line between male impressiveness and sluttiness

[Goodin]

lol male opinions, please?

 

What I'm mostly looking for is how males perceive another male of this type....

 

 

You are getting to the age where you should start taking it slow. In my experience the best relationships are the ones where Ive waited to have sex and got to know the girl. It makes for a healthier relationship. I think there was something to the concept of no sex before marriage.

 

As far as the male perspective...One of my best friend used to sleep with all kinds of girls, I cant remember the count, but like 50-60, and had 3 somes, two different girls in the same day...and I did think that was kind of sluttly, but the dick in me also briefly commended him, but mostly I could really care less. He is a true friend and that's what really matters. Believe it or not...he is in a relationships and seriously in love with...a virgin! And he loves her so much that he is waiting until marriage to have sex. Now that I commend him for..and commend him WAY more than the 50-60 women he banged out.

[counterman]

You might be commended by some but when you're in your late 20s, I don't think it's that impressive when others might be looking to settle down and have a stable relationship. Some not getting any action would probably be jealous.

 

I have this friend who use to have sex with a different girl each time. I don't know exactly what happened, but it sorta bugged him a little bit (he lost in virginity to a girl during the most important couple of years of studies). He's a fairly intelligent guy but he just loved to party. Now, he finds those shallow flings as meaningless and is with the most wonderful girl in the world (as he describes it) in a relationship that has been going for over a year.

[Jersey Shortie]

I do like a confident man. However, if a man's confidence comes from the number of women he was able to bed, is that even real confidence? He is seeking his personal validation as a man from women. His confidence is based on women. His confidence is based on something shallow, undefined and external.

 

I don't want a man that is so dependent on female validation, weather she is hot or not, to feel good about himself as a man. I think most women don't want a man that is so dependent on female validation that his ablility to get female attention is what makes him feel like a man. Just like most men do not want to responsible for building the confidence in a woman either. I read once that men and women too often seek each other out looking for validation they they should have built within themselves first. I read that one way men express this is through promiscious behavior. Of course, I am not denying that men don't like sex. However, it's clear that the quest for sex is about seeking out a type of masculine validation that they feel is depleated inside of them. And as the OP described, his one sexual encounter left him feeling dirty and empty. Why? Because he was looking for something you can not get from another person. No matter how hot she is.

 

And yes, other men might slap you on the back and cheer you on, but that is because their idea of what confidence is is so depleated they also believe that their validation of masculinity should come from women. No woman on this planet is going to truly respect you if you think your confidence needs to be built on the acceptance of other women.

 

I do not want a man to come to me with questions about himself and his ability and capablility as a man. Everytime a man gets a high off of upping the notches on his bed post, he is getting that high because he validated what he preceives to be his ablility and capablity as a man to be a man. I do not want a man to come to with those quetsions.

 

I want a man to come to me with these questions already defined. Through real marksmenships of what truly defines masculity. Such as honor, respect, integrity, true respect for all people (this includes not disregarding an entire gender's opinion just because they won't be patting you on the back and high fiving you for sleeping with people). All those qualities that truly define a man are what matters. Not how many women he bedded.

 

I look at a man who honors his family, his wife, his children. A man who works to provide and protect for his family with far greater respect then a a man clubbing it up every weekend sleeping with random women.

 

Do I think the OP cares about my little female opinion? No I don't think he really does. However, if his goal is to feel validation among men, then I am sure sleeping with lots of women will make him feel validated as a man. If his goal is to be a real man, then I am sure he will find and discover other ways to accomplish this that go behind being able to insert slot A into slot B.

[Sharla]

Where is your line between experienced and slutty?

 

In keeping it simple, here's an example:

 

Slutty Men:

Colin Farrel

Mickey Rourke

Charlie Sheen

Russell Brand

 

Experienced men:

Josh Duhamel

Matt Damon

Channing Tatum

Christian Bale

[Explorer]

Read this thread and be glad you are not comited to a woman.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t217928/

 

Thanks Woggle. This is precisely part of my fear for committing. How can you be positive when everything surrounding serious relationships/marriages is anything but...

[Nikki Sahagin]

Hey Explorer. I can see this thread is on its last limbs but still thought i'd add my 2 cents.

 

Personally, promiscuity in men doesn't impress me. My first ex was a virgin and I loved that he was; what we had felt wholesome and special. My second ex had slept with 7 girls.

 

I think some girls would be impressed by it because of the competition/bad boy factor but I personally don't like bad boys. I can see their charm of course but i've got a lot of pride and arrogance that stops me going there

 

I think men usually do have a lot of respect for a man that can get a lot of guys. They see him as the alpha male and think they can learn from him. This can work with girls who are attracted to the confidence/dominance.

[Explorer]

I do like a confident man. However, if a man's confidence comes from the number of women he was able to bed, is that even real confidence? He is seeking his personal validation as a man from women. His confidence is based on women. His confidence is based on something shallow, undefined and external.

 

I don't want a man that is so dependent on female validation, weather she is hot or not, to feel good about himself as a man. I think most women don't want a man that is so dependent on female validation that his ablility to get female attention is what makes him feel like a man. Just like most men do not want to responsible for building the confidence in a woman either. I read once that men and women too often seek each other out looking for validation they they should have built within themselves first. I read that one way men express this is through promiscious behavior. Of course, I am not denying that men don't like sex. However, it's clear that the quest for sex is about seeking out a type of masculine validation that they feel is depleated inside of them. And as the OP described, his one sexual encounter left him feeling dirty and empty. Why? Because he was looking for something you can not get from another person. No matter how hot she is.

 

And yes, other men might slap you on the back and cheer you on, but that is because their idea of what confidence is is so depleated they also believe that their validation of masculinity should come from women. No woman on this planet is going to truly respect you if you think your confidence needs to be built on the acceptance of other women.

 

I do not want a man to come to me with questions about himself and his ability and capablility as a man. Everytime a man gets a high off of upping the notches on his bed post, he is getting that high because he validated what he preceives to be his ablility and capablity as a man to be a man. I do not want a man to come to with those quetsions.

 

I want a man to come to me with these questions already defined. Through real marksmenships of what truly defines masculity. Such as honor, respect, integrity, true respect for all people (this includes not disregarding an entire gender's opinion just because they won't be patting you on the back and high fiving you for sleeping with people). All those qualities that truly define a man are what matters. Not how many women he bedded.

 

I look at a man who honors his family, his wife, his children. A man who works to provide and protect for his family with far greater respect then a a man clubbing it up every weekend sleeping with random women.

 

Do I think the OP cares about my little female opinion? No I don't think he really does. However, if his goal is to feel validation among men, then I am sure sleeping with lots of women will make him feel validated as a man. If his goal is to be a real man, then I am sure he will find and discover other ways to accomplish this that go behind being able to insert slot A into slot B.

 

I think calling it validation is a stretch. Everyone wants to feel desired (Especially women), otherwise we wouldn't spend any time looking decent before we head out the door.

 

And if I didn't care about your opinion I wouldn't have started this thread.

[Star Gazer]

I was offended by Star Gazer because instead of giving my original post some quality thought, she jumped to the conclusion that I was bi-sexual because I was curoius of what my male couterparts thought.

 

I never jumped to any conclusion. I merely wondered/ASKED why on Earth you would care what men think of your sack skills or experience, IF you're not bisexual. I still don't understand why you'd care about what men think about your sack skills/experience, if you're not trying to bed them.

 

Why would you be so offended by a question like that? Why would you be so fearful of such a question?

[Star Gazer]

I was in 2 relatively long relationships (one for 2 years and the other 2 1/2) and didn't cheat on them.

 

So 4.5 years of your 27 years, you slept with only those two girls.

 

Assuming you lost your virginity around 17, that means you bedded that many women in less than 6 years.

 

What are you trying to prove by being promiscuous?

[Explorer]

I never jumped to any conclusion. I merely wondered/ASKED why on Earth you would care what men think of your sack skills or experience, IF you're not bisexual. I still don't understand why you'd care about what men think about your sack skills/experience, if you're not trying to bed them.

 

Why would you be so offended by a question like that? Why would you be so fearful of such a question?

 

I was offended because that was a silly question and it came off like you were bitter. That's like me asking you why you care to dress nicely and it must be because you want to sleep with everyone..

 

I'm assuming you thought I started this thread as a means to brag about my experience which explains your tone. I hope the replies have demonstrated otherwise as that couldn't be further from the truth.

[Explorer]

So 4.5 years of your 27 years, you slept with only those two girls.

 

Assuming you lost your virginity around 17, that means you bedded that many women in less than 6 years.

 

What are you trying to prove by being promiscuous?

 

Why does it have to be that I'm proving something? Sex feels good, simply put. And I like to do things that feel good.

 

You don't eat ice cream because you're trying to prove something....

[Nikki Sahagin]

Some people might be promiscuous for attention/pride/ego or even self-loathing but many people are simply because they enjoy sex and are uninhibited. I've personally only slept with 2 people. I don't like the idea of casual sex. But I don't see all promiscuous people as "*****'s' or bad people.

[Explorer]

So 4.5 years of your 27 years, you slept with only those two girls.

 

Assuming you lost your virginity around 17, that means you bedded that many women in less than 6 years.

 

What are you trying to prove by being promiscuous?

 

Lost it at 16 btw