maverick35 Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 My experience with dating over the years have made me a strong believer in "After 2-3 dates, if you are still wondering, she likes you or not, chances are very strong that she doesn't".....same goes about feelings in the other direction too. This has kept me from ending up in one-sided situations for long and I usually bail out the moment I sniff ambiguity....but that does leave mild "what if" regrets too. I am curious how does it work for folks over here. Do your LTRs always start with sparks flying equally on both sides? Did it ever happen that one person took time to make up the mind? How long is too long to be on the same page?
D-D Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 I often wondered myself about this. I dated a girl last year that seemed interested when we were together, but would almost never call me or text me. I was always the one calling or planning dates. She finally admitted after almost 2 months of seeing each other that she didn't think there was enough chemistry to continue seeing each other. So, in hindsight, I saw the signs and should have split earlier. Seeing someone now who has been pretty good about making contact by calling or e-mailing me through the week (basically showing interest). Been out a few times, and while I like her, I'm not sure how interested I am. We get along really well and have great conversations, but I don't seem as attracted to her as I was on the outset of us meeting. But don't necessarily want to split either as maybe things will develop more. Dating is never black and white (at least in my limited experience). Every person and situation is unique and you just have to try and make the best of it. People always say you know when it's right, but I haven't met anyone where this phrase rang true for me. Maybe I haven't met the right person yet?
ADF Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Ambiguity is bad. Some people might say otherwise, but they probably hae a different idea of dating than you seem to. If you see dating as a search for loe and companionship, then ambiguity is the last thing you want. People who like ambiguity usuallu see dating as a sort of predator/prey interaction, and use ambiguity as a tool of emotional manipulation.
SomewhatExperienced Posted May 19, 2010 Posted May 19, 2010 Funny, I was giving advice to a ladyfriend and she was going through this "ambiguous" issue with the guys she was dating. I told her from my experience once I started wondering if the girl liked me, it was always over at that point, whether I knew it yet or not.
spookie Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 i used to be a firm believer in sparks at first sight, but my current r is proving me all wrong. i dont think either of us knew how we felt about the other, past wanting to see each other again, for months. if wed have held that against each other, we never would have gotten to the touchy feely unambiguous honeymoon period that were finally in after half a year of dating. i think sometimes it pays off to let go of expectations and just go with the flow, as long as no one is disrespecting anyone else.
Crazy Magnet Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 I run away from men that are ambiguous. In my experience, these men are the ones who want a bunch of no strings attached sex which I don't do. It might not be a bad thing for some people, but it doesn't fit with my own personal style of dating.
St. Nick Posted May 20, 2010 Posted May 20, 2010 Funny, I was giving advice to a ladyfriend and she was going through this "ambiguous" issue with the guys she was dating. I told her from my experience once I started wondering if the girl liked me, it was always over at that point, whether I knew it yet or not. Yup. I agree with this. If you start wondering if she likes you then it's not a good sign and you should move on. The OP is 100% right in leaving if nothing special happens after 2 or 3 dates.
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