When do you decide to give up dating?

[bananaboat11]

If the guy I like dumps me, I am completely done with dating. Screw it, I will not go through the heartache again. I will also make a vow never to go to church again because it's God's fault this happened. Sounds extreme, but I've been put through way too much heartache.

 

Just a few things I've been put through:

A guy dumped me on Sweetest Day because he wanted to ask another girl out. He also had a party that day and didn't invite me (but invited my enemies, whom he swore he didn't like).

Another guy dumped me on Valentines Day and I later found out was sleeping with another girl.

I gave money to this one guy I was dating to come visit me (he lived 4 hours away). Instead he used the money to buy another girl jewelry.

Countless guys who only wanted me for sex. When they got what they wanted (or didn't get) they dumped me.

Guys that insisted they'd never marry, yet ended up marrying the next girl.

Guys that I developed a crush on that had zero interest in me.

Guys that conned me into thinking they liked me but wanted my money.

 

And on and on. I am a good person, I DESERVE someone, but I'd rather be alone than hurt again. We all go through heartache but I've dealt with far too much. I did pray to God that this one works, so I have faith it will. If not, then it's over and no more dating ever.

 

Wow. I'm so sorry sweetie.

 

I hate ****ass stupid guys who do this to legitimately good girls (like you) and ruin it for us good guys (not nice guys, but good guys... y'know the type... alpha male gentlemen). Do not be afraid to love again... but do keep your heart guarded.

 

Happy Valentine's Day, love.

[deux ex machina]

You've gotten some great advice on this thread.

 

I'm sorry you feel so down right now.

[Sharla]

If the guy I like dumps me, I am completely done with dating. Screw it, I will not go through the heartache again. I will also make a vow never to go to church again because it's God's fault this happened. Sounds extreme, but I've been put through way too much heartache.

 

Just a few things I've been put through:

A guy dumped me on Sweetest Day because he wanted to ask another girl out. He also had a party that day and didn't invite me (but invited my enemies, whom he swore he didn't like).

Another guy dumped me on Valentines Day and I later found out was sleeping with another girl.

I gave money to this one guy I was dating to come visit me (he lived 4 hours away). Instead he used the money to buy another girl jewelry.

Countless guys who only wanted me for sex. When they got what they wanted (or didn't get) they dumped me.

Guys that insisted they'd never marry, yet ended up marrying the next girl.

Guys that I developed a crush on that had zero interest in me.

Guys that conned me into thinking they liked me but wanted my money.

 

And on and on. I am a good person, I DESERVE someone, but I'd rather be alone than hurt again. We all go through heartache but I've dealt with far too much. I did pray to God that this one works, so I have faith it will. If not, then it's over and no more dating ever.

 

I think there are lots of people who feel the way you do (both men AND women). I've had both sides of the spectrum, guys who I've lost interest in, and guys who have lost interest in me. So I don't think that your situation is so unique in that sense, right?

 

My single female friend finally got me to go to one of those single events, and at first I didn't want to go and I kinda forced myself too. But I actually ended up really enjoying it. Not with the intent to meet someone, but just to talk and socialize with other single people, it was nice and I met some really cool people.

[calazhage]

Are you using sex to acquire guys out of your league?

 

I have noticed internet females do this especially..

 

When is the last time a guy took you out about 15 - 20 times BEFORE sex?

[angelaM]

I can relate to not wanting to try again. Not because I've been treated badly or been taken advantage of, but because the pain of loss can be so deep, no matter how it comes about. I am still healing from my recent breakup so my view is skewed. But if you have a history of not just heartache but being used or disrespected, maybe you are trying too hard to find love. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be alone, I mean it isn't what I really want either, but it is certainly better than being homeless or getting cancer or something. Life isn't fair, that much I know. But I know married couples who are bored to tears with each other. I would certainly rather be alone than in a bad relationship.

[Chitowngirl]

I kinda feel like giving up on dating right now.

[D-Lish]

I haven't given up on dating- but I don't exactly have a positive feeling about it, and haven't for many years.

 

When I meet someone I really like, I inevitably start to think about the possible pain it could cause me if I were to lose them- and that's when my CP sets in. I start to distance myself, even sabotage things.

[bayouboi]

I'm trying to give it up. I'm constantly trying to fight off the part of me that wants to be with someone. It always seems like when I want to be with someone I give off bad vibes that acts as a repellant, but as soon as I genuinely don't want someone...there they are.

 

 

When I meet someone I really like, I inevitably start to think about the possible pain it could cause me if I were to lose them- and that's when my CP sets in. I start to distance myself, even sabotage things.

 

Pardon me, but what is CP?

[carhill]

CP=commitment phobia

[Johnny M]

I will also make a vow never to go to church again because it's God's fault this happened.

No, it's not God's fault - it is 100% your fault. Either you failed to do whatever was necessary to make the relationship work, or you suck at selecting partners and went for someone who was not a good match for you. Blaming God for your failed relationships is beyond lame.

[Johnny M]

Just a few things I've been put through:

A guy dumped me on Sweetest Day because he wanted to ask another girl out. He also had a party that day and didn't invite me (but invited my enemies, whom he swore he didn't like).

Another guy dumped me on Valentines Day and I later found out was sleeping with another girl.

I gave money to this one guy I was dating to come visit me (he lived 4 hours away). Instead he used the money to buy another girl jewelry.

Countless guys who only wanted me for sex. When they got what they wanted (or didn't get) they dumped me.

Guys that insisted they'd never marry, yet ended up marrying the next girl.

Guys that I developed a crush on that had zero interest in me.

Guys that conned me into thinking they liked me but wanted my money.

 

And on and on. I am a good person, I DESERVE someone, but I'd rather be alone than hurt again. We all go through heartache but I've dealt with far too much. I did pray to God that this one works, so I have faith it will. If not, then it's over and no more dating ever.

To add to my above post, it seems that in addition to going for the wrong type of men, you are also extremely naive. I mean, giving money to men you are dating? Who the hell does that? As for developing crushes on guys who have zero interest, that's likely a case of unrealistic standards and expectations.

 

Perhaps it's a good idea to stay away from dating for a while because you are obviously not very good at it. Use the break to reflect upon yourself, your standards and your expectations and maybe even get some professional help. But do realize that the problem lies in you - not in God, the Devil or some other external force. Everything that has happened to you is a direct consequence of your own character flaws.