Girlfriend looks at her ex's Facebook pages regularly

[meerkat stew]

I looked at an ex's FB 5+ times last week because she has been stalking me with all those weird questionnaires, mafia crap, noxious farms and some kind of zoo nonsense, pissant cyber greeting cards, and other detritus, stuff I always ignore from anyone, hoping she will change to "in a relationship" with the doofus she is now dating and stop bothering me. She's incredibly clingy and insecure, and I'd rather bathe in pee than spend another minute with her ever. I still look at her page quite regularly though to feel better about myself and the heinous bullet I dodged.

 

Does that mean I really want to get back with her deep down?

 

People look at exes for differing reasons on FB, doesn't mean they want back with them.

 

And worst of all! Somebody keeps giving me $500 dollars for my zoo, every fricking day, I think it's that crazy ex. I don't HAVE a damn cyber zoo, but if I did, I could afford a cage full of pandas by now. Please god make it stop, make the zoo spam go away! I'm sorry I made fun of the poor little meerkats, Lord, I never really cooked them or made them into a stew, please forgive me and make it stop, o please make it stop!

[kiss_andmakeup]

I looked at an ex's FB 5+ times last week because she has been stalking me with all those weird questionnaires, mafia crap, noxious farms and some kind of zoo nonsense, pissant cyber greeting cards, and other detritus, stuff I always ignore from anyone, hoping she will change to "in a relationship" with the doofus she is now dating and stop bothering me. She's incredibly clingy and insecure, and I'd rather bathe in pee than spend another minute with her ever. I still look at her page quite regularly though to feel better about myself and the heinous bullet I dodged.

 

Does that mean I really want to get back with her deep down?

 

People look at exes for differing reasons on FB, doesn't mean they want back with them.

 

And worst of all! Somebody keeps giving me $500 dollars for my zoo, every fricking day, I think it's that crazy ex. I don't HAVE a damn cyber zoo, but if I did, I could afford a cage full of pandas by now. Please god make it stop, make the zoo spam go away! I'm sorry I made fun of the poor little meerkats, Lord, I never really cooked them or made them into a stew, please forgive me and make it stop, o please make it stop!

 

This is a good point. I have an ex and I check his facebook semi-regularly, but it's certainly not because I'm interested in him. Quite the contrary. I'll think he's finally over it and then he'll go and do something like adding my mom as a friend (she ignored but sent me a message about how creeped out she was), or send my boyfriend a message asking how I'm doing. Just bizarre. Every time I check his page it's in hopes that his status will have changed to "In a Relationship."

[meerkat stew]

I'll think he's finally over it and then he'll go and do something like adding my mom as a friend (she ignored but sent me a message about how creeped out she was), or send my boyfriend a message asking how I'm doing.

 

HAHAHAHA :laugh: adding the mom as a friend just made my evening, o the pain. Thankfully haven't had that yet, and that is a great reason I shouldn't encourage my parents to get on FB any more.

[kiss_andmakeup]

HAHAHAHA :laugh: adding the mom as a friend just made my evening, o the pain. Thankfully haven't had that yet, and that is a great reason I shouldn't encourage my parents to get on FB any more.

 

Don't encourage them! Unless you want daily wall posts saying "Hi Sweetie! I love you! XOXO Mom"

[meerkat stew]

Don't encourage them! Unless you want daily wall posts saying "Hi Sweetie! I love you! XOXO Mom"

 

haha, mine would be wall posts to the effect of "Have you gotten over that stomach virus yet? Remember to drink lots of fluids if you have diarhhea XXOO," or "I see that cute Betsy B is on your friends list, did you ever ask her out? XXOO" or "I hate your hair like that, and you have gained 10 pounds at least since that picture, don't you have a more current one? You look good a little heavier XXOO"

[OnlyJake]

I looked at an ex's FB 5+ times last week because she has been stalking me with all those weird questionnaires, mafia crap, noxious farms and some kind of zoo nonsense, pissant cyber greeting cards, and other detritus, stuff I always ignore from anyone, hoping she will change to "in a relationship" with the doofus she is now dating and stop bothering me. She's incredibly clingy and insecure, and I'd rather bathe in pee than spend another minute with her ever. I still look at her page quite regularly though to feel better about myself and the heinous bullet I dodged.

 

Does that mean I really want to get back with her deep down?

 

People look at exes for differing reasons on FB, doesn't mean they want back with them.

 

And worst of all! Somebody keeps giving me $500 dollars for my zoo, every fricking day, I think it's that crazy ex. I don't HAVE a damn cyber zoo, but if I did, I could afford a cage full of pandas by now. Please god make it stop, make the zoo spam go away! I'm sorry I made fun of the poor little meerkats, Lord, I never really cooked them or made them into a stew, please forgive me and make it stop, o please make it stop!

 

:love::love::love:

I stalk your posts a dozen times a day, mining for good Scrabble words. I just used "naires" for question and am filing away noxious and heinous for future use.

 

I'm pretty sure I said this elsewhere, but in case I didn't: this whole thing is made even more ordinary than it already was by the fact that she does this to everyone. Her ex-boyfriends aren't getting any special treatment here.

 

OP, update us!

[FooFighter]

I'll have an update today!

 

Both those guys are single/want her back, so she could have gone back to them ages back. I know it's not that, we have a great relationship otherwise. I think she's just gotten into the habit of looking at their Facebook that often. ofcourse I could be wrong, but she is very committed to our relationship as far as I can tell (no other weird behavior). anyway I'll see what she tells me coz whatever the reason, this still isnt "normal".

 

I don't want to tell her to block them etc coz that won't solve this "problem". I need to know what her underlying reasons are for visiting their Facebook that often/at all. Blocking them isn't going to get rid of that.

Edited February 1, 2010 by FooFighter

[meerkat stew]

I just used "naires" for question and am filing away noxious and heinous for future use.

 

I don't even know that one, or is it like "If my roommate ever "naires" off all my pubic hairs ("haires?") again when I'm passed out, I'm going to euthanize his guinea pig?"

 

"Heinous" is a great speaking word, to add effect mispronounce it like we do in the South, "hy-e-nous," as if it refers to something having to do with hyenas. I think the great Fred Gwynne (RIP, Herman Munster) may have pronounced it this way as the judge in "My Cousin Vinny," but can't remember for sure.

 

To go somewhat back OT, why on earth, what inclination or impulse possesses people, and makes them think it's a -good- idea, to use any of those external FB apps and then spread the vileness of them, like a virus, to their supposed "friends?" I just don't care that some dude I knew in the fifth grade recently uncovered a stash of Uzis in mafia wars. If he finds a real Uzi in his backyard, now that's interesting, come over and we can shoot some cans and bottles. But I don't want your cyber Uzi or news of it!

[CaliGuy]

I'll have an update today!

 

Both those guys are single/want her back, so she could have gone back to them ages back. I know it's not that, we have a great relationship otherwise. I think she's just gotten into the habit of looking at their Facebook that often. ofcourse I could be wrong, but she is very committed to our relationship as far as I can tell (no other weird behavior). anyway I'll see what she tells me coz whatever the reason, this still isnt "normal".

 

I don't want to tell her to block them etc coz that won't solve this "problem". I need to know what her underlying reasons are for visiting their Facebook that often/at all. Blocking them isn't going to get rid of that.

 

By not setting a boundary and putting your foot down, you are actually ENCOURAGING her bad behavior.

 

Hate to sound mean but to quote R. Lee Ermey "Reach down and act like ya got a pair!" This bothers you and you are not communicating it with her in a clear, decisive and MANLY manner that you are not going to tolerate it.

 

I don't care if it's habitual. The fact that their pages say "Single" and her viewing them so often is an open invitation for her to drop you and jump to one of them. If that is the case, it's better you find out NOW than waiting.

 

Do the right thing and set a boundary with her. She has a choice to make. Stop it or get dumped. You are giving her a choice with her behavior, which is the fair thing to do. Be a confident, strong, self-assured man with her.

 

Women LIKE men who know HOW to be a good, strong man. You're not acting like one right now.

[BG1985]

It'd be a little better if she was clicking on things that pop on her news feed, but it's a whole other game when she is searching for these guys. I'm not on Facebook anymore, but what all can be seen on a closed profile when you are not friends with the person? Is it just a picture and basic information such as Hometown, College, Work, etc? Are you able to tell whether this person is single or in a relationship?

[jw90063]

I think some people make too big a deal out of these things. I see the OP's concern or feeling a bit uncomfortable about this, but unless she is actually communicating with the guys, it's not the worst thing. FB is simply another way of making it incredibly easy to pull up people's profiles, and especially if their "wall" is viewable by anyone. I've looked at my ex's just because I'm curious what they are up to. It's usually when I'm real bored or something. It can sort of become a habit, so maybe she just got in a bad habit of pulling up their profile, since it's only one click away.

 

I think up to 4 times, while she is in a relationship is a little questionable. I mean is she that bored and on FB all the time? Personally, if I was in a relationship, I wouldn't be looking up any ex's profiles(at least not 3-4 times a week), but I don't see why people make a big deal if someone does look at ex's. It's easy to say, that their ex should be no concern to them, but sometimes it's fun just to look.

[BG1985]

This whole "habit" argument is a bunch of bull. Could I tell my potential girlfriend that I look at nude photos and watch sex tapes I made with an ex-girlfriend out of habit? I only do it about 3-4 times a week. However, I only love you and I don't actually communicate with my exes.

 

Who knows whether this girl is actually communicating or not? You say her exes' profiles are just a click away. Leaving a private message in the inbox is just another few clicks and keystrokes away. If this girl really keeps up with all of her friends, how much time is she spending on Facebook per day?

[OnlyJake]

This whole "habit" argument is a bunch of bull. Could I tell my potential girlfriend that I look at nude photos and watch sex tapes I made with an ex-girlfriend out of habit? I only do it about 3-4 times a week. However, I only love you and I don't actually communicate with my exes.

 

Who knows whether this girl is actually communicating or not? You say her exes' profiles are just a click away. Leaving a private message in the inbox is just another few clicks and keystrokes away. If this girl really keeps up with all of her friends, how much time is she spending on Facebook per day?

Apples to oragnes my friend. Sex and nudity is completely different from an innocent lil' FB profile.

 

Since the OP is playing PI and checking up on his girlfriend, he would know if they were communicating. That information would show up in her browser history along with whose profiles she's visiting.

[jw90063]

Looking at nude photos and watching sex tapes with an ex gf 3-4 times a week, is far worse than glimpsing at an ex's FB page. I did say it's questionable since she is in a relationship with the OP, and viewing them up to 4 times a week is questionable. I don't quite understand this, but I do think it could be a bad habit. She's spending too much time on the site in general, and it's so easy just to type in a name and look at their profile while in the process of using the site. Some people just like doing that sort of thing. Maybe she is just being nosey, or obsessed with FB and viewing profiles.

 

Who knows if it means anything, or that she wants to get back with one of them. If personally I was happy in a relationship, I wouldn't even spend much time online, or not likely be looking up anyone, especially an ex. I would say she has too much time on her hands, and maybe not even with the OP(her BF).

[OnlyJake]

Maybe she is just being nosey, or obsessed with FB and viewing profiles.

Yes, the OP stated somewhere in here at least once that this is the case with her, but everyone seems to be ignoring this fact LoL, because clearly there has to be something shady going on.

[jw90063]

Yes, the OP stated somewhere in here at least once that this is the case with her, but everyone seems to be ignoring this fact LoL, because clearly there has to be something shady going on.

 

I see. I didn't actually read much of the thread at all. I just think its silly to automatically assume she is wanting to get back with an ex or it's completely abnormal to view the profiles.

[BG1985]

She was doing this on HIS computer. Or at least that's when he first noticed it. I don't know if she constantly does this on his computer, or if he snoops around on hers. And yes, I did go a little too far with my example. Either way, this guy's girlfriend is still getting some sort of emotional fulfillment from keeping tabs on her ex-boyfriends so often. If she truly doesn't, then she has some sort of actual addiction to Facebook. It's natural to be curious and see what your ex is up to EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Like once or twice a year. Maybe a few minutes of small talk when you run into your ex somewhere.

[OnlyJake]

I see. I didn't actually read much of the thread at all. I just think its silly to automatically assume she is wanting to get back with an ex or it's completely abnormal to view the profiles.

That wasn't really directed at you, as I completely agree with you. Everyone's just making this out to be a BFD, and the ex-bfs aren't getting any special treatment or anything...that's just the way she is (apparently)...with EVERYONE.

 

She was doing this on HIS computer. Or at least that's when he first noticed it.

Yeah, so? All this makes me think is that she doesn't think she's doing anything wrong, and she's not being shady. She's not trying to cover her tracks or anything; further proof, IMO that there's no deep emotional connection that she's trying to get back.

 

don't know if she constantly does this on his computer, or if he snoops around on hers.

The fact that the OP specified how he found out the first time, but not after that, leads me to believe he snooped. Especially given that the circumstances that caused her to use his comp in the first place may or may not have repeated themselves. But you're right, he didn't say.

 

Either way, this guy's girlfriend is still getting some sort of emotional fulfillment from keeping tabs on her ex-boyfriends so often.

How could you possibly know this? Your statement is erroneous.

[meerkat stew]

OK, OP, let's get this settled right now.

 

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Many happy customers have referred to our technique as like a "neutron bomb," it only hurts the wrongdoer. We charge $5000 for this service, which may sound like a lot to pay for what amounts to a small stick of dynamite going off in your GFs face, but our liability insurance premiums are extremely high due to frequent litigation. Many satisfied customers have offered testimonials on our page www.weblowupfacebookexlurkers.com.

 

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[jw90063]

She was doing this on HIS computer. Or at least that's when he first noticed it. I don't know if she constantly does this on his computer, or if he snoops around on hers. And yes, I did go a little too far with my example. Either way, this guy's girlfriend is still getting some sort of emotional fulfillment from keeping tabs on her ex-boyfriends so often. If she truly doesn't, then she has some sort of actual addiction to Facebook. It's natural to be curious and see what your ex is up to EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Like once or twice a year. Maybe a few minutes of small talk when you run into your ex somewhere.

 

Strange she does this on his computer, but just the fact she does, may be a good sign it's something harmless. Do you really think if she had emotions for her ex's or she was up to something, she would be looking them up on her current BF's computer? Well, unless she is completely dense and doesn't think. Doesn't sound like she is being too sneaky about it though. It does sound like he doesn't trust her.

 

Once or twice a year to look up an ex? While that may sound more understandable, I think because the internet makes it so convenient to find people etc, some people tend to check up on people way more often than this. I just personally know, I've looked up some people on FB(not just ex Bf's), and you almost get in a habit of checking their wall or profile when you are logged in(if viewable that is), just to see what they are going to say next or what photos pop up. I find it kind of entertaining, if you are incredibly bored that is. Maybe she needs to find something else better to do in her spare time.

[BG1985]

 

How could you possibly know this? Your statement is erroneous.

 

Then why else is she looking at their profiles? Just for the hell of it? You mean to tell me this girl actually goes through the profile of every single one of her friends on Facebook multiple times per week? Even checks profiles of people that aren't Facebook friends? I'm not even saying she's trying to leave her current boyfriend to reunite with a previous boyfriend. However I still think it's inappropriate for her to be constantly keep tabs on her exes. She has to be getting some kind of fulfillment out of it.

[OnlyJake]

FB is a great source of entertainment. It's one place to go for every piece of celebrity gossip, breaking news story, viral videos, etc. that everyone is watching/doing/whatever. Except, with FB, you get the added bonus of having a front row seat to the drama of some of the biggest trainwrecks who are friends of friends or whatever.

[OnlyJake]

She spends a LOT of time on Facebook generally looking at friend's profiles/pictures etc and I don't really care about that. Here's the annoying part: She visited me this summer, and used my computer obviously. I noticed later on that she had visited her two ex's facebook pages a couple of times. I didn't think too much of it then, because I thought it was just a one-time thing and she might have been curious to see what they were up to etc, just like everyone else,

 

Then why else is she looking at their profiles? Just for the hell of it? You mean to tell me this girl actually goes through the profile of every single one of her friends on Facebook multiple times per week? Even checks profiles of people that aren't Facebook friends? I'm not even saying she's trying to leave her current boyfriend to reunite with a previous boyfriend. However I still think it's inappropriate for her to be constantly keep tabs on her exes. She has to be getting some kind of fulfillment out of it.

No, she doesn't. That is one possibily, yes. But it is not the only possibily, and given that she does this with everyone I don't even think it's a logical possibility.

[jw90063]

Well I do think it may indicate she has some OCD to be constantly checking. I'm not going to say its entirely healthy, but doesn't mean she is not over her ex's or wants to see them again.

 

I admit I have been a little obsessed with the site at times. Not many sites, can you get a daily glimpse of what someone does every 4 hours or so. For instance, a girl I was friends with in high school. She's the type that is on their every couple of hours posting what she is doing, even if it's getting a drink or going shopping to buy a sweater.

 

Why bother watching television, if you have that sort of entertainment?

[BG1985]

Then give me another reason she could be doing it. All you're doing is telling me that I don't know for sure what's going on. What are some reasons you would look at someone's Facebook profile (an ex in particular) multiple times per week. The only way I don't see this as being inappropriate is if she's checking every single profile on her friends list. Why would you keep looking up profiles of people who aren't your friend?