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CaliGuy's most life learned lesson...


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Posted
so If people only want someone doesn't want them, then the only way to get the one is to play hard to get?

 

Maybe most men just like to purely hunt, when they talk about love, maybe they are talking about pride and ego that kind of things

 

Some men love to hunt but most of them just don't know what they want or need. They are confused, just like women. They want something that is simply "unobtainable" in the context of finding the RIGHT person.

 

now to actually BELIEVE... that's where I'm at! :o

 

great thread... thanks CaliGuy!

 

p.s. Cali is awesome... my favorite place in the world!

 

Awwww thanks. You are welcome!

 

What happens if the love someone has for you is completely unconditional and you're not sure what you feel because they are so ahead of you?

 

My ex was an ex-model and worshipped the ground I walked on. She was a lovely lovely person, smart etc and I stayed with her for all kinds of reasons, we got along great, very few arguments, sex was amazing and she did everything for me.

 

So I waited for my feelings to grow, I cared about her immensely, liked her a huge amount and was very attracted to her, but I did not feel the same way as her and I felt it would take so long to fall in love or catch up that perhaps I was wasting her time.

 

Was it because she was SOOOO into me that I didn't want her?

 

Possibly, or that she just wasn't the right match for you and your feelings didn't grow the way you thought they would.

 

The right woman will make you never doubt she's right for you. The question is, does she feel the same way as you?

 

That's the $20,000.00 question.

Posted
What happens if the love someone has for you is completely unconditional and you're not sure what you feel because they are so ahead of you?

 

My ex was an ex-model and worshipped the ground I walked on. She was a lovely lovely person, smart etc and I stayed with her for all kinds of reasons, we got along great, very few arguments, sex was amazing and she did everything for me.

 

So I waited for my feelings to grow, I cared about her immensely, liked her a huge amount and was very attracted to her, but I did not feel the same way as her and I felt it would take so long to fall in love or catch up that perhaps I was wasting her time.

 

Was it because she was SOOOO into me that I didn't want her?

Probably it is. If she has some other guys chasing her and you don't know if she is into you or not, I think you would say "I love her to death !"

Posted

Know that most love is fleeting and impermanent. If you know that, you will appreciate it when you have it and let it go gracefully when it departs.

 

This is a great quote. What a healthy attitude to take towards love. Yet is we embrace the notion that it is fleeting, will that not impede our ability to open our hearts fully? One you have fully opened your heart it is most difficult to gracefully go into that good night when the relationship sours.

Posted

In my opinion love is a vicious circle.

 

I was deeply in love with someone who screwed me over on so many different levels. The sacrifices I made for them were something that really showed me how much I was capable of when I was truly in love with someone. Now I know that it's something that I shouldn't regret or forget because the experience helped me grow on many levels. In the end I loved her a lot more than she loved me. I've had two other significant relationships where those women loved me a lot more than I loved them, if it was even love.

 

The cycle is very simple:

 

Someone screws us over > We become bitter > New Person tries to show that they are not our ex > We keep wall up > They grow tired and give up > We realize that we lost something great > Try to get them back but they've moved on > Realize we have issues > Correct those issues > Meet someone great > Vow to not let the same mistake occur again > Honeymoon Period > Fall in Love > Catastrophic Breakup

 

 

Rinse and Repeat.

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Posted

Been there with ya Dusty. You just heal the wounds, suck it up, move on and hope for the best next time around with someone new. Yeah, bad relationships suck but learning and growing is something we should appreciate.

Posted

The right woman will make you never doubt she's right for you. The question is, does she feel the same way as you?

 

That's the $20,000.00 question.

 

 

I think that's a hard thing too, knowing that you love someone so much and you have no doubt that they're a perfect fit for you...but if they don't feel the same way you have to step back.

 

When you truly love someone, you let them do what they need to do or be with who they need to be with to be happy. It may hurt like hell to be on the side lines of their life or not even in it, but you're happy that you at least had the chance to know them.

 

You aren't bitter or hateful towards them for "squashing your heart", you loved them truly and selflessly, which is how everyone WANTS to be loved but few accept that sort of love.

  • Author
Posted
I think that's a hard thing too, knowing that you love someone so much and you have no doubt that they're a perfect fit for you...but if they don't feel the same way you have to step back.

 

When you truly love someone, you let them do what they need to do or be with who they need to be with to be happy. It may hurt like hell to be on the side lines of their life or not even in it, but you're happy that you at least had the chance to know them.

 

You aren't bitter or hateful towards them for "squashing your heart", you loved them truly and selflessly, which is how everyone WANTS to be loved but few accept that sort of love.

 

Yup! Been in that situation several times where I've been head over heels for someone and not have them feel the same way. There isn't anything you can do about it. If they don't feel that way, you've got to move on.

 

That's what I mean by picking up the pieces and moving on with life. You can wallow in the quagmire or you can decide that you want to live. It's really a choice to be happy or not.

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