Left in a Lurch Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Maybe it's just me, but something doesn't seem quite right about a dude that keeps a diary. Link to post Share on other sites
streetlamp Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 You both snooped and broke trust. She came clean. Will you? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 You both snooped and broke trust. She came clean. Will you? Hummmm.. interesting point StreetLamp... Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 A closer look showed that while those outstanding balances are real, she is just an "authorized user" for those cards... That's bizarre. None of the cards for which I am merely an authorized user show up on MY credit report. When you're added as simply an authorized user, the creditor doesn't even get your SSN. She must be a co-signer at the very least. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 What if she once let someone else be an authorized user on her card and they dragged her into debt? I'm just saying that there could be other reasons then she put herself into debt. I also agree with the point that she came clean, and so is OP going to do the same? Link to post Share on other sites
ShamWoW Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Look on the bright side, at least you'll now have something to look forward to (a mutual goal) once you get married - paying off her bills. And then when you get divorced you can pay some more. Link to post Share on other sites
streetlamp Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Authorized user: A person who is sharing a credit card and has the right to use it, but does not have responsibility for payment. Read the whole post. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Authorized user: A person who is sharing a credit card and has the right to use it, but does not have responsibility for payment. Read the whole post. Not sure if this was directed at my post, but if someone else was authorized on her account, then she would be responsible for the payment, but isn't the one who went on a spending spree. I think it makes the situation a bit different. Link to post Share on other sites
mem11363 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 all the noise about how you "should not have snooped" you did and now you have some very legitimate questions. So lets start with this - what is her credit score? And by the way you two should have zero reason for concealing financial situations because you are clearly starting to get serious. People only conceal when they are trying to hide bad behavior. She is not only guilty of bad behavior - she is not trying to fix it. Just hide it. If she had come clean and said "I screwed up and did .... this is my plan to pay it off" that would be totally different. I bet she is hoping to get you emotionally to the point of no return and THEN tell you. When I was dating in my mid twenties I eliminated LOTS of women based on their irrational sense of financial entitlement. It scared the heck out of me. Most of them wanted to get married and have someone simply figure out how to earn enough so they could live the way they wanted to. Look, I know it wasn't right to open up that stuff, but I finally let a desire to snoop get the better of me. Part of it is that I feel justified in doing so - a few months ago, she admitted searching through our apartment to find my diary and reading it. I had put it all the way in the back of a closet underneath loads of crap, and she essentially admitted spending hours searching for it. I was pissed off to no end, so when I got on her computer today (she knew I was using it) and saw that stuff right out there on the desktop, I chose to look. Also, we have some shared finances and we talk about finances fairly openly, which is why this is surprising. Link to post Share on other sites
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