xMM's W checking my myspace.....

[NoIDidn't]

That's part of your problem, right there.

You CANNOT do what's best for all 3 parties involved in this shytstorm, which is why you are inconsistent and self-justifying all the time.

You don't even know what is truly best for him, he is not being honest with you, his wife, or himself. How can you possibly know where his heart truly lies and what is in his ultimate best interest?

What the wife believes is best for her is for you to stop playing halfway measures here, go into full, real NC with her husband, for him to get a job elsewhere, for them to go into counseling and for you to be like a teeny tiny speck in their rearview mirror. But you dance around any of this with LC and "but he called me," and maintain a presence in their lives, so of course she maintains a vigil on you (and has the effrontery to let you know about it ).

What's best for YOU is debatable. Many are of the opinion that it is for you to be well away from this man who seems to be toxic for you, but you probably think it is for him to leave his W and return to your open arms.

 

There are too many conflicts of interest here and you are going to have to draw some lines and make some hard choices if you really want to do something approximating what might be 'best' for all of you, instead of muddling along in the middle.

 

Good post!

 

I still don't understand why the W knows about the MySpace page unless her H told her about it. Even him telling her his feelings about hopeless were just part of full disclosure and him asking his W to help him get over the A.

 

Hopeless, its up to you to remove yourself from this. Its unreasonable to ask HER to do it, when you have just as much ability to remove yourself from their lives.

 

I think Stung hit on an important distinction: the fact that she looked and TOLD YOU she is looking. She basically told you "I'm watching you, so behave". That seems like what you don't like.

[norajane]

I started the thread because she text me to tell me she was looking.

 

Yes, she wants you to know so that you remember that she, too, will go pretty far for love.

[pureinheart]

OK so I think I need to just say WHY I started the thread and maybe get a few things straight....

I have NO problem with xMM's W checking any of my public spaces, I read here that it's normal, I also have NO problem with xMM's W hating me, again probably normal.

 

I started the thread because she text me to tell me she was looking. My only vent about the whole thing.

 

Yes I know I should have complete NC with xMM(covered in another thread).

 

My Myspace is mostly for me and my friends but I do use it to promote my sons band, as it is for finding music it makes sense to direct other bands and promoters to my son's bands Myspace.

 

The post I put up was not directed at anyone, it was just how I was thinking at the time and as I was talking to my friends on Myspace at the time it was there I posted.

 

So to those who have advised me in a positive way I thank you and I won't be posting on Myspace again and for those who have posted negative things, think what you want but I truly am trying to do the best for me, xMM and his W in this very messy and emotionally shi**y situation.

 

I am just so sorry you are going through all of this and you have a right to do what you want and say what you want. I don't believe any of your intentions were to hurt anyone at anytime...all of this is just so very hard....and I hope in 2 years you will not even remember his name, if that is what you want.

 

You have a right to be on MySpace and say what you want....you have a right to post here without being ridiculed.

 

My thoughts are with you....

[bittersweet memories]

....you have a right to post here without being ridiculed.

 

 

Exactly!!!!...As do ALL.

[pureinheart]

Exactly!!!!...As do ALL.

 

 

Cool! Totally agree, with respect....

Edited January 30, 2010 by pureinheart