Met with ex bf after 1 month! Sunday! what happened!!!!

[wingman2]

Hey guys it's me again. I honestly just don't know where things are going for me. I'm trying hard to render this push/pull thing. I'm talking to her on my terms, then of course when she writes me I always write the next day or several hours later. However I just feel like I might be doing something wrong because this is getting me no where.

 

She wrote me again last night but I didn't respond till today because I don't want to make myself too available for her. She responded back asking how my day is and I told her it's been good. That I just got back from taking my dog to the vet and found out he has a third breed in him I didn't know about. Sure it may not sound too exciting but I'm trying to pave way so that me and her will actually have a spark in a conversation, however she's always really dull everytime we talk. Once again she's just replying with messages like "oh that sounds cool, that's good, cool, etc, and not really saying anything else. I just wonder why she keeps contacting me if she obviously doesn't really want to talk. What could she be wanting from me then? Is there something in particular she wants to talk about but is expecting me to bring it up or perhaps she can't herself? Does she just want to use me to help get over me? Those are one of my biggest fears. Also I know I don't want to make myself too available to her and neither do I want to be in the friend zone.

 

I feel like I've been pretty boring to her myself but it's mostly because I just feel so uncomfortable asking her any questions and she never keeps the conversation going. When we text eachother is it normal for me to just seem kind of distant and disinterested? Like just write a few pointless words and then take a few hours and write more? That's sort of how it's been but I see it on her end too. When I text her or call her should I really just be myself? like just be fun and not be afraid to talk or is it reasonable to keep things kind of low and not say much? I just really don't know but I'm almost on the verge of just asking her if there is anything she wants to talk about in particular or what exactly are her intentions for wanting to talk.

 

Also I am over her, as in I don't have feelings anymore but I still love her and want her back. It's difficult. I just don't understand what exactly she's doing.

 

I was thinking of sending her this funny youtube video I saw earlier but I don't even know if that's a good idea.

[supersub]

Hey!!! The date has been fixed yesterday afternoon! We were sending each other emails as every single day from the past three days (

) and I mentioned that I had already talked to my boss about quitting, so he congratulated me and said "well, ok, let's fix a day so we can meet and you'll tell me all about this new job. Saturday afternoon?" So that's it!!! We're meeting tomorrow afternoon!!!! I don't know if we're going out or what, the weather is awful here and it's cold but who knows right?

 

I'm relaxed though, I'm trying not to get my hopes high and work with what happens at the moment.

 

I'll keep you posted!!!!

 

Btw, I'm glad you're doing better. So you never talked to your ex again?

It's interesting that you notice that you still may have some trusting issues with her. It would have been really complicated and tough for you to work things out with her if you still can't trust her completely. I don't know, I think it would be hard. Perhaps you need more time, who knows? you never know what's going to happen tomorrow, right? in the meantime, it's good that you're recovering yourself from it, analyzing how you feel and the thoughts that come to your mind so you can come up with a better understanding of the whole experiencie for future times!

 

Wish you the best! Let's keep in touch, ok? I will still have to fill you in with the details of my everyday story LOL!!!

 

 

Definitely Lull,

 

I will be staying on here offering the best advice I can to you and anyone else that needs my help. Like you said; Lets stay in touch!

 

Here's the thing, you started this post, and honestly, I thought you had the best chance of the two of us, because having lived my situation I think your reconciliation is real. My situation after some thought was half arsed by the other party. I'll explain in a moment.

 

The fact that you guys are communicating on a 50-50 basis is a good thing, its real. If I'm honest looking back, I was probably more into the reconciliation than she was. However I do have closure, and that's what counts! Either way I can smile tonight, and I will sleep just fine. (Going out soon with Friends!)

 

This week, like I said the date went well, but when it got down to the nitty gritty she made excuses. I felt like there was something not right, and I asked if there was currently someone else in her life, because previously she said she wanted to date other people. It was at this point that she flipped out and left. Now honestly? Would you flip out over a question that was true or not true? I think there was maybe something to it, maybe not, but at the end of the day regardless, she wouldn't pull the rug that fast if she had true feelings for me.

 

I think that she was not as into reconciling as I was despite the fact that she seemed to show more emotion and affection than me when we were together. I know she hated me questioning her. But there was something that didn't seem quite right.

 

Now we come to the end of this week, and I'll be totally honest. She had reeled me in. I talked to her yesterday and today about why the reconciliation failed so bad. I told her that I didn't understand and was confused, but she was still adamant, no way we were getting back together, and while talking on the phone I liken it to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, forced to drink the blood of the dead:sick: which sent him turning against what was he knew was right. I was reeled in trying to save it (WTF was I doing!?), but then when I got off the phone I realized its not her, or the relationship, its the fact that I had worked hard on reconciling that was bothering me. Of course in her mind the tables had been turned on me.

 

Each time after a few hours I realized this, and today I know 100 percent that I am over her, just gutted that my attempts at recon had failed, it was this failure and not her that was bothering me. It was pride.

 

Once I realized this I sent a final email saying that it was correct to stay where we are, and that I was just confused, wished her well etc.

 

Now I'm ready to find someone new, I do not want or need this BS in my life. I was friendly in the email but to be honest I will treat her like nuclear waste if I ever see her, i.e will stay away, I have no interest. Even the recon for me, was never 100 percent in my mind because I never felt she was that invested except when we were together, and this latest situation, her reaction has truly destroyed any residual feelings. Like I said I was confused as to whether I was grieving her, or the reconciliation failing this week, but realized quickly it was the latter. Very confusing at first, but I came through.

 

I have no further plans even in the back of my mind to be with her, I just want to move forward and find somebody new.

 

In my mind I am the prize, still am, I'm not down, I don't feel for her, I just feel like me again like before I met her, and that's a great platform to meet someone new! So maybe this process was worth it!

 

As far as I'm concerned I walked the tightrope, I fell at the end, but I fell into the safety net, and looked up at the crowd with a smile!

 

Keep going Lull, and remember my post here is no reflection on your situation. I think your odds are far greater than mine, keep going. You can do it!

 

Let me know how it goes!

 

Best to you!

 

Supersub

[supersub]

Hey guys it's me again. I honestly just don't know where things are going for me. I'm trying hard to render this push/pull thing. I'm talking to her on my terms, then of course when she writes me I always write the next day or several hours later. However I just feel like I might be doing something wrong because this is getting me no where.

 

She wrote me again last night but I didn't respond till today because I don't want to make myself too available for her. She responded back asking how my day is and I told her it's been good. That I just got back from taking my dog to the vet and found out he has a third breed in him I didn't know about. Sure it may not sound too exciting but I'm trying to pave way so that me and her will actually have a spark in a conversation, however she's always really dull everytime we talk. Once again she's just replying with messages like "oh that sounds cool, that's good, cool, etc, and not really saying anything else. I just wonder why she keeps contacting me if she obviously doesn't really want to talk. What could she be wanting from me then? Is there something in particular she wants to talk about but is expecting me to bring it up or perhaps she can't herself? Does she just want to use me to help get over me? Those are one of my biggest fears. Also I know I don't want to make myself too available to her and neither do I want to be in the friend zone.

 

I feel like I've been pretty boring to her myself but it's mostly because I just feel so uncomfortable asking her any questions and she never keeps the conversation going. When we text eachother is it normal for me to just seem kind of distant and disinterested? Like just write a few pointless words and then take a few hours and write more? That's sort of how it's been but I see it on her end too. When I text her or call her should I really just be myself? like just be fun and not be afraid to talk or is it reasonable to keep things kind of low and not say much? I just really don't know but I'm almost on the verge of just asking her if there is anything she wants to talk about in particular or what exactly are her intentions for wanting to talk.

 

Also I am over her, as in I don't have feelings anymore but I still love her and want her back. It's difficult. I just don't understand what exactly she's doing.

 

I was thinking of sending her this funny youtube video I saw earlier but I don't even know if that's a good idea.

 

Go off her radar! Do not respond to any text, and see if she comes back saying that she truly wants to get back, then you wo'nt be doing this which is just residual feelings and her weening her way off you . We have told you this many times. Now do it!!!

[wingman2]

Are u saying the reason she keeps contacting me really is to help her get over me?

[lullaby]

Definitely Lull,

 

I will be staying on here offering the best advice I can to you and anyone else that needs my help. Like you said; Lets stay in touch!

 

Here's the thing, you started this post, and honestly, I thought you had the best chance of the two of us, because having lived my situation I think your reconciliation is real. My situation after some thought was half arsed by the other party. I'll explain in a moment.

 

The fact that you guys are communicating on a 50-50 basis is a good thing, its real. If I'm honest looking back, I was probably more into the reconciliation than she was. However I do have closure, and that's what counts! Either way I can smile tonight, and I will sleep just fine. (Going out soon with Friends!)

 

This week, like I said the date went well, but when it got down to the nitty gritty she made excuses. I felt like there was something not right, and I asked if there was currently someone else in her life, because previously she said she wanted to date other people. It was at this point that she flipped out and left. Now honestly? Would you flip out over a question that was true or not true? I think there was maybe something to it, maybe not, but at the end of the day regardless, she wouldn't pull the rug that fast if she had true feelings for me.

 

I think that she was not as into reconciling as I was despite the fact that she seemed to show more emotion and affection than me when we were together. I know she hated me questioning her. But there was something that didn't seem quite right.

 

Now we come to the end of this week, and I'll be totally honest. She had reeled me in. I talked to her yesterday and today about why the reconciliation failed so bad. I told her that I didn't understand and was confused, but she was still adamant, no way we were getting back together, and while talking on the phone I liken it to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, forced to drink the blood of the dead:sick: which sent him turning against what was he knew was right. I was reeled in trying to save it (WTF was I doing!?), but then when I got off the phone I realized its not her, or the relationship, its the fact that I had worked hard on reconciling that was bothering me. Of course in her mind the tables had been turned on me.

 

Each time after a few hours I realized this, and today I know 100 percent that I am over her, just gutted that my attempts at recon had failed, it was this failure and not her that was bothering me. It was pride.

Once I realized this I sent a final email saying that it was correct to stay where we are, and that I was just confused, wished her well etc.

 

Now I'm ready to find someone new, I do not want or need this BS in my life. I was friendly in the email but to be honest I will treat her like nuclear waste if I ever see her, i.e will stay away, I have no interest. Even the recon for me, was never 100 percent in my mind because I never felt she was that invested except when we were together, and this latest situation, her reaction has truly destroyed any residual feelings. Like I said I was confused as to whether I was grieving her, or the reconciliation failing this week, but realized quickly it was the latter. Very confusing at first, but I came through.

 

I have no further plans even in the back of my mind to be with her, I just want to move forward and find somebody new.

 

In my mind I am the prize, still am, I'm not down, I don't feel for her, I just feel like me again like before I met her, and that's a great platform to meet someone new! So maybe this process was worth it!

 

As far as I'm concerned I walked the tightrope, I fell at the end, but I fell into the safety net, and looked up at the crowd with a smile!

 

Keep going Lull, and remember my post here is no reflection on your situation. I think your odds are far greater than mine, keep going. You can do it!

 

Let me know how it goes!

 

Best to you!

 

Supersub

 

Sup!!! Wow! what a conclusion, right? I mean the fact that you realized it was more about hurting your pride and not so much because it was her you wanted. I did think you had chances of getting back with her though, but again, you know her, not me.

 

Either way, like you said in other post, you win, because you still tried and now you're ready to move forward because there are no more residual feelings for this relationship.

 

It is a tiring process and if there is not 50 50 involvement, I don't see the point. If that is your case, then it's the best you can do because even if she still loves you, it's clear that she was not providing the necessary effort to make it work.

 

Of course you're the prize and if you keep this way, there'll be someone who truly appreciate you and there won't be no effort needed.

"As far as I'm concerned I walked the tightrope, I fell at the end, but I fell into the safety net, and looked up at the crowd with a smile"- you couldn't have put it in better words! I'm proud of you!

 

As from my end, well, I don't know. I could use some insight here. I've just came from my "date", don't know what it was actually. We went to have coffee in Puerto Madero again, romanticism was in the air. We talked a lot, and he delivered many signs and said many things implying he would like to be with me. For example, my birthday is next week and he said "I'll like to come and see you. Not just go to the party". He also said "Now I'll be jealous of your new male co-workers". Things like that, and well, there is also that sexual tension because it was obvious we were both wanting to touch and kiss.

 

In fact, at one moment when we where returning, we were making jokes about what our next date should be, and he said "well, I planned this one, you do the next one" and I said "but I'm a lady here, I can't give myself so easily to a man" and he said "well, don't play with fire, don't put ideas in my mind", and I said "why? because if you let yourself go, we'll be in trouble?" and he replied "yes, but in good trouble" and he smiled. Don't know if I make myself clear, it was all a word game implying that we wanted to be together.

 

But when we arrived at my place, we were in the car, and I really hoped he would have kissed me by then, at least some sort of contact. And he didn't. He said "well, our next date could be to have an ice cream then" and kept staring at me. (we had mentioned the ice cream before as implying that we would have to coddle after eating it) And I did the worst thing ever and couldn't control myself and gave him a kiss!!!!!! He didn't push me back though, but it was only a kiss. I said nothing and got off the car.

 

WTF????? Can you understand? Is it that he is so into romance now that he is moving so slow? it's not that I want sex right away, but I'm human and would like to have some sort of physical contact, a hug, a kiss. Because he did say a lot of romantic things, on the emails, on the phone, and his body language expressed love, not friendship, but why didn't he kiss me or make me stay? (he had to go and have dinner with his father though, and I knew it was true because his father called and I saw his number on the ID caller)

 

I then sent him a text saying I was sorry, that I didn't think and just did what I felt. He replied saying "It is fine not to think some times. The date was great from beginning to end for me." (so the kiss didn't "bother" him ) But I was truly hopping us to spend more time together.

 

What do I do now? should I reply?

I know we're taking things slow, and I'll see him next weekend on my birthday, but I don't want to be in a friend zone, it's been 3 weeks since our reconnection process, with tons of emails, and now another date, that HE planned!!!

 

I don't want to ask any questions but I'm getting tired of playing games, a few are ok, but I'm a grown up, I don't have 15 years old. The feelings are there, don't know if we'll be back and he doesn't know either, but we could still spend a good time together and at least share a kiss, a hug. Does he think that he'll win me over with simple hints?

 

I'm loosing my mind

[supersub]

Sup!!! Wow! what a conclusion, right? I mean the fact that you realized it was more about hurting your pride and not so much because it was her you wanted. I did think you had chances of getting back with her though, but again, you know her, not me.

 

Either way, like you said in other post, you win, because you still tried and now you're ready to move forward because there are no more residual feelings for this relationship.

 

It is a tiring process and if there is not 50 50 involvement, I don't see the point. If that is your case, then it's the best you can do because even if she still loves you, it's clear that she was not providing the necessary effort to make it work.

 

Of course you're the prize and if you keep this way, there'll be someone who truly appreciate you and there won't be no effort needed.

"As far as I'm concerned I walked the tightrope, I fell at the end, but I fell into the safety net, and looked up at the crowd with a smile"- you couldn't have put it in better words! I'm proud of you!

 

As from my end, well, I don't know. I could use some insight here. I've just came from my "date", don't know what it was actually. We went to have coffee in Puerto Madero again, romanticism was in the air. We talked a lot, and he delivered many signs and said many things implying he would like to be with me. For example, my birthday is next week and he said "I'll like to come and see you. Not just go to the party". He also said "Now I'll be jealous of your new male co-workers". Things like that, and well, there is also that sexual tension because it was obvious we were both wanting to touch and kiss.

 

In fact, at one moment when we where returning, we were making jokes about what our next date should be, and he said "well, I planned this one, you do the next one" and I said "but I'm a lady here, I can't give myself so easily to a man" and he said "well, don't play with fire, don't put ideas in my mind", and I said "why? because if you let yourself go, we'll be in trouble?" and he replied "yes, but in good trouble" and he smiled. Don't know if I make myself clear, it was all a word game implying that we wanted to be together.

 

But when we arrived at my place, we were in the car, and I really hoped he would have kissed me by then, at least some sort of contact. And he didn't. He said "well, our next date could be to have an ice cream then" and kept staring at me. (we had mentioned the ice cream before as implying that we would have to coddle after eating it) And I did the worst thing ever and couldn't control myself and gave him a kiss!!!!!! He didn't push me back though, but it was only a kiss. I said nothing and got off the car.

 

WTF????? Can you understand? Is it that he is so into romance now that he is moving so slow? it's not that I want sex right away, but I'm human and would like to have some sort of physical contact, a hug, a kiss. Because he did say a lot of romantic things, on the emails, on the phone, and his body language expressed love, not friendship, but why didn't he kiss me or make me stay? (he had to go and have dinner with his father though, and I knew it was true because his father called and I saw his number on the ID caller)

 

I then sent him a text saying I was sorry, that I didn't think and just did what I felt. He replied saying "It is fine not to think some times. The date was great from beginning to end for me." (so the kiss didn't "bother" him ) But I was truly hopping us to spend more time together.

 

What do I do now? should I reply?

I know we're taking things slow, and I'll see him next weekend on my birthday, but I don't want to be in a friend zone, it's been 3 weeks since our reconnection process, with tons of emails, and now another date, that HE planned!!!

 

I don't want to ask any questions but I'm getting tired of playing games, a few are ok, but I'm a grown up, I don't have 15 years old. The feelings are there, don't know if we'll be back and he doesn't know either, but we could still spend a good time together and at least share a kiss, a hug. Does he think that he'll win me over with simple hints?

 

I'm loosing my mind

 

I think you are golden Lull:cool:, just keep taking it slow, no pushing at this point. Lets see what happens at the party. I think hes being kind of cool about it. I was like that in the week, while she was more touchy, feely. I think that he is just going slow to protect himself a little, and being cool. Just don't over-analyze. Hard not to, but don't. You are still in very well here, and everything will happen naturally. Don't rush it. I want this to be a success.

 

Does this give you some perspective?

 

Sup

[wingman2]

Alright this is weird guys. As u know two nights ago she asked if I wanted to talk. Well I was asleep then so I never got back to her but I got back to her yesterday telling her that I was hanging out with my friend and if she wanted to talk to me later she can but what do you know she never got back to me. I know she was there too, her myspace said she was on yesterday. This is very unusual because sshe normally never does this. Could this mean she has no interest in getting back with me?

 

This was before I read ur last post btw sup. It just aggrivates me tha she'll put me off. Should I be worried?

[lullaby]

I think you are golden Lull:cool:, just keep taking it slow, no pushing at this point. Lets see what happens at the party. I think hes being kind of cool about it. I was like that in the week, while she was more touchy, feely. I think that he is just going slow to protect himself a little, and being cool. Just don't over-analyze. Hard not to, but don't. You are still in very well here, and everything will happen naturally. Don't rush it. I want this to be a success.

 

Does this give you some perspective?

 

Sup

 

Hi Sup!!! thanks for your fast reply! So you think I'm in a good position! It could be that the one involved always sees everything more complicated and those looking from the outside get the whole picture, right?

my worst fear is of having committed a huge mistake with the kiss, I feel so stupid about that because I'm sure he was expecting for a perfect time to do that, and yesterday was not that moment.

So I guess I just have to wait. What is terrible is that we're on a national holiday here, so we've like two more free days without work and it's going to drive me crazy because I'd love to be with him, but he does have 2 exams this week and I know he'll be studying.

Besides, he made really clear that he's NOT seing anyone, HASN'T seen anyone and WON'T see anyone LOL!!!

I guess I'm just nitpicking and just have to relax. He still loves me, I know that, his eyes told me that and I have to be patient and wait for the following weekend.

I'll try to keep cool and no contact him

 

How you're doing btw???

[lullaby]

Alright this is weird guys. As u know two nights ago she asked if I wanted to talk. Well I was asleep then so I never got back to her but I got back to her yesterday telling her that I was hanging out with my friend and if she wanted to talk to me later she can but what do you know she never got back to me. I know she was there too, her myspace said she was on yesterday. This is very unusual because sshe normally never does this. Could this mean she has no interest in getting back with me?

 

This was before I read ur last post btw sup. It just aggrivates me tha she'll put me off. Should I be worried?

 

Wing, I really don't know how you are still following this girl's actions. Don't know how many times we've told you to stop over-analyzing and just go off her radar!!! You can't ask questions that she doesn't want to answer. At the same time, whenever she contacts you, you play it hard to get and this game is too obvious at this point with her, she knows and may get even more angry when she sees you're doing that, but on the other hand, you can't be too available for her.

So you know what is the best solution to that? GO NO CONTACT! I'm sorry I have to say it like this, but we're not the only ones telling you that, if you don't stay away from her, you'll never see what you really feel.

If not, just call her and ask her to meet and ask all the things you want to ask and that's it, then you'll see what the situation is like.

But please, have more pride, stop thinking about it. It's been too long and honestly, it's driving me crazy seeing you freaked out like this.

I'm sorry, but I had to say it. You are "the prize" as Sup says, please believe it and do sth about it.

[supersub]

Hi Sup!!! thanks for your fast reply! So you think I'm in a good position! It could be that the one involved always sees everything more complicated and those looking from the outside get the whole picture, right?

my worst fear is of having committed a huge mistake with the kiss, I feel so stupid about that because I'm sure he was expecting for a perfect time to do that, and yesterday was not that moment.

So I guess I just have to wait. What is terrible is that we're on a national holiday here, so we've like two more free days without work and it's going to drive me crazy because I'd love to be with him, but he does have 2 exams this week and I know he'll be studying.

Besides, he made really clear that he's NOT seing anyone, HASN'T seen anyone and WON'T see anyone LOL!!!

I guess I'm just nitpicking and just have to relax. He still loves me, I know that, his eyes told me that and I have to be patient and wait for the following weekend.

I'll try to keep cool and no contact him

 

How you're doing btw???

 

Just keep on doing what you are doing. Its only a few days remember that.

 

Me? I'm doing good, but as I have had longer to digest the situation and conversations we had, it all seems weird.

 

The fact that she pulled away so quick after my questioning, and then some things she said just don't make sense.

 

She said on the phone Friday that misses me, and cares for me but doesn't want me, and I understand that.

 

I just don't know what she was doing reconnecting. I don't believe her heart was fully in it.

 

I think that there is someone else, and that is fine. I am not angry about it. I just don't get why she came back.

 

She did catch me off guard. See these games just make you feel empty.

 

I just want to forget, but I cannot seem to let last week go. I am having trouble with it Lull. Its not her, its just the ****tyness of the situation that makes no sense.

 

Oh btw. She accidentally texted me yesterday. She was having a convo with someone else. I swear you couldn't write this stuff if you tried. I have never been in a situation like this EVER, and I never want to go through this again.

 

Is it possible that she is just confused? Is it possible that shes hiding her feelings because she is scared of showing them, because we have both agreed that there is 'something' there, we just cant seem to figure out what it is.

 

Don't think I can wait to find out either.

 

God I just want to meet someone else.

[lullaby]

Just keep on doing what you are doing. Its only a few days remember that.

 

Me? I'm doing good, but as I have had longer to digest the situation and conversations we had, it all seems weird.

 

The fact that she pulled away so quick after my questioning, and then some things she said just don't make sense.

 

She said on the phone Friday that misses me, and cares for me but doesn't want me, and I understand that.

 

I just don't know what she was doing reconnecting. I don't believe her heart was fully in it.

 

I think that there is someone else, and that is fine. I am not angry about it. I just don't get why she came back.

 

She did catch me off guard. See these games just make you feel empty.

 

I just want to forget, but I cannot seem to let last week go. I am having trouble with it Lull. Its not her, its just the ****tyness of the situation that makes no sense.

 

Oh btw. She accidentally texted me yesterday. She was having a convo with someone else. I swear you couldn't write this stuff if you tried. I have never been in a situation like this EVER, and I never want to go through this again.

 

Is it possible that she is just confused? Is it possible that shes hiding her feelings because she is scared of showing them, because we have both agreed that there is 'something' there, we just cant seem to figure out what it is.

 

Don't think I can wait to find out either.

 

God I just want to meet someone else.

 

Hi Sup!! Yes, I totally think she is pretty confused and I don't believe she sent you that text by mistake, it's quite a coincidence right?

 

I guess she is not ready to let go yet but at the same time, she's not ready to commit fully to a reconciliation. The problem is that she is the one that broke up the relationship and you can't be waiting around for her to decide.

 

As you said to me, if there is someone else, who cares? that person is not you, and poor him, because she still contacts you.

 

The best you can do is to move on, at least now, because if you're not getting what you deserve from her, what is the point?

 

Of course you're not immune and won't be able to forget last week in a split of a second but you will with time. Just try to hang on and let's see what happens, ok?

 

From my end, I'm having a hard time controlling myself not to contact him, at least with a silly text, not to see him, but to put things in a funny friendly way again... would that be too bad?

[supersub]

Hi Sup!! Yes, I totally think she is pretty confused and I don't believe she sent you that text by mistake, it's quite a coincidence right?

 

I guess she is not ready to let go yet but at the same time, she's not ready to commit fully to a reconciliation. The problem is that she is the one that broke up the relationship and you can't be waiting around for her to decide.

 

As you said to me, if there is someone else, who cares? that person is not you, and poor him, because she still contacts you.

 

The best you can do is to move on, at least now, because if you're not getting what you deserve from her, what is the point?

 

Of course you're not immune and won't be able to forget last week in a split of a second but you will with time. Just try to hang on and let's see what happens, ok?

 

From my end, I'm having a hard time controlling myself not to contact him, at least with a silly text, not to see him, but to put things in a funny friendly way again... would that be too bad?

 

Probably not if its light and fluffy, I think that would be okay, maybe wait until Tuesday. Not on the weekend. You want him to know you are busy.

 

Everything will be okay, remember your situation has far better promise than mine.

 

I personally feel like I'm being put up against others, which is fine. That's where I shine by disappearing into scarcity, and moving on to better things. I'll let them fight over her, cos I will not. She wants a bunch of orbiters to fight over her. I wont.

 

I just want to meet someone else, I mean she doesn't know what she wants.

 

I know the txt wasn't for me, but I did think it was funny that whoever she was texting, she was obviously thinking about me at the same time. Even if she was ragging on me..

 

You are right, she would now have to come back 100 percent saying she wants it to work for me to even consider. Cos I will not be contacting again. She called it off. She can fix it. Not my problem anymore.

 

One question though Lull? What is she doing? This is so weird.

[lullaby]

Probably not if its light and fluffy, I think that would be okay, maybe wait until Tuesday. Not on the weekend. You want him to know you are busy.

 

Everything will be okay, remember your situation has far better promise than mine.

 

I personally feel like I'm being put up against others, which is fine. That's where I shine by disappearing into scarcity, and moving on to better things. I'll let them fight over her, cos I will not. She wants a bunch of orbiters to fight over her. I wont.

 

I just want to meet someone else, I mean she doesn't know what she wants.

 

I know the txt wasn't for me, but I did think it was funny that whoever she was texting, she was obviously thinking about me at the same time. Even if she was ragging on me..

 

You are right, she would now have to come back 100 percent saying she wants it to work for me to even consider. Cos I will not be contacting again. She called it off. She can fix it. Not my problem anymore.

 

One question though Lull? What is she doing? This is so weird.

 

I don't think I can wait till Tuesday Sup!!! Because he knows I'm at home studying because he knows me and I told him I had a lot to read for the uni, just like him, so there's no point is acting as if I were busy.

 

I'll let you know if I do something about it.

 

What is she doing? I think she doesn't want to loose you but it's still unsure about what to do so she acts this way. When I broke up with my previous bf, I did that, went on and off and it was just that I knew I loved him but didn't know how to provide what he needed, until he finally found someone else and got tired of waiting for me.

 

You should not wait for her to come, and if she does (which I believe she will, don't know, woman's intuition perhaps), then she'll have to be 100 committed to convince you. If not, there is no point.

[supersub]

I don't think I can wait till Tuesday Sup!!! Because he knows I'm at home studying because he knows me and I told him I had a lot to read for the uni, just like him, so there's no point is acting as if I were busy.

 

I'll let you know if I do something about it.

 

What is she doing? I think she doesn't want to loose you but it's still unsure about what to do so she acts this way. When I broke up with my previous bf, I did that, went on and off and it was just that I knew I loved him but didn't know how to provide what he needed, until he finally found someone else and got tired of waiting for me.

 

You should not wait for her to come, and if she does (which I believe she will, don't know, woman's intuition perhaps), then she'll have to be 100 committed to convince you. If not, there is no point.

 

Well If it can't wait and its light and fluffy, then I don't see why it would be a problem.

 

Well let me say this, I am tired of it, and I do need to move on, will not wait. I already got spiked again in the heart this week, it was a cruel reminder. Can I honestly risk that again?

 

I know deep down there is 'something' there, but its not enough for me to continue down this path because she is not showing it, or I am way off base and she really doesn't want to know, but like I said the other day. When you have a disagreement it doesn't just shut off feelings like a light switch.

 

Problem is life is short and I cannot keep doing this!

 

Why do you think she will come around again? I personally think this, but it will be a long time, and it will be when I have moved forward.

[lullaby]

Well If it can't wait and its light and fluffy, then I don't see why it would be a problem.

 

Well let me say this, I am tired of it, and I do need to move on, will not wait. I already got spiked again in the heart this week, it was a cruel reminder. Can I honestly risk that again?

 

I know deep down there is 'something' there, but its not enough for me to continue down this path because she is not showing it, or I am way off base and she really doesn't want to know, but like I said the other day. When you have a disagreement it doesn't just shut off feelings like a light switch.

 

Problem is life is short and I cannot keep doing this!

 

Why do you think she will come around again? I personally think this, but it will be a long time, and it will be when I have moved forward.

 

You're right on the money Sub. Life is short and you can't keep doing this.

I think she will come around again because she is confused and not ready to let go of you, if not, she wouldn't have appeared at all after 4 or 5 months of NC, but my fear is that it can be too late when she decides to do so. Mostly, because if you are this "indifferent" to her, then she'll see something is missing from her life and will contact you, but who knows?

She has to make up her mind about what she wants before acting.

 

Sadly, from what you told me, she is not showing it right now and you've done enough. You're the dumpee and she should give her all to win you back.

 

Either way, I repeat, you win because you did all you could.

 

Now that I think of it, even if my ex showed signs of emotions during our emails and when we met, he is quite lineal, neutral, and does not give me too many confusing hints, they all go in one direction "I still love you", and I recon that's a good sign, right? Meaning he's not into playing with my feelings, just going cautious and with care so this time we can work it out. He could have just moved on and find someone else, but apparently he hasn't and there's sth that still makes him choose me.

 

I did send the text a moment ago. Just wrote "Could this afternoon be more boring and sleepy? I'm fed up with this history books! Hope your study afternoon goes well. Kisses" Because here it's raining cats and dogs so it's quite boring to be studying and not being with someone LOL!

Still no answer, but it's OK. He doesn't have to answer, hope he will but let's see....

[supersub]

You're right on the money Sub. Life is short and you can't keep doing this.

I think she will come around again because she is confused and not ready to let go of you, if not, she wouldn't have appeared at all after 4 or 5 months of NC, but my fear is that it can be too late when she decides to do so. Mostly, because if you are this "indifferent" to her, then she'll see something is missing from her life and will contact you, but who knows?

She has to make up her mind about what she wants before acting.

 

Sadly, from what you told me, she is not showing it right now and you've done enough. You're the dumpee and she should give her all to win you back.

 

Either way, I repeat, you win because you did all you could.

 

Now that I think of it, even if my ex showed signs of emotions during our emails and when we met, he is quite lineal, neutral, and does not give me too many confusing hints, they all go in one direction "I still love you", and I recon that's a good sign, right? Meaning he's not into playing with my feelings, just going cautious and with care so this time we can work it out. He could have just moved on and find someone else, but apparently he hasn't and there's sth that still makes him choose me.

 

I did send the text a moment ago. Just wrote "Could this afternoon be more boring and sleepy? I'm fed up with this history books! Hope your study afternoon goes well. Kisses" Because here it's raining cats and dogs so it's quite boring to be studying and not being with someone LOL!

Still no answer, but it's OK. He doesn't have to answer, hope he will but let's see....

 

 

Thanks Lull, I appreciate your comments.

 

Don't worry if he doesn't respond immediately, just take your time. dont overthink. Don't worry, Remember, remember, don't over think or worry. Just let it happen. It will come around.

 

You know I feel empty today? I had such high hopes for us. Its a shame that she was not as willing as I was.

 

Its been the first time in a few weeks where I have been a little blue, but its nothing like it was back in December when we split.

 

The good thing is that I have no urge to contact, or be around her, even if I had the opportunity. If she called right now, I wouldn't pick up, and that's a good thing.

 

I am proud that I am a gutsy guy who gave it a shot. I think its very noble also what you are doing. You are no coward and this stuff is hard. You have to be very disciplined and see it through. We all have tough moments, but we are not gutless. This stuff is hard. You should be proud of yourself no matter what happens. It keeps your power up.

[lullaby]

Thanks Lull, I appreciate your comments.

 

Don't worry if he doesn't respond immediately, just take your time. dont overthink. Don't worry, Remember, remember, don't over think or worry. Just let it happen. It will come around.

 

You know I feel empty today? I had such high hopes for us. Its a shame that she was not as willing as I was.

 

Its been the first time in a few weeks where I have been a little blue, but its nothing like it was back in December when we split.

 

The good thing is that I have no urge to contact, or be around her, even if I had the opportunity. If she called right now, I wouldn't pick up, and that's a good thing.

 

I am proud that I am a gutsy guy who gave it a shot. I think its very noble also what you are doing. You are no coward and this stuff is hard. You have to be very disciplined and see it through. We all have tough moments, but we are not gutless. This stuff is hard. You should be proud of yourself no matter what happens. It keeps your power up.

 

I'm back. Took a little nap

 

You have to be proud of yourself, and I'm proud too. Of course, it all depends on the type of situation you're in, but why should we close all doors when there's hope?

I mean, in our cases, we both have shots, and why should we not try it?

And it takes guts as you say to do what we do, it's sometimes easier to act as if nothing happened and just move on.

 

I think this strength you're feeling today is due to the fact that the intriguing question has been answered, at least for today, "is it going to work?" Well, not for now, you never know, but you're not in the gray zone anymore, you're on a definite path that leads you to new happiness because you've changed and learned a lot from this.

 

It's OK for you to be blue, let it happen, this is a roller coaster and you're not a robot, you have feelings. It's OK to miss, to cry, but never to look back and regret, what is done is done and all you need is to look ahead and smile at the lessons learned.

 

I hope he'll come around! I'm anxious now! but everything is fine, days will pass rapidly and this sailing ship of love is not so easy to manage, isn't it? Something inside tells me it's right, and we'll be together sooner than not.

 

You know? just a silly comment about yesterday, when we were returning on the car, he put on some salsa music (he taught me how to dance salsa, he loves it) and the song was saying something about "I still love you bla bla bla" but it was in English, and he knows nothing about English (remember I'm from Argentina, so English is a second language for me because of my career but he knows zero!) So he mentioned "Don't know what the song says, but I love it" and I replied "well, if you knew what the song is about you'd laugh". He then changed it and put another one, that also spoke about love! so he said "It's not that I mean to tell you something, ok? Songs are like this", and I answered "Yes, is there any message you'd like to give me with these songs?" and smiling at the red light he said "I don't need no song to tell you how I feel"

 

Just wanted to share that with you. I woke up hopeful from the nap!

[supersub]

I'm back. Took a little nap

 

You have to be proud of yourself, and I'm proud too. Of course, it all depends on the type of situation you're in, but why should we close all doors when there's hope?

I mean, in our cases, we both have shots, and why should we not try it?

And it takes guts as you say to do what we do, it's sometimes easier to act as if nothing happened and just move on.

 

I think this strength you're feeling today is due to the fact that the intriguing question has been answered, at least for today, "is it going to work?" Well, not for now, you never know, but you're not in the gray zone anymore, you're on a definite path that leads you to new happiness because you've changed and learned a lot from this.

 

It's OK for you to be blue, let it happen, this is a roller coaster and you're not a robot, you have feelings. It's OK to miss, to cry, but never to look back and regret, what is done is done and all you need is to look ahead and smile at the lessons learned.

 

I hope he'll come around! I'm anxious now! but everything is fine, days will pass rapidly and this sailing ship of love is not so easy to manage, isn't it? Something inside tells me it's right, and we'll be together sooner than not.

 

You know? just a silly comment about yesterday, when we were returning on the car, he put on some salsa music (he taught me how to dance salsa, he loves it) and the song was saying something about "I still love you bla bla bla" but it was in English, and he knows nothing about English (remember I'm from Argentina, so English is a second language for me because of my career but he knows zero!) So he mentioned "Don't know what the song says, but I love it" and I replied "well, if you knew what the song is about you'd laugh". He then changed it and put another one, that also spoke about love! so he said "It's not that I mean to tell you something, ok? Songs are like this", and I answered "Yes, is there any message you'd like to give me with these songs?" and smiling at the red light he said "I don't need no song to tell you how I feel"

 

Just wanted to share that with you. I woke up hopeful from the nap!

 

Pleased you are feeling hopeful. That's the way it should be. I am hopeful for you and I think that his comments are very hopeful too.

 

No this stuff is never easy to manage, but you know what I looked in the mirror earlier, and I saw all the work I have done. Back in December I was frail looked awful, now I look in the mirror. I'm fresh faced. My Physique is good. Im okay. I just have to take a step away from all this. Ive been working so hard on things that I needed to for self improvement. Not for her, but for me, for my self esteem. Every day is another step, and thats the important thing. Yes breaking up is hard, reconnecting is hard, but we are all strong enough to get through it.

 

I just hate the fact that sometimes I wonder... You know like I'll daydream for a minute? What if? What if everything had gone right last week? But then maybe it happened for a reason, maybe we're not supposed to be, or maybe it was too soon for one or both of us. Either way too many what ifs to stand still. Have to keep moving.

 

You have the very best chance Lull and I know you will make it happen.

 

Sup.

[lullaby]

Pleased you are feeling hopeful. That's the way it should be. I am hopeful for you and I think that his comments are very hopeful too.

 

No this stuff is never easy to manage, but you know what I looked in the mirror earlier, and I saw all the work I have done. Back in December I was frail looked awful, now I look in the mirror. I'm fresh faced. My Physique is good. Im okay. I just have to take a step away from all this. Ive been working so hard on things that I needed to for self improvement. Not for her, but for me, for my self esteem. Every day is another step, and thats the important thing. Yes breaking up is hard, reconnecting is hard, but we are all strong enough to get through it.

 

I just hate the fact that sometimes I wonder... You know like I'll daydream for a minute? What if? What if everything had gone right last week? But then maybe it happened for a reason, maybe we're not supposed to be, or maybe it was too soon for one or both of us. Either way too many what ifs to stand still. Have to keep moving.

 

You have the very best chance Lull and I know you will make it happen.

 

Sup.

 

Well said, Sup! It shows that you've made through the hard process and you're on the surface again, ready to start anew.

 

No doubt it happened for a reason, maybe just for you to realize how strong you're now, and everything you accomplished. Maybe we still don't know the reason why, but who knows?

 

It's impossible not to think "what if?" because deep down inside you, it was your truly desire, to make things work, but as you said, you have to keep moving with your head up.

 

Don't have much to say, only that I'm proud of you and love reading you like this. Even if it hurts a little inside, or if the "ifs" make attempts to destroy you and drive you crazy, you have the necessary strength to keep looking in the mirror and smile.

 

No response yet, but I'm keeping it cool, I know it'll happen

 

Thanks a lot Sup!

[supersub]

Well said, Sup! It shows that you've made through the hard process and you're on the surface again, ready to start anew.

 

No doubt it happened for a reason, maybe just for you to realize how strong you're now, and everything you accomplished. Maybe we still don't know the reason why, but who knows?

 

It's impossible not to think "what if?" because deep down inside you, it was your truly desire, to make things work, but as you said, you have to keep moving with your head up.

 

Don't have much to say, only that I'm proud of you and love reading you like this. Even if it hurts a little inside, or if the "ifs" make attempts to destroy you and drive you crazy, you have the necessary strength to keep looking in the mirror and smile.

 

No response yet, but I'm keeping it cool, I know it'll happen

 

Thanks a lot Sup!

 

Thanks for your words of encouragement Lull, and your compliments, its kind of weird getting them in the virtual world you know? But still much appreciated

 

Don't over think the lack of a reply, I know you aren't now, but its a roller coaster, and I'm right here with you to support anyway I can. I think its all part of the process.

 

I'm hoping to run 18 miles next week. Keep on improving myself, in fact I think taking care of my body is the biggest act of self love you can give yourself.

 

You know the little hurts are there, and there is a time right now in the morning where its the worst, but I'm starting to tell them that they are just a trigger to make myself stronger and better again.

 

I'm going to come through this and soon, I know it. Know it in my heart.

 

I just need to stay pumped up!

 

Thanks again!

 

Sup.

[lullaby]

Thanks for your words of encouragement Lull, and your compliments, its kind of weird getting them in the virtual world you know? But still much appreciated

 

Don't over think the lack of a reply, I know you aren't now, but its a roller coaster, and I'm right here with you to support anyway I can. I think its all part of the process.

 

I'm hoping to run 18 miles next week. Keep on improving myself, in fact I think taking care of my body is the biggest act of self love you can give yourself.

 

You know the little hurts are there, and there is a time right now in the morning where its the worst, but I'm starting to tell them that they are just a trigger to make myself stronger and better again.

 

I'm going to come through this and soon, I know it. Know it in my heart.

 

I just need to stay pumped up!

 

Thanks again!

 

Sup.

 

Hi Sup! A new day!

 

Yes, it's kind of weird to get advice and compliments in this virtual manner, but I truly appreciate yours. Even if we just do it on a post, we both know how this feels and can still help each other.

 

How are you today? I fell you when you talk about those little hurts. They come at night for me, when I go to bed alone (because we almost lived together with my ex so...). But they will hurt less and less with time, you know it.

 

Congrats on your improvement! that's the best you can do, because in the end, you only have yourself and if you don't do those things for you, then who will?

 

Today I'm so and so. Luckily, I've arranged to meet with a friend to watch the Lost Finale, so my afternoon is covered. I wonder what he is doing though, I wish he could send me a text or something, but I know I'm talking out of anxiousness and nothing more. I just need to be patient and wait for the weekend.

 

I hope I didn't ruin things by kissing him. Didn't want to make myself so available, but I then figured it was quite obvious at this time. I think there is a point when playing hide and seek games is no longer necessary because you may cross the line and ruin everything.

 

It's same all same all. I'm an anxious girl and that works against me and this process, right?

 

Hope you have a good day!!!

[lullaby]

Well, he sent me a text Something light like mine yesterday "Hi. Keep studying, we can do it. I'm here with the books also and it's quite boring. Don't let European History affect u, OK? Kisses".

 

Just wanted to share that with u! It cheered my afternoon

[supersub]

Hi Sup! A new day!

 

Yes, it's kind of weird to get advice and compliments in this virtual manner, but I truly appreciate yours. Even if we just do it on a post, we both know how this feels and can still help each other.

 

How are you today? I fell you when you talk about those little hurts. They come at night for me, when I go to bed alone (because we almost lived together with my ex so...). But they will hurt less and less with time, you know it.

 

Congrats on your improvement! that's the best you can do, because in the end, you only have yourself and if you don't do those things for you, then who will?

 

Today I'm so and so. Luckily, I've arranged to meet with a friend to watch the Lost Finale, so my afternoon is covered. I wonder what he is doing though, I wish he could send me a text or something, but I know I'm talking out of anxiousness and nothing more. I just need to be patient and wait for the weekend.

 

I hope I didn't ruin things by kissing him. Didn't want to make myself so available, but I then figured it was quite obvious at this time. I think there is a point when playing hide and seek games is no longer necessary because you may cross the line and ruin everything.

 

It's same all same all. I'm an anxious girl and that works against me and this process, right?

 

Hope you have a good day!!!

 

Yes, I'm a firm believer in the LOA, and like you can get anxious, but when you do, people tend to notice it because you are giving a negative vibe. That's when the phone does not ring etc. etc.

 

Its all about recalibrating quickly when you feel that way. In other words staying positive, doing what seems counter intuitive. I felt good today, didn't get any pain when I thought about things. Which is a great sign of getting back to where I was.

 

Good news you did get a response back. Which is great! Keep me informed.

 

Sup.

[supersub]

Well here we are a week or so after the rain came in the form of a failed reconnect.

 

I feel totally different from last week. This point last week I was feeling pretty weak, she had all my power, I was wondering what I can do to stop it, telling her I loved her and the like (WTF was I doing!?). During the following days particularly Thursday and Friday we spoke on the phone. I was the one trying to patch it up. (God I was so pathetic. I laugh at myself:laugh:)

 

Know why? Cos I am so much better than that. She is no longer on that pedestal.

 

Over the weekend I was back and forth. She texted me, and I wondered why, etc.

 

Now I am in full NC and very happy about it. I have a full weekend ahead.

 

Watched 'Days of Thunder' last night. Not a big fan of that film, but there is a key scene in it that is all about getting your power back, it certainly motivated me to feel better in that when we feel like crap we cannot move, and the best way forward is to keep pressing on. It really is true.

 

I keep reaffirming it to myself and I feel great most of the time. Ive said it before, I'm not quite there, but I am close to being over this.

 

I WILL ignore the calls/texts if they come, ignore any of the BS games, keep reaffirming, show poise and indifference, feel poise and indifference and I know I will feel even greater than I do today.

 

The key is realizing your own importance over anything else.

 

[lullaby]

Well here we are a week or so after the rain came in the form of a failed reconnect.

 

I feel totally different from last week. This point last week I was feeling pretty weak, she had all my power, I was wondering what I can do to stop it, telling her I loved her and the like (WTF was I doing!?). During the following days particularly Thursday and Friday we spoke on the phone. I was the one trying to patch it up. (God I was so pathetic. I laugh at myself:laugh:)

 

Know why? Cos I am so much better than that. She is no longer on that pedestal.

 

Over the weekend I was back and forth. She texted me, and I wondered why, etc.

 

Now I am in full NC and very happy about it. I have a full weekend ahead.

 

Watched 'Days of Thunder' last night. Not a big fan of that film, but there is a key scene in it that is all about getting your power back, it certainly motivated me to feel better in that when we feel like crap we cannot move, and the best way forward is to keep pressing on. It really is true.

I keep reaffirming it to myself and I feel great most of the time. Ive said it before, I'm not quite there, but I am close to being over this.

 

I WILL ignore the calls/texts if they come, ignore any of the BS games, keep reaffirming, show poise and indifference, feel poise and indifference and I know I will feel even greater than I do today.

The key is realizing your own importance over anything else.

 

 

Hi Sup!! It's been a long time You can't believe how happy I am to read those words!!! Excellent job!!!

 

I know she had taken your power last week, but you have it back! And I remember that scene from the movie, fits perfectly right now.

 

What did she say in the text? just to know

 

If you know she's no longer in the pedestal, then all you have to do is move forward and continue improving yourself for someone else who truly deserves you, right? "She lost her chance" we can say.

 

This back and forth game full of BS like you say can be quite hurtful, that's

for sure, and when it's not shared, when the work is not equal, then it's useless. We said this tons of times and it's like that, no doubt about it.

 

Whenever you feel down, do something that cheers you up and remember all you accomplished, then look in the mirror and smile, you said it yourself.

 

Keep on with the good job!!! I'm proud of you!