Moving past guilt?

[Meaplus3]

no it's not, and do know how much strength and will power you have to have to make big changes and keep them? a whole lot!

 

and you are right, you are kinda accentuating the negatives and understating the positives..... why?

 

is it because you expect that you will screw up EVEN though you do not want to? so when you do take a misstep you have to shame yourself... even though you really know it's ok?

 

would you poo poo on others that ate mcdonalds? or others that made past mistakes, but have since chnaged? no, you would be supportive- and remind them of the good things- so do it for you too.

 

OK. LRB. Your hitting the nail on the head here.. and I appreciate it. Need to hear it Loud and clear. Now would I poo poo those who ate at mcdonalds? Not really. It is their choice to eat in a manner in which suites them. As for greasy fries, burgers.. oh and those ever so delicous shamrock shakes.. they make me feel to guilty... so I choose to TRY my best to not eat that stuff. But, like today, I caved and sucked down that sandwhich which BTW was fried, not grilled and slurped up that sticky sweet minty shake.......so I slipped! I guess I need to realize I am only human. I'm to darn hard on myself.

 

Mea:)

[JamesM]

You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

 

And no matter how well you try to live your life, you will make mistakes, and some of them will be doozies. They are to be used for educational purposes and not for psychological beatings.

 

Looking back, I see many things that I have guilt over. Yet there is nothing I can do about that. However, if I repeated the same things over and over (and I am not talking about drinking a shamrock shake ), then perhaps I have not learned.

 

As JJ said, guilt is a good motivator but it can also be a huge downer. Thankfully we have a choice on how we can deal with it.

 

My guess is that you feel the guilt because you did not do the MRI. And so what? Tomorrow is another day. And the guilt over the shake? Sadly, you will make that mistake again, I am sure. We all do. One shake isn't going to hurt you. It is a life time habit of eating unhealthy that is not good. Allowing yourself a treat now and then is good.

 

This too shall pass.

[Meaplus3]

QUOTE=JamesM;2697484]You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful.

 

:love:

 

And no matter how well you try to live your life, you will make mistakes, and some of them will be doozies. They are to be used for educational purposes and not for psychological beatings.

 

Very true.

 

 

 

 

My guess is that you feel the guilt because you did not do the MRI. And so what? Tomorrow is another day. And the guilt over the shake? Sadly, you will make that mistake again, I am sure. We all do. One shake isn't going to hurt you. It is a life time habit of eating unhealthy that is not good. Allowing yourself a treat now and then is good.

 

 

Nah. Not really feeling guilty about not going through with the test today. My anxeity was up to high to lay there and here clank.. clank.. clank.. for 40 minutes. Plus, I'm sick of the after part the waiting for results. I'll get it done on a day when I can cope with it better.. I'm learning my limits... and NO one was sliding me in that machine today without a fight.

 

Mea:)

[Luv2dance]

Oh Mea, ((hugs)) I could have so started this thread, but I don't really feel guilty over eating McD's. Had some nuggets and fries today in fact.

 

However, the BIG things from my past I have had a hard time letting go of, and I am a christian and believe that I am forgiven BUT I apparently can't forgive myself. (not trying to turn this into a religious disscussion) We are our worst critics and I seem to have a hard time controlling my mind & thoughts.

In fact I am headed to MC b/c I think my guilt has created unknown issues in my marriage.

 

I do know we are all human and if we can learn from and grow from those mistakes they do make us better.

[Meaplus3]

I do know we are all human and if we can learn from and grow from those mistakes they do make us better.

 

I agree with you. I guess for me sometimes it's hard to not let my mistakes haunt me. But, today I did good. Got my walk in.. and had a super healthy lunch.. skipped the shamrock shake.

 

Mea:)

[Kristine]

For me it took therapy to get over the guilt and my mom believes something is wrong with me because I was able to get over the guilt.

[Luv2dance]

I agree with you. I guess for me sometimes it's hard to not let my mistakes haunt me. But, today I did good. Got my walk in.. and had a super healthy lunch.. skipped the shamrock shake.

 

Mea:)

 

Well, it is much easier to say than believe...I am the WORST at moving on and getting over things. Glad you had a good day!

 

For me it took therapy to get over the guilt and my mom believes something is wrong with me because I was able to get over the guilt.

 

Are you not supposed to be able to get over guilt??

[Meaplus3]

Well, it is much easier to say than believe

 

 

 

So true. I think all one can do to get past guilt is try to find some sort of peace within side themselves over the guilt that bugs them. This is the direction I'm going to try and take anyway.

 

Mea:)

[Perhaps]

I think I know what you mean... the guilt overwhelms you when right after you do something like.. eat something unhealthy but delicious.. but in about 6 hours, you feel like eating another unhealthy thing and you try to reason with yourself about how you felt guilty.

 

 

I think this is one of those times where success leads to success - make one decision to be proud of & you'll feel good and motivated to make more decisions that prevent guilt from haunting you. Guilt is a @@#$%( to live with but if you can channel it, it can serve as a great motivator to become a better person. Forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness if ya feel guilty about hurting someone.

 

At the end of the day, EVERYONE has done something stupid and EVERYONE has their heart broken - no one is perfect.

 

We're all imperfect beings in an imperfect world trying to make the best of what we have.

[Meaplus3]

I think I know what you mean... the guilt overwhelms you when right after you do something like.. eat something unhealthy but delicious.. but in about 6 hours, you feel like eating another unhealthy thing and you try to reason with yourself about how you felt guilty.

 

 

Yes... Exactly.

 

Mea:)

[2sure]

Guilt has always been a huge factor in my life. Every day. Guilt over past decisions, mistakes, etc. Guilt over what I did today and will do tomorrow.

I feel guilty sometimes for things other people have done to the ME I was in the past...just because I didnt protect myself enough. Its debilitating.

 

The best advice I have given myself, and it works...is to EMBRACE the mistakes already made.

[Meaplus3]

The best advice I have given myself, and it works...is to EMBRACE the mistakes already made.

 

This makes a ton of sense. And I think because by embracing those mistakes.. one is able to move past them and gain acceptance. Thanks 2sure.. I'll work on this.

 

Mea;)

[Odyssey]

Sheeesh Mea... a sandwich from Mc.D? Don't fret over the little things.

 

As for guilt and the scan etc? Well... i think guilt and regret are there to remind us our mistakes - it's a lesson to never forget. Reminds us to do the right thing next time. Its our conscience in a way. Everyone makes mistakes 'cause they dare to try something they never done before. Its what you do after, knowing those mistakes, that shows what kind of character you are.

 

With zero guilt or regrets = no character.

[skydiveaddict]

mea, guilt is a ruthless destroyer of souls. Dont let it conquer you. Guilt is nothing more than a punishment you feel you owe yourself for actions/thoughts in the past . they mean nothing!