cabarc1 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 So i met a guy off of facebook this past Saturday. He messaged me months ago and we talked through there for about a month and then it went to the phone. We clicked really well! He had asked me a couple of times to hang out but i just didn't want to meet someone from off of the internet, although i was really liking him and always wondered what it would be like to hang out with him. So we finally met, he seemed so shy/nervous but was so cute. We went and hung out at this restaurant and just talked for like 3 hours. At first it was awkward but we both warmed up and just laughed the whole night. I was loving every minute of it, the chemistry was great. After the restaurant we decided to go to the movies. We were stopped at a red light and he tells me "i have something for you", and pulls out the Dear John movie. I had mentioned that i loved that movie and he bought it for me when it came out. I was glad he gave it to me then and not at the beginning. I found it so sweet and thoughtful. After the movies, he brought me back home and we kissed. I haven't felt this way or butterflies like these in FOREVER!! He text me 5 mins after he left telling me how good of a time he had and how pretty he thought i was. We are going to see each other again Monday and have been talking a lot more since our first date. Is it safe to assume he really likes me?? Or am i reading too much into it??? It's hard to get my attention and for me to like a guy, so it's crazy to me that i'm feeling this way about someone so soon. I mean most guys wouldn't give a girl a gift unless he really likes her right? What does everyone else think??
RedRussian Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 "i have something for you", and pulls out the Dear John movie. I had mentioned that i loved that movie we kissed text me 5 mins after he left telling me how good of a time he had and how pretty he thought i was talking a lot more since our first date. Is it safe to assume he really likes me?? You should of put more question marks..... I mean from above quotes, he clearly does not like you and does not want to see or talk to you again.....women these days, i guess if he would of gave you a ring that might have gave you a better idea if he likes you. And i'm feeling this way about someone so soon So soon? you been talking for months before you met it's not like it is a stranger.... Nice guys get the short end of the stick
somedude81 Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 No he hates you. Guys only give gifts and kiss girls they can't stand. He was actually trying to suck your soul out to show his displeasure of you
Author cabarc1 Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Haha!!! Ok smartass, point taken! I guess what i really want to know is if it's something more than just trying to get me in bed or something??
phineas Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Haha!!! Ok smartass, point taken! I guess what i really want to know is if it's something more than just trying to get me in bed or something?? DUH! Of course he wants to get you in bed. He's a guy. But, whether he's a player just looking for a steady pump till the next piece comes around is impossible for us to know. Just don't give it up to easily. However, eventually you will have to take a chance & put out or he'll most likely bail.
Author cabarc1 Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Thanks for being so upfront Phineas! I know not to give in too easily but definitely don't plan on waiting forever either! I guess i will just see how things go......
Vasto_Lorde Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Thanks for being so upfront Phineas! I know not to give in too easily but definitely don't plan on waiting forever either! I guess i will just see how things go...... I think it's pretty clear that he does have something for you. What exactly it is remains to be seen. I will say this, not all guys are looking for women to "put out". A number of guys (myself included) don't care about that. You should assess the situation with the guy but I will caution you against doing something you aren't really comfortable doing just to keep a guys attention. It shouldn't work like that. I wish you the best.
carhill Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 So, OP, tell us something about what's special to this guy; something you could proactively recognize and share with him in the future, like he did with the movie he bought you. What did you learn about *him* in the online discourse and during your apparently enjoyable and interesting date? Being pretty and having sexual appeal will get you a guy, but it's balance and depth which will *keep* the guy. Enjoy the date on Monday and, yes, it's safe to assume he likes you
DanielMadr Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I will say this, not all guys are looking for women to "put out". A number of guys (myself included) don't care about that. That's because they are: a) afraid of their sexuality b) think that they distinguish themselves from "Jerks" c) are gay d) don't really like the girl and therefore don't care about being more INTIMATE with her a),b) is actually PRETENDING...lying c) come out of closet now d) sad. Time to discard the boy and become a Man. Because sex is the ultimate level of intimacy, connection and knowing someone...besides it feels good too.
Cracker Jack Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 He's definitely looking for a deeper connection with you; emotionally and physically. I'm not seeing any issues with it, though.
Author cabarc1 Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Thanks guys, i appreciate the feedback! :)
OpenGL Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 The only purpose of this post was to attention whore. And guys fell for it. How sad
USMCHokie Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 The only purpose of this post was to attention whore. And guys fell for it. How sad http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t232465/
Author cabarc1 Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 Haha!! Thanks USMCHokie!! That explains a lot!
Feelin Frisky Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 To me it sounds like you both lucked out. I wouldn't say be suspicious or cautionary, just keep it in the back of your head that you never really know someone until you've seen their loyalties under adversity. Right now it must feel wonderful. But just try to keep at leat one foot on the ground. If he disappoints you one day soon, you can crash lower than you feel high right now. And that may cause you to over-react and appear desperate, clingy and insecure--in which you may then make the worst come true. Adjust to the disappointment if it's just a disconnect rather than an out-right betrayal and see if a pattern of disloyalty or marginalization begins to show itself. Then you can break it off and land on your feet without having a lasting broken spirit. Best of luck. Jim
Pyro Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 The only purpose of this post was to attention whore. And guys fell for it. How sad seriously you should go away from here and get a real life instead of crying and being rude all the time. As for the OP, he definitely likes you. He didn't have to give you a gift, but he did, and the fact its a gift that you mentioned you were a fan of says even more. Him paying attention to details like that is a big plus. Good luck.
Serenitynow Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 I know not to give in too easily but definitely don't plan on waiting forever either! How many days/weeks do you plan on waiting from the first date ? I'm serious, I would like to know honestly if you have a set number of days. Not to make notes for myself next time I'm with a girl, but I'd like to know since I think theres a fine line between giving it up too soon, and not soon enough. If I try to show a girl i respect her by waiting, I risk making her think I'm too shy/nerdy to pull the trigger. I really hate that part of a new relationship
Author cabarc1 Posted June 3, 2010 Author Posted June 3, 2010 How many days/weeks do you plan on waiting from the first date ? I'm serious, I would like to know honestly if you have a set number of days. Not to make notes for myself next time I'm with a girl, but I'd like to know since I think theres a fine line between giving it up too soon, and not soon enough. If I try to show a girl i respect her by waiting, I risk making her think I'm too shy/nerdy to pull the trigger. I really hate that part of a new relationship Thanks for the replies..... Honestly, i really don't have a set number of days. I guess what i have in mind is waiting to be in a monogamous relationship. Is that so crazy?? I've gotten intimate too soon with a couple of guys that weren't ever my "boyfriend" and i felt really dirty afterwards. Not putting down on anyone that does that, i just didn't feel right afterwards. I would never take a guy being respectful by waiting as "shy/nerdy", if anything he'd push me away if i begin to feel pressured. He told me in the very beginning of us talking through facebook that he was looking for someone to "hang out with" and see where it leads. I just want to make sure i'm not putting myself into some "friends with benefits" kind of situation. I figured that by buying me the gift, it must mean something more... no???
alphamale Posted June 3, 2010 Posted June 3, 2010 Is it safe to assume he really likes me?? yes, unless he was mean to you at some point
Vasto_Lorde Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 That's because they are: a) afraid of their sexuality b) think that they distinguish themselves from "Jerks" c) are gay d) don't really like the girl and therefore don't care about being more INTIMATE with her a),b) is actually PRETENDING...lying c) come out of closet now d) sad. Time to discard the boy and become a Man. Because sex is the ultimate level of intimacy, connection and knowing someone...besides it feels good too. So I guess you've got every guy on the planet figured out huh? It's one thing to speak for yourself and your intentions and it's another thing to project your own baggage onto others. When I read posts like yours, which are sweeping in nature, I get the feeling that the poster is projecting. Maybe to you sex is the ultimate form of intimacy but it may differ for others. You don't get to speak for others mate especially on things so personal. Oh, by the way, sex doesn't make you a man. Even 13 year old kids are having six. Big freaking deal.
Disillusioned Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 I will say this, not all guys are looking for women to "put out". A number of guys (myself included) don't care about that. AMEN, brother. To the OP: use the next date as an opportunity to ask him what he's looking for in the relationship. It's awkward, but chemistry isn't going to get established any other way.
Author cabarc1 Posted June 4, 2010 Author Posted June 4, 2010 yeah i guess i will just ask that way i can just go from there....thanks
DanielMadr Posted June 4, 2010 Posted June 4, 2010 So I guess you've got every guy on the planet figured out huh? Pretty much. It is not that hard. It's one thing to speak for yourself and your intentions and it's another thing to project your own baggage onto others. When I read posts like yours, which are sweeping in nature, I get the feeling that the poster is projecting. Ask yourself those questions. I did ask them myself some time ago. And the sincere answers made me see. Be honest with yourself. Projecting? Sure. Everyone has similar issues. And it is necessary to find them, name them and get rid of them. I was just trying to save you some time. Maybe to you sex is the ultimate form of intimacy but it may differ for others. You don't get to speak for others mate especially on things so personal. A chat is more intimate? Oh, by the way, sex doesn't make you a man. Even 13 year old kids are having six. Big freaking deal. Never said it does. I meant, being afraid of your own or her sexuality and playing it safe for the sake of your fragile ego is boyish. Embrasing your masculine energy/sexuality, taking responsibility by leading and taking risks of rejection, not caring about other people distorted view of you, not hiding your true emotions is the goal. It is risky and it "hurts" ones ego but it is mature man's way.
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