Spoiled Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 In my experience - oh yes!! very muchly in fact. Two and a half years after D Day and we are very much in love, lust and like. Who had the A, you or your H???? Link to post Share on other sites
Spoiled Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Sorry, just jumped in without understanding post was for WS reconnecting with BS. My H had an affair Joe, we are still married. Oops, just now read this but is exactly what I suspected. Link to post Share on other sites
Hazyhead Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 I acted (and felt) like a free agent during this long separation. And, in dating, I never concealed the fact that I was separated, and not divorced. Nevertheless, I hesitated to pull the trigger and file for divorce. And I'm not shy about ending relationhips. That's my specialty. Something still connected me to my wife other than our kids. We'll do everything we can to rebuild these connections. We might succeed; we might fail. But, in the end, we would have tried. Let the dance start anew. This is sweet I hope you both get your happy ending. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Is it possible to re-establish the love, passion and sexual desire for your spouse after an affair? Obviously, considering the AP is no longer in your life. What if it was never as "good" or intense with your spouse as it was with the AP? I am just curious if anyone can answer "yes" to these questions. Personally, this seems highly unlikely to me because my A proved to me that there are some aspects of a relationship that my H and I never had (i.e. strong physical chemistry, at least on my part). Sometimes I feel that if I cannot be with my AP, I have no choice but to be alone for awhile and eventually start over with someone new. Honestly, that depends on how crazy you are. If your perception of life doesn't come close to matching reality... then forget even trying. Physical and emotional chemistry are not separate entities... you cannot say you have one and not the other. I've experienced that fact first hand. You would be foolish to ignore this fact when making a choice here. I would say you need to answer some questions with honesty. Why are you not physically attracted to your spouse? How does your spouse make you feel? Do you respect or admire your spouse? Do you view yourself as a quality person? Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Honestly, that depends on how crazy you are. If your perception of life doesn't come close to matching reality... then forget even trying. Physical and emotional chemistry are not separate entities... you cannot say you have one and not the other. I've experienced that fact first hand. You would be foolish to ignore this fact when making a choice here. I would say you need to answer some questions with honesty. Why are you not physically attracted to your spouse? How does your spouse make you feel? Do you respect or admire your spouse? Do you view yourself as a quality person? They shouldn't be separate entities but quite often we see them split here at LS. It will be the OP's journey to discover whether the two can be mended and the M can be healed. Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 They shouldn't be separate entities but quite often we see them split here at LS. It will be the OP's journey to discover whether the two can be mended and the M can be healed. This is very true. I see so many people not just here but all over the U.S. that have some kind of weird belief that attraction is set in stone. Just look at all the tribes that do odd things to their bodies to fit a cultural norm of attraction. We are each biologically designed to have a wide range built into what we find attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Ah a man after my own heart. I think it is possible. I've just returned from dinner with my "ex." We held hands for the first time in years and watched a very enjoyable Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey, Jr. We're taking baby steps, but we're walking together. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I've just returned from dinner with my "ex." We held hands for the first time in years and watched a very enjoyable Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey, Jr. We're taking baby steps, but we're walking together. Was the same old chemistry still there? I ask because I saw my sweetheart this week and our hands just keep touching. God, it was electrical! It was so electrical, we couldn't focus on the counseling session! I just wonder, after all this time, is it still 'there' for you. Hope it's not too personal. Link to post Share on other sites
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