DenverBachelor Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Let's try and put something positive down. What was the most enlightening thing you learned from your break-up and past relationship?
chooch Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Not to take things and people that matter for granted
teanoranges Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Don't put more into it than they are... and take care of yourself first. As a matter of fact, leave if they aren't putting in as much as you.
heavensmesenger Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Cherish everyday with them as if it was your last. Truly listen to them and always make sure you keep things fresh and fun both in and out the bedroom
Heatemyheart89 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 to not put your heart and soul into just one person. Like make sure you have a life outside of them so when it goes T*ts up your not f*cked!!!!!lol
Treasa Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 To recognize the signs of a narcissist, and to never give that much of myself to someone, especially someone like that. To realize that I can't change someone's actions or who they are.
Tsm Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 the minute you realise that you working too hard to make the relationship work, you need to quit trying and let it be.
Username37 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I learned quite a few - I understand why women like chivalry. - Make every good bye special. It could be your last - You learn how much you truly love someone when they're gone - I hate saying this but: Everything happens for a reason. - Trust in your partner shows true love - When you're having fun, you're partner might not be - They love affection, small or big. - Don't take someone for granted There's more, just can't remember them now
northstar1 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Never accept all the blame for a breakup. A relationship breaking down is almost always because both people contributed to it, either actively or passively. Even if your ex blames you, realize they also had something to do with it. Don't take on all the guilt. Sure you may have made mistakes, we all do, but learn from them and move on. Don't hold onto the past, it's pointless. That person you thought was the 'one' wasn't and isn't and you will find someone again.
wrencn Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 That I am much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. AND He's not nearly good enough for me.
Soul-Mate'less Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 when things start to get rocky.. address them head on.. and try to diffuse all situations with love, affection and patience.. as opposed anger, fighting, and arguing.. two ppl mad at each other.. will always try to ONE UP one another.. to piss each other off.. creating a downward spiral.. if one extends the olive branch lovingly.. and try being less vindictive .. things will have a greater chance at improving.. I realized when I started to feel him "changing".. i tried to make him feel the hurt I was feeling.. I tend to mirror those around me.. meaning.. what you give me.. is what I give back.. equally.. and that doesn't always work in your favor a lot of the time.. :-(
LoveTruthChaos Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 That relationships are fated, written in the stars, whether they are for good or bad reasons, they are meant to be. To continue on my own path, and IF anyone else chooses to join me on my path, so be it. Never to change or give up my plans for anyone. That I will never EVER be with someone ever again who is lazy and doesn't follow through with promises. I deserve the world. 'A Man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds' There's more I'm sure, but I'm still learning what they are
Star Gazer Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Never lose yourself in a relationship. Always keep true to yourself, and never sacrifice yourself for your relationship. Without communication and the ability to work through and resolve conflicts (whatever their size), no relationship can survive. You can be the best communicator and have the best conflict resolution skills on the planet, but because it takes two people to be in a relationship, if your partner can't communicate or avoids conflict, you're going to be in trouble.
davisc123 Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 Communication is hugely important. Don't bottle up any bad feelings etc. Always be yourself. And if you think they are cheating, becoming cold and distant, dishonest etc., dont bend over backwards to win their love back - it wont work. Let them get on with it and ruin their own life. Always retain your dignity. Dont take on too much responsibility - it takes two! Really savour the special moments. Do something special and surprise your partner every once in a while, they will really appreciate the thought. That goes for guys and girls. FINALLY! Appreciate what you have, the grass isn't greener on the other side.
deux ex machina Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 In the final analysis, it really doesn't matter how good you are together, how much you have in common, or the interests you share. The true bottom line is if you don't share the most important thing of all - mutual, reciprocal care and nuturing, both for each other, and the relationship itself - then you can try to fix it until the day after forever, it just won't work.
Ilovecake Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 I learned that I'm totally and completely happy being single and he was definitely not worth the tears. I wish I would have gotten out sooner but hindsight is 20/20.
GrayClouds Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 The greater you love yourself, the greater it will be you're with someone who agrees with you. Choices are ultimately based on either pursuing what you love or avoiding what you fear, it is important to be honest which one is motivating you.
mickleb Posted June 23, 2010 Posted June 23, 2010 That skipping can actually be fun. Eating chickpea curry five evenings out of seven isn't so bad and all that http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t233232/ marlarkey. x
nihilanth100 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 1. Don't take something you love for granted, you WILL lose it.
Arabella Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 I learned trusting people who haven't earned it is a recipe for a lot of pain. I trusted him implicitly for no reason other than it was him and gave him my heart, my trust and my love without question. He lied at every turn and eventually stomped on it and handed it back to me. Yeah, believe me... not a mistake I will be making again. Arabella
Username37 Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 People change. Everybody told me this one. People change. It's true. My ex changed and it hurts me a lot.
Numb Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 What I have learned....the last time you have sex with her when you know its gonna be over give her a dirty sanchez and get dressed and leave. And stick to NC lol.
tiwani Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 I learned that it is not safe for my heart to trust the other person fully when it comes to "internet friends" or their girl-friends(or guy friends if the person swings that way), because if you do, they think you wont suspect anything and will end up leaving you for them and make excuses about EVERYTHING. I also learned that I need to work really hard on the following: *learn to put my foot down when I'm not okay with something *I need to find and release my inner B!@#& *I really need to start putting myself before others once in a while oh, and I need to NOT put them on a pedestal if to them, I'm standing on a piece of paper. idk what else, still pretty fresh..
Soul-Mate'less Posted June 24, 2010 Posted June 24, 2010 Never lose yourself in a relationship. Always keep true to yourself, and never sacrifice yourself for your relationship.Without communication and the ability to work through and resolve conflicts (whatever their size), no relationship can survive. You can be the best communicator and have the best conflict resolution skills on the planet, but because it takes two people to be in a relationship, if your partner can't communicate or avoids conflict, you're going to be in trouble. AMEN to this..
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