Did I wait too long to call?

[tkgirl]

And as a man, I'm telling you that it works best to let the girl put in a little work in the beginning....helps me weed out the gold diggers, psychos, flakes, etc. Does that makes sense?

 

makes total sense... Good thing you and I aren't trying to date huh?

[Buttnutter100]

You should make plans for the weekend (Fri and Sat) whether that's dating someone else, going out with friends, or going out by yourself to see a favorite band or two.

 

If he calls between now and then, and asks you out for Fri or Saturday, you can say "Gee I already made plans 'cause I didn't hear back from you, can we get together [some other day]"?

 

If you are planning on going somewhere by yourself tell him "Well I'm planning on seeing such and such band on Saturday night, do you want to come out with me?"

 

If he's into that, great, go out, listen to the band, have a good time, let the chips fall. If he's not into that, that's cool too; go see the band by yourself, have a good time, and get together with him at some other mutually convenient time.

 

Right now is the very early stages of the relationship and what you should be trying to mutually negotiate is not gamesmanship but rather ensure that he respects you and has adequate consideration for you. This means you shouldn't get upset if he doesn't return your calls right away (after all you've only had two dates) but on the other hand you shouldn't pine away for the guy either.

 

Live your life the way you want to, be respectful to others, demand respect from them, have fun. If he wants to be a part of your life, he will act accordingly. It's a mutual decision.

 

 

Again I don't think you did anything wrong, you're just a little nervous and uncertain because this is a new person. Maybe he feels exactly the same way and he did not call you because he might feel he was overly aggressive on that date and perhaps afraid that you're not really into him.

 

Try and tone down the anxiety and the stress, try to RELAX, don't be so worried about not doing exactly the right thing at the right time.

[Barky]

makes total sense... Good thing you and I aren't trying to date huh?

 

You've got to find people who are willing to put in an amount of effort that will add up to at least 100%. If you're only willing to put in 25%, then you need to find someone who is willing to put in 75%. Nothing wrong with it, but the less amount of work you're willing to put in, the fewer people who will be open to you.

 

Me, I draw the line at 50, maybe 55%. If the woman isn't going to put in about half the effort, then it never gets off the ground. Probably half the dates I go on never get past the first date or two because I realize that she's a 25-percenter (or whatever) and that doesn't work for me. No big deal. I've met women who were 75-percenters and that's fine.

[citygal1]

I don't think you waited too long. IMO it shouldn't matter who calls whom after a date. Both people should be willing to initate contact.

 

I agree. I would have no problem calling a man after a date if I liked him. It doesn't have to be exactly 50-50. But IMO if one person is making 90%-100% of the initial contact, then the other person often isn't that interested.