Butterflying Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 (edited) I've met a really great guy this year (off to a great dating start). He is 45 years old, single, never married, no kids. He's nice. He calls me every day. We've been on two dates in the last five days. He just moved to my city from across the country. So I've taken the role of showing him around, introducing him to people, ect, ect. We basically met on Facebook. But we work for the same company. We had been comunicating online until we met in person five days ago. Anyways, we meet, I think he's cute. Now that I've gotten to know more about him, the way he thinks, his values, his common interest, it's all opposite of mine. In fact, the only thing we have in common is the company we work for. Most of our conversations are debates. At dinner, he eats very fast. By the time I've taken my third or forth bite, he's already finished. So it's awkward when I'm eating and he's just watching me eat. He's not much for conversation either. I have to come up with all the topics which we end up debating because our opinions on the subject differ. This really is a really nice man. But I'm not attracted to him anymore like I was when we first met. We've had so many debates on some issues that are very important to me like family values and money. Our differences on issues like this make me uncomfortable to be around him. So of course I could never imagine having an exclusive relationship with him. It's just that I've waited so many years to have a man who wants to spend time together doing fun things, who is available, who calls me often, and doesn't have a string of women lingering around him. Now I've found him. And I don't want him. What's wrong??? Edited January 8, 2010 by Butterflying
CarrieT Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Now I've found him. And I don't want him. What's wrong??? You have answered your own question; you have nothing in common and are diametrically opposed on almost every other front. Your problem is that you want him to be something other than what he is just because he has all these other qualities that you DO want. And the fact that he isn't everything and a bag of chips does not make him a bad person, just not the person for you. Time to move on!
doushenka Posted January 8, 2010 Posted January 8, 2010 Anyways, we meet, I think he's cute. Now that I've gotten to know more about him, the way he thinks, his values, his common interest, it's all opposite of mine. In fact, the only thing we have in common is the company we work for. Most of our conversations are debates. At dinner, he eats very fast. By the time I've taken my third or forth bite, he's already finished. So it's awkward when I'm eating and he's just watching me eat. He's not much for conversation either. I have to come up with all the topics which we end up debating because our opinions on the subject differ. Well, there's your problem. If your values and needs don't mesh, it won't work, and it's hard to stay attracted to someone who doesn't click with you on those levels. You found one. It's the first prize in the scavenger hunt, right? So keep on hunting!
Author Butterflying Posted January 10, 2010 Author Posted January 10, 2010 I went out with this guy again tonight just to see if I was jumping to conclusions. He took me to a sushi place that had gotten rave reviews online. I knew this place wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Remember, I live here and he's new to the city, less than a week. So we get there and he orders everything. He asked me what I wanted. But when I ordered, he suggested something else for me and he ordered that instead. When it came to desert, I had enough of him. I really didn't want desert but he insisted we get something. He picked a fried banana dish. I picked a slice of cheesecake. Then he told me that I should try something new and share the banana dish with him. After convincing me to get desert he ignored my request and ordered his own thing after all. I am soooo done with this guy!!!! When the dish came out, I didn't touch it. He ate the whole thing by himself. The sad part is that he didn't really seem to realize how inconsiderate he was the entire time.
tami-chan Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 I guess, he is not that wonderful after all, huh? so now, you can rest easy in telling him it's not going to work.
Pizzaman81 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Ya you just realized what has happened, and you may not ever be happy with him. Things like this happens all the time.
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