wildcard Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 So... there's this guy I've been seeing for about a month now. He's been really sweet to me in the past and I've had absolutely no complaints up until a week ago. A week ago, texts started coming less frequently and he started seeming less eager to see me. One night he used the excuse that he couldn't see me because he had to get up early the next morning, even though that had never been an issue in the past. He asked me to hang out one night and then that night I received a text saying he'd made plans to do something else. I was upset and didn't return his texts or his calls that night, thinking I could give myself some time to cool off. It ended up being a miscommunication and he'd been asking me if I wanted to go with him. He ignored my attempts at getting in touch with him all day the next day until late at night, when I finally pleaded with him to talk to me. Things seemed to get better when he told me it was okay and even told me I was the only girl he's seeing without prompting. Last night though, when we hung out, it was clear that he wasn't over me ignoring his texts that night. I tried to address it and apologize again, but he simply brushed it off even though it was obvious that it was still an issue. He seemed less interested and less into me than ever before. When usually he would have asked me to stay the night, he dropped hints that it was time for me to go. Now, texts from him are nonexistent unless I start talking to him first. I asked him to go out tonight, and I got a 'maybe', which I'm well aware probably means no. What's he thinking? Did I blow it after one mistake? Should I stop trying to get in contact with him and forget about it?
ADF Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 This man is clearly trying to distance himself from you. Why, I don't know. But I think the fact he said he wasn't seeing anyone else without prompting is suspicious. It suggests he was anticipating a question about that, which makes me think he is seeing someone else. But it is hard to know. Unfortunately, too many people in this world are all about making difficult situations as easy as possible on themselves. Other people's feelings don't count. Rather than have an honest, uncomfortable conversation with you about why he's lost interest, he is trying to fade away gradually, hoping you'll take the hint and disappear yourself. It is a craven, cowardly way to do things. Don't let him get away with it. Tell him that you know he is pulling away from you, and you want to know why. If he waffles, tell him that you don't know what the whole truth is, but you know you're not hearing it. Then dump his sorry a__.
EasyHeart Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 You've only been dating for a month! He's losing interest in you -- who knows why? The first 6 months of dating are just a time for both of you to decide if you want to keep seeing each other. Don't get all wrapped up in a guy you barely know.
kiss_andmakeup Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 My instinct is to say he's also been seeing someone else, and perhaps he is beginning to favour her over you. Perhaps she is pressuring him for exclusivity and he is contemplating this, so he is trying to distance himself from you. But who knows.
RedRussian Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 When we men distance ourselves from a girl we don't want to see or hear from her. So take it as such and accordingly. He just does not want to heart your feelings and say "sorry it's not working out, i gave it a go but i don't feel the connection and understanding i feel there should be"
ADF Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 When we men distance ourselves from a girl we don't want to see or hear from her. So take it as such and accordingly. He just does not want to heart your feelings and say "sorry it's not working out, i gave it a go but i don't feel the connection and understanding i feel there should be" I'm sorry, but this isn't true. Men don't distance themselves for the sake of women. Men distance themselves for their own sakes. They do it because slinking away like a craven coward is easier than having an honest, but difficult, conversation with a woman about what they're really feeling. No man is obligated to continue a relationship with a woman he isn't interested in. But he should at least have the common decency to tell her the truth. Men always complain that women expect them to read their minds. Why should a man expect a woman to read his?
RedRussian Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Women almost never tell the truth, so he is in his right. What ever reason is, fact is he has checked out, so let him go.
Miss Right Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 He's losing interest...fast. Leave that one alone. It's only been a month. You shouldn't have to be running him down at this point. He should be equally interested and eager, and if he isn't, than he isn't the one. Don't force it...it won't end good.
OceanTropic Posted June 7, 2010 Posted June 7, 2010 Do you realize that he is making you feel guilty for something you didn't do? My ex was like that, he sounds a bit manipulative. Doesn't mean hes a horrible guy, but he is manipulative. He blew you off so many times, and ignored your texts and calls, and YOU are apologizing? On top of that, he has the NERVE to "think about it"? Hunny, distance yourself as well. Go out with your friends, get busy, and blow him off once in a while. Not only is it a taste of his own medicine, but it also shows him you have a life, and don't depend on him to go out and have fun. He will think twice. This is why he is losing interest, no one wants someone who is dependant. They want an INDEPENDANT woman. They associate it with winning, and all men want to be winners. They associate a woman who can be on her own and do her own thing as a winning woman, and they want to be around women like that, not girls who depend on the men and can't do anything on their own terms.
ADF Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 Women almost never tell the truth, so he is in his right. What ever reason is, fact is he has checked out, so let him go. Unless THIS woman has lied to him, he is not within his right. And, frankly, even if she had, he still wouldn't be right. There's a thing called "common decency," and common decency says you man the f___ up and tell a woman, to her face, why you're dumping her. You don't go sneaking away like some sniveling little punk-a__ b____. Well, maybe you do, RedRussian. But real men don't.
RedRussian Posted June 9, 2010 Posted June 9, 2010 I'm a REAL MAN and I do. So there! just there...yes, your reason is gone woman. As I REAL MAN I set standards.
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