Author jb89 Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 Reading things like this really help with boosting my confidence when I start having doubts throughout the day. I appreciate it, man. Big time.
sean1 Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 my friend. this site saved me from falling into depression. i would still be sat here crying my sorrows out and messaging had i not had a chance to see what others had experienced or done. i guess we learn from the mistakes in each relationship until eventually we find that perfect person within ourselves! my final view on my scenario was: why should i want someone that ended it with me? would i see myself in the future with this girl? do we have the same ambitions in life? after this can i trust her to trust me? then ofc i said to myself...is there someone better? is there someone out there that would love me forever? never have want to break up with me? imsure there is
Author jb89 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 my friend. this site saved me from falling into depression. i would still be sat here crying my sorrows out and messaging had i not had a chance to see what others had experienced or done. i guess we learn from the mistakes in each relationship until eventually we find that perfect person within ourselves! my final view on my scenario was: why should i want someone that ended it with me? would i see myself in the future with this girl? do we have the same ambitions in life? after this can i trust her to trust me? then ofc i said to myself...is there someone better? is there someone out there that would love me forever? never have want to break up with me? imsure there is I wouldn't necessarily answer those questions with a yes for anyone I'd get into a relationship right now though. I'm only 20, the girl I'm dealing with is 17, I'm sure I'm going to get blasted with the whole 'maturity' thing, and that's one of the things that is making me really believe she doesn't understand me when I said I needed to not talk to her, and that I wasn't ready to talk to her as a friend, etc. I mean, I understand what you're getting at with the whole "Do you see yourself with her in _ years, do you agree on _" I'm still somewhat young, I don't think that any relationship I got into right now would equate to spending the rest of my life with them. I've questioned the whole point of relationships, related to that, but it's just a matter of wanting happiness. I'm rambling.
Author jb89 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 So I talked to a friend last night who told me she's been in the same position as my ex before. She said the complete opposite of what most other people have told me. She said that my ex isn't pretending to be happy, and it's not a facade, but she really is fine, because she broke up with me on her own terms. Hearing this really set me back. I know it "doesn't matter what she's doing or how she feels" because it's all about me getting over her, but does this sound right to anyone?
sean1 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 So I talked to a friend last night who told me she's been in the same position as my ex before. She said the complete opposite of what most other people have told me. She said that my ex isn't pretending to be happy, and it's not a facade, but she really is fine, because she broke up with me on her own terms. Hearing this really set me back. I know it "doesn't matter what she's doing or how she feels" because it's all about me getting over her, but does this sound right to anyone? hmmm you should avoid talking to people about your ex. especiallymutual friends. its like braking n.c itl just make you more depressed knowing shes happy as well. i know my ex has been going out and to make matters worse its her bday next week! but the story is to forget which is what your trying to achieve! m8 it is very hard. i still miss my ex but thats all i want to feel. i dont want to feel love for her. i just want to let go. you need to just have a huge release of all your emotions. if you want to cry then do it! its all part of recovering! let it all go my friend! remember imagine shes dead. pretty extreme but it is working for me. i dont just tell my self i cant get with her. i make myself know i cant
Author jb89 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 hmmm you should avoid talking to people about your ex. especiallymutual friends. its like braking n.c itl just make you more depressed knowing shes happy as well. i know my ex has been going out and to make matters worse its her bday next week! but the story is to forget which is what your trying to achieve! m8 it is very hard. i still miss my ex but thats all i want to feel. i dont want to feel love for her. i just want to let go. you need to just have a huge release of all your emotions. if you want to cry then do it! its all part of recovering! let it all go my friend! remember imagine shes dead. pretty extreme but it is working for me. i dont just tell my self i cant get with her. i make myself know i cant I know, I know, I'm doing my best. Today I went to lunch with my ex, we talked for a long time, and after leaving I got a text thanking me for coming, since we had been talking about doing it for awhile, but never followed through. I told her no need to thank me, and it was good catching up, and she said we should do it again sometime soon. This is all good, and I'm glad that I'm being reassured that there are other people. But the second I left the restaurant even, I started thinking about my ex, and whether or not she is also still thinking about me, how she's doing, etc.
sean1 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 I know, I know, I'm doing my best. Today I went to lunch with my ex, we talked for a long time, and after leaving I got a text thanking me for coming, since we had been talking about doing it for awhile, but never followed through. I told her no need to thank me, and it was good catching up, and she said we should do it again sometime soon. This is all good, and I'm glad that I'm being reassured that there are other people. But the second I left the restaurant even, I started thinking about my ex, and whether or not she is also still thinking about me, how she's doing, etc. the ex that you done n/c with? remember my friend. she could be doing this using you as a safety net. on another post i commented like this. she finished yousowhy should she stillwant to date you? either she has eyes for someone else and wants you there forbackup or shes using this very same thing toget over you quicker. my words ofadvice are same toyou. why use your love on someone that treats you as an option rather than a priority?
Author jb89 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 the ex that you done n/c with? remember my friend. she could be doing this using you as a safety net. on another post i commented like this. she finished yousowhy should she stillwant to date you? either she has eyes for someone else and wants you there forbackup or shes using this very same thing toget over you quicker. my words ofadvice are same toyou. why use your love on someone that treats you as an option rather than a priority? Noooo way. This is an ex that I've been on good terms with since our breakup 3 years ago. We weren't in a serious relationship, and we were both much younger.
sean1 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Noooo way. This is an ex that I've been on good terms with since our breakup 3 years ago. We weren't in a serious relationship, and we were both much younger. gdgd!!! didnt think you would give in so easily! you know the score! N/C! dont even talk to anyone that would mention her and if they do ask them not to! and dont tellher friendshow you have been because it will all get back to your ex! you need to make sure she knows your better off without her! you dont NEED her. its just that you CHOSE to WANT her at the time. its her loss my friend. your a nice guy. it only gets better!
Author jb89 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 I'm dealing with it, some nights get beyond ridiculous with coping though. So hard. But, what you said about mutual friends, I made sure to delete all of our mutual friends from facebook, and stopped contact with them a couple weeks ago when I deleted her. She flipped out on me for this, really weird. It's all just about getting over her now and trying my best to cope, and sometimes telling myself that I'm not the only one hurting helps a bit I guess
sean1 Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 your a smart guy! youve got everything in the bag m8. some girl will be lucky to find you one day! me and you will still be talking on here in 6 months time and i bet we both look back and say it was all worth it. determination paid off! just about being strong and talking to people in the same situation i suppose. it really does help when you know there is others out ther and your not the only one! remember she will be hurting as well as you said. she probably went angry at you when you deleted friends because she can now not keep 'tabs' on you. she would of used them as feeders or used them to put you down! keep us updated on your prgress m8!
Author jb89 Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 your a smart guy! youve got everything in the bag m8. some girl will be lucky to find you one day! me and you will still be talking on here in 6 months time and i bet we both look back and say it was all worth it. determination paid off! just about being strong and talking to people in the same situation i suppose. it really does help when you know there is others out ther and your not the only one! remember she will be hurting as well as you said. she probably went angry at you when you deleted friends because she can now not keep 'tabs' on you. she would of used them as feeders or used them to put you down! keep us updated on your prgress m8! You're right, it really does help big time talking to others in the same position as me. I could only imagine that's why she was mad when I deleted her and all of our mutual friends. She sent me 3 texts and 2 IMs when she realized i did it questioning why I'd do that. I eventually confronted her and asked her why she freaked out about it and she told me because 'her friends got mad' which didn't add up much to me. When she did realize that I had deleted her and all our mutual friends, she posted on her twitter that her whole day had turned to ****, so I could only assume she was hurting a bit from it because she wasn't as in control as she thought. Nothing really came of that though, I guess.
Author jb89 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 So, I found out tonight that the guy I had suspected she had been interested in, is going to see her this weekend. At this point, I don't care about reconciliation. I just want her to know that I know what she's been doing, and I want to make it known that I regret everything I did with her, and how much of a fool I was for trusting her. Should I do this? I don't care about a second chance anymore.
sean1 Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 So, I found out tonight that the guy I had suspected she had been interested in, is going to see her this weekend. At this point, I don't care about reconciliation. I just want her to know that I know what she's been doing, and I want to make it known that I regret everything I did with her, and how much of a fool I was for trusting her. Should I do this? I don't care about a second chance anymore. ok now erm.... lets just see the two options. 1. u dnt say anything you live on in n/c noing shes seeing others. then if she texts you. u no she is playing u and dosesnt repsect u at all. 2.u text her saying ino the way it is. i aint a safety net for you. you arnt the girl i met. u have changed. im so happy i managed to get away from you before it was too late! or sumet like tht... the second one lets you basically get everything off your chest! it made me feel better when i toldmy ex never to talk 2 me again! i recon you go 4 tht 1!!!
Author jb89 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 ok now erm.... lets just see the two options. 1. u dnt say anything you live on in n/c noing shes seeing others. then if she texts you. u no she is playing u and dosesnt repsect u at all. 2.u text her saying ino the way it is. i aint a safety net for you. you arnt the girl i met. u have changed. im so happy i managed to get away from you before it was too late! or sumet like tht... the second one lets you basically get everything off your chest! it made me feel better when i toldmy ex never to talk 2 me again! i recon you go 4 tht 1!!! I have been trying my best to prevent myself from doing that, I posted this new situation at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2650934 and a lot of people have given me some really good insight. It's helped me thus far from making myself look like an ass!
selena_cat Posted February 10, 2010 Posted February 10, 2010 JB in hte beginning of the Post yous eem to be doing gerat,in a way being unavailable,that you should have stuck with the same attitude,thats what made you more apealing,even i wanted to ask you how you did it. Like Cali says she wants you to be there in the backburner as an option, i ercomend now that you know or suspect she may be into someone else is to cut all contact,really.why have the King cake and eat it too. Hope it helps
CaliGuy Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Hi guys, my name is Kimberley Kennedy and I was left at the altar the day before my dream wedding. Not to mention, since I was an anchor on NBC in Atlanta it was a very public engagement and breakup. I am looking for stories of women and men who have gone thru similar situations.. it could be from 2 weeks before the wedding or the day of, like me. I have written a book called "Left at the Altar" and it has helped many brides to be get back on their feet and motivated me to love my life again. I would love to hear others stories to include in a new book, please reach out if you have one... sobeclassics@hotmail.com Would like to hear your story... why not post it here on LS? I'm sure we have our own fair share of "Left at the altar" stories here....
Author jb89 Posted February 12, 2010 Author Posted February 12, 2010 JB in hte beginning of the Post yous eem to be doing gerat,in a way being unavailable,that you should have stuck with the same attitude,thats what made you more apealing,even i wanted to ask you how you did it. Like Cali says she wants you to be there in the backburner as an option, i ercomend now that you know or suspect she may be into someone else is to cut all contact,really.why have the King cake and eat it too. Hope it helps I posted everything in this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2650934 and I've stuck to no contact since a week and a half ago when I told her that I wasn't cool with being friends, and asked her to not talk to me. I've only heard from her once when she told me she needed to talk to me, 4 days after I told her not to talk to me anymore. I ignored the texts she sent me. She's moved on I guess, somehow. Not sure how you go from being in love to just being content with someone else and not having any remorse, but some girls are monsters I guess.
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