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"Nice" girls, like Sandra Bullock....

desertmoon

By desertmoon
in Infidelity

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threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

Posted
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Heh. Not to mention, in Brazil it's much more culturally acceptable for men to cheat.
Well, there you go. It's a given since she's such a hottie, exposed to all those men with options (if you consider the entertainment industry and how many men are highly, highly attractive but married), that guaranteed, she will be cheating on you, as we speak!

 

For that matter, calizaggy, if you're a guy who can attract a woman like that, you must be a man with many options, hence also cheating on your MIA girlfriend, since it's instinctual for you.

shadowplay Established Member

shadowplay

Posted
Posted
Well, there you go. It's a given since she's such a hottie, exposed to all those men with options (if you consider the entertainment industry and how many men are highly, highly attractive but married), that guaranteed, she will be cheating on you, as we speak!

 

For that matter, calizaggy, if you're a guy who can attract a woman like that, you must be a man with many options, hence also cheating on your MIA girlfriend, since it's instinctual for you.

 

What does his gf do?

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

Posted
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But of course, I have no doubt men would be trying to sleep with her knowing she is in a relationship.. Since she is a magazine and TV model I am sure most men would want to sleep with her..

 

What does his gf do?
Apparently, the above.
sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

Posted
Posted
Well, there you go. It's a given since she's such a hottie, exposed to all those men with options (if you consider the entertainment industry and how many men are highly, highly attractive but married), that guaranteed, she will be cheating on you, as we speak!

 

For that matter, calizaggy, if you're a guy who can attract a woman like that, you must be a man with many options, hence also cheating on your MIA girlfriend, since it's instinctual for you.

 

And who could blame her? He went into the relationship knowing she lives in Brazil and that she regularly strikes poses for cameramen.

 

If your boyfriend were far away ...

 

And you had attractive men hitting on you ...

 

It's his fault for getting into it in the first place. Besides, this isn't what I'd call a relationship in my book. He should be there 100% of the time to fulfill 100% of her needs. If she goes out and gets some other man to do it instead, then it's his fault.

 

 

 

Okay, rephrasing his arguments is making me a little nauseous. :p

threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

Posted
Posted

I mean seriously, the entire biological argument is bunk. Biologically speaking, women aren't programmed for monogamy either.

 

But both genders have free will, which is why some men and women, do and will cheat and others don't and won't.

 

Biologically speaking, humans aren't programmed to wear clothing and yet, the vast majority of men and women wear clothing.

 

Biologically speaking, we're not programmed to use a toilet but the vast amount of men and women use them.

 

Biologically speaking, we're not programmed to work computers, but the vast majority of people in North America, can and do use them.

 

Biologically speaking, we're not programmed to eat cooked meat but the vast majority of people in North America, cook our meat.

 

Biologically speaking, we're not programmed to go to work everyday and collect pay cheques, but the vast majority of adults do work daily and collect pay cheques.

 

I could go on and on about biology v. nurture. But I think that's enough.

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shadowplay Established Member

shadowplay

Posted
Posted
Apparently, the above.

 

Sure she is

urt New Member

urt

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So what's the sensible response to all this overwhelming evidence of the majority of men cheating the moment they get half a chance? Just avoid getting into serious relationships with men full stop? Stick to fairly meaningless f*ck buddy relationships with men you don't care about, and have your emotional needs met by family and female friends?

 

This is actually the best way to do it, and BTW, it's something men and women alike should be aware of. We are all complex individuals with a variety of needs that are best fulfilled by different people. The problem with marriage as a concept is that it doesn't take this into account. Marriage says that you should have ALL of your needs met by ONE person, which is like saying that when you go shopping, you should buy EVERYTHING you buy at one store, or like saying you'll employ ONE person in your business to do EVERYTHING -- even if you're in charge of Microsoft.

 

Now the fact is, I will go hiking in the mountains with a different person than the one who I'll take to a football game, and I'll take yet another different person to an art gallery. And it's the same in relationships. The person who is absolutely great in bed isn't the same person who will understand you and provide emotional support, so why try to make the same person perform both roles? Simply bang the person who is great in the sack with whom you have no connection, and go for coffee for the person with whom you have an emotional connection, and go to the art gallery with the person who shares your tastes in art, and so on.

 

Then when you want some peace, you come home to your house in which you live alone, which is decorated and maintained exactly the way YOU want it, and rest up and get a good night's undisturbed sleep so you can be fresh to spend the next day however you choose with whomever you choose.

Johnny M Established Member

Johnny M

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This thread failed after the first sentence. Nice people don't become Hollywood celebs. Period.

CLC2008 Established Member

CLC2008

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I'm not sure who cheats more gender wise, but in the celebrity world, I've heard more accounts of men cheating then women. Also take into account that in celeb world, there is an enormous amount of pressure so perhaps it boils down to how the two genders deal with that pressure.

 

As for "Sandra", she's not the bad guy here - her husband is and I think its funny how the focus is shifting to HER versus the person who actually cheated....

St. Nick Established Member

St. Nick

Posted
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This thread failed after the first sentence. Nice people don't become Hollywood celebs. Period.

I've heard so many stories about people sleeping with producers, directors, scriptwriters, and what have you just so they could get to the top in Hollywood that it's unbelievable. Some folks have told me that the whole "it's not what you know, but who you know" phrase really means "it's not what you know, but who you sleep with" in Hollywood.

I'm not sure who cheats more gender wise, but in the celebrity world, I've heard more accounts of men cheating then women. Also take into account that in celeb world, there is an enormous amount of pressure so perhaps it boils down to how the two genders deal with that pressure.

 

As for "Sandra", she's not the bad guy here - her husband is and I think its funny how the focus is shifting to HER versus the person who actually cheated....

The question is: should we feel sorry for Sandra Bullock for getting cheated on cuz she obviously chose a dude who seemed to be more than likely to cheat on her than a nice guy who compliments her nice girl image.

 

If tomorrow a woman married OJ, would you feel sorry for her for getting stabbed?

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
The question is: should we feel sorry for Sandra Bullock for getting cheated on cuz she obviously chose a dude who seemed to be more than likely to cheat on her than a nice guy who compliments her nice girl image.

 

Choose compassion. It'll boost your karma :)

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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Wow .. long thread.. I'm too lazy to read it all.. so this might have been said..

 

It's Hollywood.. people.. HOLLYWOOD... nobody's faithful in Hollywood.. for a long period of time.. it's just impossible.. too many stunning people around ALL the time..

 

I'm not surprised.. no couple stands a chance now days.. I don't care who they are... they IMO all cheated..

 

MOST men cheat... bad guys, good guys, geek, morons, etc.. MOST cheat... in the long run.

Johnny M Established Member

Johnny M

Posted
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I've heard so many stories about people sleeping with producers, directors, scriptwriters, and what have you just so they could get to the top in Hollywood that it's unbelievable. Some folks have told me that the whole "it's not what you know, but who you know" phrase really means "it's not what you know, but who you sleep with" in Hollywood.

I know a few people who work in the movie biz and I hear similar stories. Anyone who believes that someone like Sandra Bullock could be a sweet, innocent, all-American girl who just happened to become famous because of her talent needs to get their head checked.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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Bullock didn't deserve to be cheated, on but I don't understand how anyone could think she had no clue what she was getting into. Just a quick read through his wikipedia reveals that he was once married to a pornstar/convict. Also he comes off as skeevy as hell.

 

That doesn't mean anything. I was married to a junkie who is now facing years in prison yet I will never cheat on a woman. God knows I am not the perfect husband because I have major trust issues but I would never cheat on a woman.

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

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Pahahhahaha whatever makes your feel more I at ease....

 

You have no idea. But it's amusing to see what "macho men" tell themselves to make it out like women have only sexual eyes for them.

 

I feel a sting almost regularly from hot guys I see around, and I am in a happy committed relationship with a man I find both mentally and sexually arousing. I fantasize about men and sex other than my partner from time to time, especially when I see a man that I find sexually appealing.

 

The other night we watched The Hurt Locker and watching Jeremy Renner in that left me all randy and bothered. Let's say my guy and I had a great love making session that night.

 

I've had opportunities to cheat, I met someone on a business trip a few months ago that I could have had a fling with, he looked like he could be a lot of fun sexually and the scenario was ideal for a once in a lifetime passionate hook-up with a practical stranger that I was very sexually attracted to and no one would ever know that it happened. It is the ideal sexual fantasy / secret, doing it with a total stranger in another country and never seeing them again. But I choose to stay faithful because that is who I am, that is my ultimate character. I can have sexual thoughts and even desires but I will never act upon them knowing that I would have to face the man I love afterward. It is a very conscious choice one that women have to make as well.

 

So the idea that it takes effort to say "no" is equal for women as it is for men, comparable to the opportunities you have but men seem to have less willpower, sure I'll give you that much. It is not based on desire for variety it is based on weakness of character.

 

I agree with Cali... that men see and desire dozens of women every day... they just don,t say it out loud to their partners.. but they do fantasize a LOT more than women do..

 

my comment to the bold part: if it would have been a male .. in this situation, he would have cheated... see this guy was ready to hit the sack with you... :D

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

Despite what Cali said not all men cheat. I have had plenty of chances and I have yet to do it because human's are not animals incapable of controlling their emotions. If a person is incapable of controlling their actions male or female they need mental help if you ask me.

 

To be fair though his rationalizations sound just like the excuses my two coworkers use or the excuses used by some women on this board. Men are blamed all the times if we are betrayed so don't try to make this into some one sided thing.

Johnny M Established Member

Johnny M

Posted
Posted
That doesn't mean anything. I was married to a junkie who is now facing years in prison yet I will never cheat on a woman. God knows I am not the perfect husband because I have major trust issues but I would never cheat on a woman.

"Trust issues" is a contradiction in terms. A healthy degree of suspicion is a good thing, as long as you don't take it too far and become paranoid.

CLC2008 Established Member

CLC2008

Posted
Posted
I've heard so many stories about people sleeping with producers, directors, scriptwriters, and what have you just so they could get to the top in Hollywood that it's unbelievable. Some folks have told me that the whole "it's not what you know, but who you know" phrase really means "it's not what you know, but who you sleep with" in Hollywood.

 

The question is: should we feel sorry for Sandra Bullock for getting cheated on cuz she obviously chose a dude who seemed to be more than likely to cheat on her than a nice guy who compliments her nice girl image.

 

If tomorrow a woman married OJ, would you feel sorry for her for getting stabbed?

 

Yeah I do feel sorry for her because she's going through hell right now. Not agreeing with someones choices doesn't change that.

 

And I would feel sorry for someone who married OJ, and got stabbed. Nicole was beaten before they were married and I feel very sorry for what happened to her, to Ron, etc. OJ on the other hand, I don't feel sorry for and believe me, there are things that I would love to happen to him if it were within my power...

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted
"Trust issues" is a contradiction in terms. A healthy degree of suspicion is a good thing, as long as you don't take it too far and become paranoid.

 

I do the latter and I admit it is wrong but I am working on it. In reality I probably should have worked on my issues for a much longer time before I married again.

Twenty-ten Established Member

Twenty-ten

Posted
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I agree with Cali... that men see and desire dozens of women every day... they just don,t say it out loud to their partners.. but they do fantasize a LOT more than women do..

 

my comment to the bold part: if it would have been a male .. in this situation, he would have cheated... see this guy was ready to hit the sack with you... :D

 

 

But I am not disputing that.

 

My point still stands that women may fantasize less but we still do it, and if we want it we can have it and much easier than men. This is why it's not as big a deal for us. Doesn't change that we say no while men use the excuse that they HAVE to cheat because they fantasize about variety, and women don't. It's an excuse.

 

The guy from my business trip was single as far as I could tell of course he was good to go, why wouldn't he be? Men don't pass up opportunities for sex because most men don't get that many opportunities for it.

 

But when a man commits to a woman in marriage or in a committed relationship he is making the conscious decision to forgo any opportunities for free sex from that point on. That is what commitment means. Why commit if you can't adhere to that very basic rule? Unless you decide otherwise together, in which case that would be considered an open relationship and therefore there would no boundaries broken.

sweetjasmine Established Member

sweetjasmine

Posted
Posted
Despite what Cali said not all men cheat. I have had plenty of chances and I have yet to do it because human's are not animals incapable of controlling their emotions. If a person is incapable of controlling their actions male or female they need mental help if you ask me.

 

Yeah, and it's not just being incapable of controlling your actions. Some people are perfectly capable of controlling themselves but decide to cheat anyways and then decide to lie to their partner about it.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
my comment to the bold part: if it would have been a male .. in this situation, he would have cheated... see this guy was ready to hit the sack with you... :D

 

 

Maybe he was unattached?

 

But the thoughts that go through my head when faced with temptation (and I've been there!):

 

--how would I face my partner if he found out?

--how would I face my partner if I gave him and STD?

--how would I face my partner if I got pg and wasn't sure who was the father?

--how would I live with myself if my infidelity broke up the family?

--how would I explain my actions to my children?

 

You can see how this is sort of a kill joy :rolleyes:

Men don't have these thoughts? I believe that men who enjoy their marriages and family, and really love their wives, absolutely have the same thoughts. And the same capacity for impulse control.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted

personally i don't think that sandra is so nice, shes an actress and can fake whatever persona she wants to the public

 

in addition there is no way shes "nice" if shes gotten to that level of success

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
Posted
The guy from my business trip was single as far as I could tell of course he was good to go, why wouldn't he be? Men don't pass up opportunities for sex because most men don't get that many opportunities for it.

 

 

This is what I don't understand. Research confirms that married people have more consistent sex than single people (on average). So you are married...presumably getting sex...and cheat. Get divorced. And now you are single and getting less regular sex. Isn't that shortsighted? :p

 

This is the average guy, of course. Not Jesse James :cool:

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted

IMO.. it's time to 'review' those stupid vows...

 

I never believed in 'vows' .. how can you swear at 20 yrs old that you will be faithful and love your partner 'till death do us part'... this is completely ridiculous.. and not very realistic IMO.

 

I agree with most of Cali's posts on this thread... every single man IMO would cheat if he had the opportunity and knowing he would never get caught..

 

That doesn't mean that he hates men... he's just saying it like it is.. in real life...

 

For sure, most female LSers will say 'no way, MY hubby would never do that'... of course.. it would be too painful to think otherwise.. so it's easier to say that they have the 'perfect' husband.. and not try to find anything.. :laugh:

 

The sex industry is mostly for men.. the second most lucrative thing in the world, after the 'petrolium'... and it's certainly NOT because women made it lucrative.. men did..

 

I like the example Cali gave about male celebs.. they hire prostitutes.. (they get caught)... I have never heard the same thing about a female celeb... hummm...;)

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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