What_Next Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 MJEW as much as I'd like to lash out (I'd be one of the first) towards you for being the RAW, I just can't. I'd actually like to thank you for posting this. My wife almost went through a similiar behavior pattern, but we have thus far managed to reconcile. I applaud you for coming here and telling the real story, maybe somewhere, sometime some other woman can read this and they can get perspective. However, I have to be honest and say that is unlikely. Well done for re-connecting with your family and moving on with your life. Good luck and god's speed. Link to post Share on other sites
habs53 Posted July 19, 2010 Share Posted July 19, 2010 MJEW as much as I'd like to lash out (I'd be one of the first) towards you for being the RAW, I just can't. I'd actually like to thank you for posting this. My wife almost went through a similiar behavior pattern, but we have thus far managed to reconcile. I applaud you for coming here and telling the real story, maybe somewhere, sometime some other woman can read this and they can get perspective. However, I have to be honest and say that is unlikely. Well done for re-connecting with your family and moving on with your life. Good luck and god's speed. I would like to think they would as well. Sometimes admitting you are wrong is a very hard thing. Rather ruin your life than admit to this. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 What have you decided to do, if anything? Enjoy my summer..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author MJEW Posted July 20, 2010 Author Share Posted July 20, 2010 There is. If you leave, you'll take that unhappiness with you instead of leaving it behind. You could leave and chase butterflies with someone else, but that fog only masks the unhappiness for a short while, then you'll be right back where you are now. I think we all know this intuitively but we don't know how to address the unhappiness within in us, even if we recognize it. We get frustrated and impatient with trying and eventually choose the easy path--chasing butterflies. Spriggig what you said here hits the nail directly, thank you...You are absoutley right about the chasing butterflies. Leaving my ex was one thing, but not dealing with the issues that were there, inside of me, was the worst thing for me I realize now, cause it's true, it does follow you until you deal with it. I always thought that I had dealt with it though, but what I really did was bury it, and when I went to get the divorce the first time in 2007, I knew that I was not ready. Not ready to divorce him, maybe there was some hope there for a reconciliation, something has to be done. So I pushed forward and asked for another chance. Only to screw it up again 3 months later. And what did I do? Instead of dealing with it, I ran back to the OM where it was safe. I gave my ex the divorce in 2008, I wanted him to move on and be happy because he certainly deserved it. I guess the point is, I did chase those butterflies, and when the fog cleared, I know that the problem lies within myself, I have to fix myself and deal with my inner demons. Steadfast- yes you are right "the trick to lessening the burden is first recognizing it's there." I have learned that this year. And even though I tried to deal with it before, I went about it in the wrong way, and I wasn't ready to face it. I knew what was wrong but I did not have the courage to stand up and fix it. Now I do have the courage to fix and I also have the strength to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MJEW Posted July 20, 2010 Author Share Posted July 20, 2010 Enjoy my summer..... I love your attitude Link to post Share on other sites
solitary_man Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 Enjoy my summer..... now that made me LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
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