"Being Whipped"

[Bangle]

. Is it that the gf is being too controlling or are you just not that close friends?

 

If a friend of 18 years isn't a stong friendship then I don't know what is? He says he'll ring me and he never does, I gave up ringing him after he gave me umpteen of excuses like he had to go and have lunch with his girlfriends parents or had to visit his aunt. He would say he'd phone back and never did, so I have given up. When he splits up with her he's on his own, I've cut him off and it is the same with another friend who has been dating his girlfriend for seven months, he is so whipped that he has to bring his girlfriend out with us places, she is an idiot and no one likes her, so why bring her? Because he is whipped that is why. My other mate who I haven't seen for two years, left for University with his girlfriend and hasn't been back since, he rings me occasionally, but I hardly ever answer to him.

 

As I say if the modern woman expects every man to give up their friends for her then she has met her match in me, because I like a balance and if women are being so overpowering and irrational. I'll stick to parties, strip clubs and brothel houses.

[climbergirl]

If a friend of 18 years isn't a stong friendship then I don't know what is? He says he'll ring me and he never does, I gave up ringing him after he gave me umpteen of excuses like he had to go and have lunch with his girlfriends parents or had to visit his aunt. He would say he'd phone back and never did, so I have given up. When he splits up with her he's on his own, I've cut him off and it is the same with another friend who has been dating his girlfriend for seven months, he is so whipped that he has to bring his girlfriend out with us places, she is an idiot and no one likes her, so why bring her? Because he is whipped that is why. My other mate who I haven't seen for two years, left for University with his girlfriend and hasn't been back since, he rings me occasionally, but I hardly ever answer to him.

 

As I say if the modern woman expects every man to give up their friends for her then she has met her match in me, because I like a balance and if women are being so overpowering and irrational. I'll stick to parties, strip clubs and brothel houses.

 

He has to or wants to? Maybe she doesn't want to go with you guys any more than you want her there, but she is doing it for him.

 

You're flip-flopping on who you blame...is it your friends or the women?

[Bangle]

 

You're flip-flopping on who you blame...is it your friends or the women?

 

Both are equally to blame.

[Nikki Sahagin]

Don't assume all modern women want the same.

Some people, women AND men are controlling.

No, in a healthy relationship, you don't give up your friends. The essence of the argument is, is he giving up your friendship because she has forced him to? Or because he just isn't that bothered?

There are plenty of people who throw their friends away as soon as they get into a relationship, almost as if they were using them as something to pass the time before they found someone they get to have sex with every night.

Similarly, there are people who ruin their relationships by spending too much time with their friends and not enough in the relationship.

Its a balance which your friend hasn't got.

 

You need to address this with him and if he doesn't bother with you, then ultimately it is his fault. Even if his girlfriend is forcing him not to see you, which we can't be sure of, well if he is going to be pathetic enough to let her dominate his life in this way, say F him. He could easily stand up to her and say I'm going to see my friend. He has chosen not to.

[Bangle]

Don't assume all modern women want the same.

 

From my perspective it seems that all modern women want to control their relationships and expect their boyfriends to drop everything at the drop of a hat. I know one girl who is a few years younger who hardly sees her friends and spends most weeknights and weekends with her boyfriend in front of the television. Again it is very common and it is not the way I can live, so my entire reason for these posts is "do you have to be whipped to have a successful relationship?"

[Nikki Sahagin]

From my perspective it seems that all modern women want to control their relationships and expect their boyfriends to drop everything at the drop of a hat. I know one girl who is a few years younger who hardly sees her friends and spends most weeknights and weekends with her boyfriend in front of the television. Again it is very common and it is not the way I can live, so my entire reason for these posts is "do you have to be whipped to have a successful relationship?"

 

Yes from your perspective, but that doesn't make it universally true. Thats all i'm trying to get across. And any relationship can be successful, it depends what you want from a relationship. If you want to be whipped and to you thats a successful relationship, then you have it. If that isn't what you want, then you find successful relationships in other ways. Any type of relationship can be successful if it is what both want.

[Bangle]

I want to understand how men become whipped in the first place?

[carhill]

It's a simple pavlovian response training, using sex as the reward.

[Bangle]

It's a simple pavlovian response training, using sex as the reward.

 

So it is like dangling a stick of carrott infront of a rabbit?

[carhill]

Find something the rabbit likes and then, with that trigger firmly imprinted in the rabbit, the training process begins

[Bangle]

How tragic.

[Pyro]

That to me is apart of the whole being whipped scenario. How can anyone spend every waking moment with just one person? I'd be so depressed if that happened to me which it won't. I'm very traditional, I make boundaries before I get into a relationship with someone. I let them know that I need and want time to spend with family, friends and myself. That's not to say she'll play second fiddle to any of these things, but if a woman thinks I am going to be at her beck and call every five minutes and that I'd rather spend an evening with her watching sitcoms instead of being with friends then she is mistaken.

 

I always look to strike a balance between a girlfriend and friends and if a woman has a problem with that then she gets left off my list of things to do.

 

I agree that its very unhealthy to speand every waking moment with your SO.

 

But what about those whom have very few friends?

 

I myself see my friends less and less now due to the fact we are all at the typical age of getting married and starting a family.

I get that, and also used quotes. But the "nice guy in quotes" label is still confusing the hell out of nice, balanced guys -- they have no idea how to act in order to have the best chance of scoring with the ladies.

 

Because the nice, balanced guys are hearing, "Don't be a 'nice guy'" when what they should be told is, "Don't be a pussy-doormat." If that makes sense?

 

I think if we stopped referring to pussy-doormats as "nice guy in quotes", then we'll be doing everyone a great big service. Let's just start calling them pussy-doormats and not use any quotes...and hopefully things will become clearer, and we'll all get along better.

 

I'm not saying it's 'the' solution, or even a good one...I'm just saying let's try doing something different and hopefully we'll start getting better results. (And again, I'm talking about both genders.)

 

you are preaching to the choir.

 

Its not me that needs the help in this matter.

 

I am all aboard for any opportunity to decrease the number of bitter crybabies in this world.