3weeks of no contact with ex and I find out on "fecesbook" that....

[nowomanocry]

OP, my sympathies. I've experienced some of this, many years ago. I was one of those guys, after Perestroika, who ventured into the CIS/FSU to look for a bride. If anything was a hornet's nest, that was. My best experiences there ironically came on the tail of an experience much like yours. One thing I learned, perhaps not applicable to your circumstance, was, to weed out visa whores and gold-diggers, to actively announce that I was interested in ex-pat'ing and moving there and working because I didn't think it right for the lady to leave her family, friends and homeland. Nyet! The truly sincere women, a couple of whom would become friends over the years, even after my marriage (to a local lady), were those who were grounded, wanted to remain in their homeland (a K-visa was the only way out back then and even that was hard) and would only leave as a last resort.

 

Anyway, having been 'taken' a bit like yourself, I can sympathize; it blows. You feel like a fool (I did), but, ultimately, life goes on. I think I'll go back this year and see how things have changed in 15 years

 

Advice? Cut communication and move on. Heal. Post her picture and throw darts at it. Whatever. Sometimes I think situations like yours are harder than divorces, because you have to mourn the potential. When married, one knows the potential and lives it and actively decides to leave it. For you, it's all nebulous...that sucks...

 

Carhill

 

your experience talks man!

 

I will soon be posting an update about my situation and you will see why I sed that mate

 

Cheerio

[nowomanocry]

So after 2 days we had a phone convo - 2 days ago I texted her to call me 2moz (today). So this how it went

 

Again peeps don’t try this åt home lol….

 

She said I wasn't that talkative and I said yeh "I will listen to your story as you said before" So she basically denied everything and said it was after she dumped me and that it was unexpected that he fell in love so sudden (bollox) with this fella that she knew for almost 15 years he was living with them when she had a partner (prolly the shag dates back to those days and maybe she was ***in him on and off) that the fella (I will call him that from now) was an old friend of hers and her sisters (no wonder the btich was having phone convos, very long ones with her lately) and that she did not anticipate this to happen bla bla bla

 

I spied on fb that she was already in a relationship with him since Dec (that is declaration of the r/s on fb on Dec 09 when we were still officially together). When I sed that she just said someone had been hacking her old fb acct and said she was stupid and blamed me for it and I told her off (well that is the only part where I am guilty lol) and asked her to put the blame on her possible past lovers or something. She was amazed over the phone when I told her that I knew all about it and was not an idiot she went quiet, and I clearly stated she had cheated on me. then I threw the bate.... I said anyway that all over now, it was an LDR and hard to cope with & I don't put the blame on you bla bla we can still be friends (my lie # 2) Told her my dad (who has been seriously ill lately and she started cheating on me while I was struggling at hosps to get him back on track) had left me control of loads of houses and cash in the bank etc was such a burden on me shoulders etc to manage and she jumped and said well I told you you would get at least .......grand for that house bla bla .. and after a while she said but wait a min. I will never ever be with you for your money! That's when I saw the light! It wasn't me to whom she talked about that house which is my dad's and I never ever told her it was ours or we were on rent. God knows where she found out… Because we never had that sort of convos (I'm never rich just working for a living) and I don't know how she found out about it (maybe she got that from my sis or mum). Anyway, I ignored wot she said and told her that I wanted her back (lie #3) that despite all that she did I still loved her and will love her 4eva –as she puts it-(lie #4). Then she (unlike when she was stressed when talking to me 1st days we broke up went all with that soft sexy voice as if we doin’ phone sex and I felt all that control back again as in the past, those times when we look into each other’s eyes and be one while ***…n whispering to each others ears,and she said yeah all that time I thought about u as well and wanted to sms but felt awkward (;) lol) then I said u know well that nothing compares to me and us together and if I was allowed a little justice (if this was not an LDR but we were together breathing the same air) no one could take u away from me, she all went quite, could hear her breathing fast, and if I had looked you in the eyes you would surrender she said “stop it” with a soft tone of surrendering voice, after a long interval of silence I said allright I gotta go have to work (this was a summary of a 1,5h of phone convo)….

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Another last min. update (feels like CNN report eh lmao )….[/sIZE][/FONT]

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While I was on msn her best friend accused me of hacking her account (lmao) and I sed back if I was so good a hacker I would not waste my time with her acc. Which I don’t give a fck about and would hack the page of central bank or summin’ and I said to her that probably she told all her friends that I was a jealous bastard hacking her and her friends account so as to make me look like a fool and said would you be happy if I did this to you? She said nooo only she (her best mate) knows about it bla bla bla Finally she got convinced that I wasn’t to blame and said you do not like fb or msn anyway I know that and I replied well yeah exactly you saying that yourself now. She said ok I will talk to her, I said don’t give a rat’z azz. Then she switched back to her soft , caring and loving g/f tone of voice and we started talking (real talk ) as if still we were together ,I told her about the trip I was going to make to dubai for a week to see sum friends she said don’t get drunk and do “sex on da beach” I joked back saying “I will always be loyal to you heh heh” and then we said nite and I said get well soon please, take great care etc.etc.

[aerogurl87]

I'm lost? What did any of that accomplish? With my ex the last time we talked, he told me all the problems he had had since we'd broken up. Turns out he lost his job, totalled his car, and got dumped or kicked to the curb by every girl he dated after me. So I played the sympathetic part like I really cared, when I was really laughing my butt off and playing "What goes around, comes around" by Justin Timberlake in the background. Then he was like "I still love you and I miss us talking" and I said "Yeah you were nice to talk to". And he was like "so what else do you miss about us?" And I said "Nothing anymore because everything is now in the past and I've moved on to someone better" (haha). Then he got upset threw a fit, called me a cunt, (and here's the kicker) so I told him "that's alright because you're the one still in love with this cunt so sucks for you". Haha, justice was served once and for all.

[nowomanocry]

I'm lost? What did any of that accomplish? With my ex the last time we talked, he told me all the problems he had had since we'd broken up. Turns out he lost his job, totalled his car, and got dumped or kicked to the curb by every girl he dated after me. So I played the sympathetic part like I really cared, when I was really laughing my butt off and playing "What goes around, comes around" by Justin Timberlake in the background. Then he was like "I still love you and I miss us talking" and I said "Yeah you were nice to talk to". And he was like "so what else do you miss about us?" And I said "Nothing anymore because everything is now in the past and I've moved on to someone better" (haha). Then he got upset threw a fit, called me a cunt, (and here's the kicker) so I told him "that's alright because you're the one still in love with this cunt so sucks for you". Haha, justice was served once and for all.

 

Lol, well a little similar to your case hun..We talked and she seems like still got those feelings for me... I never wept and cried and begged her to come back. On the contrary, I haven't played, just been as I am, despite she was a bit stressed talking to me first times, she's gotten used to it. Not gone into NC because I think it is useless.

 

It is very complicated, she's kinda that gold digger type of woman but not exactly, I think she likes power and money, despite I am not ultra rich two things that I possess (alongside with other traits we seem to fit each other). My situation is ****ed up because it is a LDR (visa probs, my dad had a brain problem a grave disease since Dec 09 so I had to deal with & all that) I told her exactly that if I was able to make it there then no one would be able to steal her from me. I am mixed with feelings, sometimes anger (circumstances), sometimes pissed off with her, sometimes missing her badly etc. Thinking about our case as well, sometimes I can not help but think she's right because it was very hard for both of us to hold on only seeing each other a couple of months every year.

 

What I can say for sure is that, I still am in love with her, nothing has changed, and that I am not gonna get into that NC crap because I follow my heart. Life is too short and I do not want to miss it wherever it may lead me, still it's life and I want to live it and I am not scared to face it.

 

Cheers hun