the appropriate genitals. I would have never thought of them as 'shemales', but YMMV. Maybe the OP can describe the particulars.

 

Really? You dated a post-op, though.

 

I was thinking pre-op, which is a dude with breasts, on female hormones, with a penis. Chick with a dick.

[spriggig]

I'll have the next 35+ years of my life to figure out what the hell it is I want while having a string of stunning girls taking care of me.

 

Unconventional? Perhaps... but who's to say what is right!

 

Judging by your successful and enjoyable trips to Thailand, it seems like you're the type who could do just this.

 

I have a profile on Adult Friendfinder and the things people do! After getting just that close to it, I knew I could never enter the "swinger" lifestyle, no way. The fantasy is somewhat alluring but I find the reality hollow and a bit too goopy.

 

People are different, not everyone wants solid monogamy. People who do want it have a very hard time making it work. If what you've described is an option for you, I say do it!

[carhill]

Really? You dated a post-op, though.

 

I was thinking pre-op, which is a dude with breasts, on female hormones, with a penis. Chick with a dick.

That could be. Haven't been with one like that. Without surgery though, OP would've been either getting BJ's or doing anal. The latter, in Thailand, would give me pause even if I were 'crazy'. I'm not suicidal.

[Jilly Bean]

That could be. Haven't been with one like that. Without surgery though, OP would've been either getting BJ's or doing anal. The latter, in Thailand, would give me pause even if I were 'crazy'. I'm not suicidal.

 

Well, could explain his mysterious sore throats. lol

 

And you're quite interesting, Carhill. I will give you that.

 

Bork - enjoy your freedom, but please be safe. One day you will want to stop free-falling, and you want to be sure you're entact at that point...

[Darth Vader]

Ladyboys = shemales = boyish males who dress up and appear like females. Apparently it's quite a business in Thailand, if one is into profiting from sexual variety. Google it

 

 

Ok, thanks. I think I'm gonna be sick!:sick:

[Darth Vader]

I've known a few transsexuals and dated one many years ago. They seemed very female in all ways, including the appropriate genitals. I would have never thought of them as 'shemales', but YMMV. Maybe the OP can describe the particulars.

 

 

How did you find out the she was or is a he? So the person looked like a female at first glance?

 

Forgive me, I'm starting to get freaked out!

[Chrome Barracuda]

This thread is hilarious!!!

 

LMAO.

 

Bork is just being honest. i would have just left that ladyboy thing out of the equation though. TMI. damn!

 

Look bork if your having fun now, great, but remember please practice sade sex. Places like brazil and thailand rampant for lots of diseases. You dont want to cut your life short getting all that trim, right?

[b0rk]

hmmmmm OK so a few things.

 

Tonsillitis is just that - tonsillitis. Reason for recurrence is actually my own fault for going to a Pharmacy in Thailand rather than a Dr for medication. They prescribed a penicillin based antibiotic on a 4 day rather than the 10 day standard course. This in turn meant repeat treatments and in turn the bacteria building up a tolerance.

 

As for STDs etc. The girls are tested every two weeks and can always produce a certificate on request. It's not in the bar owner's interest to have it any other way. Believe me the girls are so much cleaner than western women... in fact now when I sleep with a western girl it's kinda gross - most don't even shower before sex!

 

Referencing the hollow experience... well again that's looking at things with the Western mindset. Thailand is nothing like that at all. Things are more like 'dating' over there except it's just a little bit easier and the women are all stunning. Put it this way - when I was too ill to leave my condo for 3 days the girls quickly found out and I had round the clock care from them and they asked for nothing. You wouldn't get that from western working girls or even swingers! The girl's just have great hearts .

 

Ladyboys.... well, if one walked into a bar in the USA or UK jaws would drop to the floor and they would get attention all night long. It's a tad ignorant to call them 'guys in dresses'. Anyone who has done research into this knows the PHYSICAL composition of a ladyboy's brain is actually the same as a women's... they just happen to be trapped in the wrong physical form. The Thai ladyboys really are a world apart from what you would find in the western world. They really are beautiful and exotic creatures . I've been 'fooled' on a number of occasions right up to the point where we get back to the condo... and yes, it's always a pleasant surprise! To be honest after so many girls it makes a nice change .

 

Anyway, that's too much of the detail really, reason for starting this thread was more high level - what should the next 10 years look like... buggered if I know .

Edited June 28, 2010 by b0rk

[imagine]

Returning to to the comment that your friend made on "f's", the f that I think you are missing is "fellowship". That which a female gives. This is one you receive long distance by returning the favour. I'm afraid that you can't rent it either.

 

If you are looking for thing to do that will keep you occupied, there's always the Millennium problems (Google it). There are still six left to solve.

 

If you are looking for significance in you life - I recommend Scripture (1 Ecclesiastes).

 

Right now I am dipping into Quantum Theory. This is NOT a subject that I can share with my wife.

[Darth Vader]

Ok, I've lost my lunch, or dinner, whatever it was.......:sick::sick:

 

Yeah, right, that was too much detail!

[spriggig]

...but remember please practice sade sex.

 

Yeah, Sade is hot. Practice that.

[Chrome Barracuda]

Yeah, Sade is hot. Practice that.

 

LOL. I meant safe sex!

 

Yeah she is pretty hot. Hey bork if you meet a middle aged light skinned black woman with nice lips and body, please tap dat azz... lol.

 

And also if you dont want to get married again, just say so.

 

Um one more thing did you ever get divorced what happened with that!

[b0rk]

Hi,

 

Have you ever visited Pattaya? Ever had a relationship with a Thai girl? Ever even LEFT America? I doubt it. Your coments are therefore not based on hard facts more general ignorance and assumption. Comments I made are true and valid based on first hand experience and an open mind.

 

.

 

b0rk.

[Owl]

So the update is that you're no longer interested in your (ex?)-wife? That pretty much sum up the actual "update"?

[Vcygnus1]

dude congrats on getting over the EX-wife! so it is final or is she technically not the ex yet? What you do with your body is your business but these people are just making sure you know the other side. Its easy to get blinded by a couple hot asian girls and forget about the other 99.999% of your life.

 

Have fun and good luck! and keep up the good work on dealing with the ex

 

 

 

p.s. about the boys, whatever floats your boat bro. If you knew in advance and werent surprised about th boy parts then have fun

[Mimolicious]

In the interim I also visited Thailand and went to Pattaya. For those of you who don't know about this place it's like Disneyworld for adults. For those of you with preconceptions about the place you are likely to be wrong. I imagine in the west working girls have a really bad time. Anyone could show up at the door and the meeting is a fleeting hour.

 

*crickets* Awww poor Western prosties! They don't get to shoot ping-pong balls out their tighest hole and get pay $0.50 a day. Boowhoo!

 

Thailand is so very different and any arrangement you make with a girl is 100% mutually agreeable. Guys get turned down all the time by the girls for all manner of reasons. Going there as a young guy you really are treated like a rockstar!

 

Yes, very different prostitution is illegal in Thailand yet very regulated and accepted widely, unlike other places. Make up your mind, either guys get turned down or get "rockstar" treatment. Money talks in prostitution, you have dollars you get whatever:rolleyes:. The only "agreeable" part in it is the RATE!

 

 

Needless to say after 2-3 years of very little sex I frankly had a lot of ground to cover. For the first week there were 3-soms, 4-soms, girls, ladyboys, you name it I probably did it . Second week I fancied something more relaxed so took a couple of real stunning girls away to one of the backpacker islands (Koh Phi Phi). Had a brilliant time diving, snorkelling, partying on the beach every night, etc .

 

 

LADYBOYS?:eek::sick:

Do they also have a all-inclusive STD Exam package?

"Something more relaxed"? You think!?

 

This was just what I needed to make me realise how screwed up things were with my wife.

 

With your exW or WITH YOU????????

 

Fast forward a little bit and I'm still building those friendships and things are going well all round. Then around 3 months ago I think things got derailed.

 

What friendships? You go to another continent to sleep with prostitutes.

 

Firstly I went on secondment to another project for work.. this meant living away from home during the week meaning my health and wealth suffered slightly. I took in a lodger and while she's a good girl we don't quite 'click' and I feel slightly nervous around her. This meant at the weekends I was tired with my friends and didn't really have any girls back at mine (anyone I meet is told flat that a LT relationship is out of the question...)

 

Why? cause she doesn't tell you "Me love you long time, I'll s*ck your BLEEP for a dollah"? I hope no chick is stupid enough to even give you the option to have a R with them. You are treating women like they are animals because something someone else did to you.

 

 

After that I flew out to Thailand again for 3 weeks... had a truly brilliant time... mindblowing... but caught tonsillitis near the start that knocked me for six a little bit. On returning to England I pick up yet another job and it's stressful as hell. Genuinely never experienced anything like it before. Add to that that my tonsillitis is recurring and my health, wealth, mental stability, and stress levels are all way below par.

 

Riiighhht.... (I wonder why?)

 

 

She's found a new boyfriend and is moving in together with him. I genuinely wish him the best of luck because he'll need it. She's doing loads of things now I always asked her to do... going to festivals, gigs etc. Thing is I know that's not really her so I think she's putting on an act with him. Then again maybe he just knows how to handle her.. who knows.

 

Is this the pot calling the kettle black? You are calling her a fake (yet she sounds to be living a normal life) while you are 'building up" a fresh group of prosties *ahem* I mean friends.

 

 

 

The thought of getting married again then turning round at 45 to find my once beautiful partner is overweight and run ragged by 3 teenage kids sounds like zero fun.

 

And I am sure that you will be zero fun too, but you'll have a blue little pill to thank at the end.

 

Maybe an alternative is for me to knuckle down over the next 10 years and build up £750,000 - £1,000,000 in assets. This should generate me £30,000 p/a in income. What this would enable me to do is, well, whatever I want to do!

 

You mean this will enable you to relocate to Thailand? Or maybe you can use some of that money to buy the next best thing in getting help with an errection?

 

 

I could cycle round the world, go live in Pattaya for extended periods of time, buy a boat and sail off, backpack wherever I wanted, start doing charity work, find a job I really want. In short have the freedom and time to experience life in a different way to the majority of the population. Freedom coupled with a string of beautiful women sounds like every man's dream, right?

 

I am sure you consider paying women for thrills charity.

Oh absofrickinglutely it does. KEYWORD: DREAM. Dream over when you wake up in a retirement home broke and with no family.

 

(Insert Golf clap here) WE GOT A WINNER!