SincereOnlineGuy Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 The only true sensible reaction would be to leave her immediately, but since you're going to be too (foolish) to do that, and save your future, just sit back and prepare to be belittled at every corner during what will be a long, wasteful stretch of your future. If you're fortunate, and I mean very fortunate, this woman will take-up with the neighbor within the next year and save you decades of frustration and disappointment. For now, just plan and rehearse your quick-on-the-draw reaction as soon as she steps out of line, while hoping it will happen prior to 2015 (or 2035). Bon Voyage. (PS - to everyone who ever reads this: Sometimes one must tell it like it is)
ComeUndone Posted June 10, 2010 Posted June 10, 2010 Your own title says it all: I've got one for the record books... Clearly you know there's something way off about your girlfriend. She is being way to controlling. And yes, I think that she is mirroring her own guilt onto you. For her to lie about the visit to Starbuck's with her ex is very bad... she was only honest once she knew she was cornered. I think she knows that she has been shady with you and is now concerned about every move you make.
Author Joppy Posted June 11, 2010 Author Posted June 11, 2010 Well, I got to test out TaraMaiden's suggestion last night...got a text from a good friend of mine (male) and she wanted to know what it was about, immediately assumed her position of trying to read over my shoulder. I turned around and said, "I haven't even read the whole txt yet. Maybe it is something personal he doesn't want anyone else to know about." She said, "So I can't read it" and I told her no. She got visibly irked and stormed off into the other room and said "fine". A little later, I sat down to calmly talk to her about it and explained to her that I didn't understand why it was so important that she read every text I get, no matter who it is. She basically told me that it is because we're a couple and we shouldn't "hide" things from one another/I shouldn't be "filtering" things going on with other people in my life. I told her I've never tried to hide anything from her, and asked her if I'd ever given her reason to be concerned about what I'm doing, who I'm talking to, etc. She replied that I hadn't, but quickly shot back, "but it isn't about that. It's about you not wanting to share things with me. Of course, I suppose that I should expect that, since I'm further down the totem pole...I'm just the girlfriend, after all." I asked her what she meant and said, "Oh, I just said that - I really don't know why." She then expressed how I have more friends than she does and I'm more social, and that automatically makes what I'm talking about more interesting...basically that she has one or two friends and of course I'm not going to be as interested/makes it easier for me not to care who she's talking to. I told her that it isn't that I don't care, I just figure if she has something pertinent to our relationship that she WANTS to share, she's welcome to it...and that's how it should be, us sharing because we want to, not because one of us demands it. She ended the conversation with a very martyrish, "fine, you talk to whomever you want, and I'll just always assume it is none my business." As to my original start of this thread, I've decided I'm going to the doctor on Monday. It isn't going to change her life one iota, and I didn't get involved with her to be her robot...
Mr White Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 Weak. Plus tell her that it is against the rules to think about your gf when you masturbate!!!
reservoirdog1 Posted June 11, 2010 Posted June 11, 2010 IMHO, the best thing you can do right now is stop giving in to her demands. Jerk off when you want to, and admit to it if she asks you if you've been doing it. Go to the doctor, and tell her about it after the fact. Stop putting your voicemails on speakerphone, stop letting her read over your shoulder. (I'm all for couples being honest and open with each other, but she's demonstrating borderline paranoia.) Doing the above will probably cause more arguments with her, at least in the short term. Those will either end because you don't back down and she does, or they continue until the relationship ends. And either of those two outcomes is better than the present situation.
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