tkgirl Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 so this morning I woke up thinking about my ex... I do that now and then. I try really hard not to think about him during the day so then at night my subconscience goes a little wacky... like lately I've been having these weird dreams and the other night I even woke myself up screaming his name! no, not like that I was being chased by some scary guy and saw my ex across the street and yelled for him to help me. anyho... back to what I thought of this morning... when we were dating, he had this huge poster size picture.. of himself! hanging up in his "extra room"... I'm talking at least 18x20" or bigger. It was of him about 15 years ago, hanging out playing an acoustic guitar on some sort of lounge chair outside. I struck me as a little odd at the time but then kind of forgot about it... but now I'm like "why didn't that freak me out more?" like it's pretty narcissistic, right? I mean, he was in a band and had other pictures of him with his whole band, performing or what not... but in his music studio. I don't know... yeah, I realize it's over with us now so I shouldn't even be thinking about him. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else thinks this is a more than little odd...
carhill Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 If he is a musician and performed publicly, versus in a studio, his mindset would necessarily be on 'selling' himself, his appearance, his 'image', so IMO such examples of that mindset would be 'normal'. Whether it is compatible (obviously, since he's an ex, it wasn't) is another story. My stbx worked in an 'image' business, so I saw that kind of stuff all the time and she was big into appearances. To me, that's just one aspect of a person. IDK if I'd see it as a red flag if other, more elemental, aspects matched up. I'm not much of a dream 'analyzer', so I'll leave that aspect to others. I rarely if ever dreamed about stbx and rarely think of her now, only when dealing with divorce stuff, and then only briefly. Sleep is peaceful as long as the cat cooperates
Author tkgirl Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 If he is a musician and performed publicly, versus in a studio, his mindset would necessarily be on 'selling' himself, his appearance, his 'image', so IMO such examples of that mindset would be 'normal'. Whether it is compatible (obviously, since he's an ex, it wasn't) is another story. My stbx worked in an 'image' business, so I saw that kind of stuff all the time and she was big into appearances. To me, that's just one aspect of a person. IDK if I'd see it as a red flag if other, more elemental, aspects matched up. I'm not much of a dream 'analyzer', so I'll leave that aspect to others. I rarely if ever dreamed about stbx and rarely think of her now, only when dealing with divorce stuff, and then only briefly. Sleep is peaceful as long as the cat cooperates thanks carhill... yeah, the whole "image" thing makes sense. I think that was a big part of his life at one time and maybe he was still holding to it somehow by having this picture up. But poster size? it still seems weird to me... like he likes himself a little too much... probably a big reason why we are not together anymore.
carhill Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I think there's a healthy balance between someone who idolizes their appearance and someone who eschews their appearance, based on 'pictures hung on walls'. I trend to the minimalistic and prefer to display group (friends or family) photographs rather than self-portraits. I do have my senior (high school) picture hanging in the hall to remind myself of when I had hair and wore really dorky glasses
CarrieT Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I do have my senior (high school) picture hanging in the hall to remind myself of when I had hair and wore really dorky glasses And I have a framed picture of myself taken as a 1940s Noir movie star (but only the 5x8", NOT the 20x40" which I have!)
Author tkgirl Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 And I have a framed picture of myself taken as a 1940s Noir movie star (but only the 5x8", NOT the 20x40" which I have!) lol! so it's not as weird as I'm making it out to be then? hmm.. I guess what is weird is that I'm even thinking about it now!
ADF Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 To have a giant poster of yourself IN YOUR HOUSE is quite bizarre. However, there is no way you could have infered narcissism from that alone. You would have needed additional information to make that determination for sure. You did't "miss" any red flag. And you certainly won't miss that particular one in the future.
Author tkgirl Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 To have a giant poster of yourself IN YOUR HOUSE is quite bizarre. However, there is no way you could have infered narcissism from that alone. You would have needed additional information to make that determination for sure. You did't "miss" any red flag. And you certainly won't miss that particular one in the future. When I think about it more he actually actual a little insecure... not narcassistic. I think there was a time in his past when he was in this small time band that he got a lot of attention.. from women etc. he was and is still quite attractive... this picture might have been a reminder to that time. It's actually a little sad.. I think he saw himself more as the "performer" and maybe is a little lost now that he doesn't have that in his life anymore. I remember him talking about how there was no better high than playing on stage and hearing the crowd scream. I think he might have been living in his past still...
stillafool Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Someone may have given him the picture. It is kind of cool if you are a musician.
Author tkgirl Posted April 23, 2010 Author Posted April 23, 2010 Someone may have given him the picture. It is kind of cool if you are a musician. actually I think he told me his MOM gave it to him but that's a whole other story there! and yeah, I think he thinks it's cool that he's a musician.. and I did too... but now looking back there wasn't much else to him... um yeah, I wish I could really mean that... so why do I still think about him?
Hot Carl Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 I do have my senior (high school) picture hanging in the hall to remind myself of when I had hair and wore really dorky glasses ha ha. Same here! I have a poster-sized picture of myself without a shirt on all sweaty after a workout with a kind of pouty look and my hair kind of scruffy hanging on the bedroom wall across from the bed. People have pictures of themselves all the time. Doesn't mean anything.
Author tkgirl Posted April 23, 2010 Author Posted April 23, 2010 ha ha. Same here! I have a poster-sized picture of myself without a shirt on all sweaty after a workout with a kind of pouty look and my hair kind of scruffy hanging on the bedroom wall across from the bed. People have pictures of themselves all the time. Doesn't mean anything. wait.. you are joking, right?
dazzle22 Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 ha ha. Same here! I have a poster-sized picture of myself without a shirt on all sweaty after a workout with a kind of pouty look and my hair kind of scruffy hanging on the bedroom wall across from the bed. People have pictures of themselves all the time. Doesn't mean anything. haha. Like your political views, and now this.!
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