Nikki Sahagin Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I will try to sort myself out and don't let your demons keep you from finding a good man. Life can still be very exciting without drama. During our good times some of the best fun I have with my wife is riding our Jet ski together. We have a ball and there is no drama or ugliness involved. Drama is just a temporary high and does not bring lasting happiness. Thanks Woggle Wish you all the best truthfully & i'm sure we will speak on here again. Keep me updated.
Mary3 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 My mother did much worse than abandon me. If she abandoned me to be raised by crackheads I probably would have been better off. I admit I am just waiting for my wife to betray me because no woman is this good to a man just because she loves him. I am sorry but women do not love men in this manner. There is always an ulterior motive but i can't figure out her motivation for being in this marriage. So....she wants your money ?
Mary3 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I will try to sort myself out and don't let your demons keep you from finding a good man. Life can still be very exciting without drama. During our good times some of the best fun I have with my wife is riding our Jet ski together. We have a ball and there is no drama or ugliness involved. Drama is just a temporary high and does not bring lasting happiness. Drama cannot be equated with love...Drama is not a * temporary high * but a malfunction, a needless , wasted emotion..
Mary3 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I have talked to her about my past but she doesn't know quite how deep my trust issues with women go. She knows that it took me a while to trust another woman. Not all men will hurt you. I have some friends who are great to their women even if these women don't in any way deserve it. Despite my chest thumping I have tried to be a player and I just can't treat people that way. You should have been totally honest and upfront about your hatred of women. Then she could have been better informed and made a choice not to marry someone like you.
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 You should have been totally honest and upfront about your hatred of women. Then she could have been better informed and made a choice not to marry someone like you. Thats unfair Mary. We all have baggage. I think Woggle tries to protect his wife from it and as far as I know he does not take his feelings out on her (I may be wrong). Also I think you need to understand Woggle's backstory. It takes time to undo the hurt thats been done.
Author Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 There have been a couple times where I did let my anger boil over with her and I feel horrible about it.
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 There have been a couple times where I did let my anger boil over with her and I feel horrible about it. What happened? And did she know the cause?
Author Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 What happened? And did she know the cause? I broke off my engagement the week before our wedding and she actually took me back. I told her I was just nervous and she knows how horrible I feel about it.
Mary3 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Thats unfair Mary. We all have baggage. I think Woggle tries to protect his wife from it and as far as I know he does not take his feelings out on her (I may be wrong). Also I think you need to understand Woggle's backstory. It takes time to undo the hurt thats been done. I think a vast majority of us here have tried to help him with this for well over 4 years. I wonder how much of what we have said has sunk in. He truly is on a deserted island with these feelings because they are mostly in his own mind and not based on reality.
Sharla Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Thats unfair Mary. We all have baggage. I think Woggle tries to protect his wife from it and as far as I know he does not take his feelings out on her (I may be wrong). Also I think you need to understand Woggle's backstory. It takes time to undo the hurt thats been done. Sorry to chime in, but this doesn't give the OP the right to group every woman (or man for that matter) in the same category. And it especially does not give him (or anyone else for that matter) the right to assume that a "class" (in this case, gender), is good or bad. Yes, we all of get frustrated with each other from time to time, but when it is to this extent, it is extremely deep seated and the person who usually pays the price, is the other individual. In which case, your wife. If you love your wife as much as you claim to, the best gift you could EVER give her, is you finding peace with YOURSELF. Then, the rest will follow...
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I broke off my engagement the week before our wedding and she actually took me back. I told her I was just nervous and she knows how horrible I feel about it. Doesn't this show how much she loves you? I behaved appallingly with my ex; I physically hit him once. When I say I pushed him away, I literally pushed, I was violent. I'm not proud of that but thats how mental/hateful I was. But you can change this. Help her understand:)
Mary3 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I broke off my engagement the week before our wedding and she actually took me back. I told her I was just nervous and she knows how horrible I feel about it. Have you sought counseling with this issue ? Its a shame because you are both an attractive couple and you could have a great future if you could just squelch those demons inside you.
Nikki Sahagin Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Sorry to chime in, but this doesn't give the OP the right to group every woman (or man for that matter) in the same category. And it especially does not give him (or anyone else for that matter) the right to assume that a "class" (in this case, gender), is good or bad. Yes, we all of get frustrated with each other from time to time, but when it is to this extent, it is extremely deep seated and the person who usually pays the price, is the other individual. In which case, your wife. If you love your wife as much as you claim to, the best gift you could EVER give her, is you finding peace with YOURSELF. Then, the rest will follow... I do agree with you Sharla. But I also can semi-relate to Woggle because I have done the same with men. I think some people find Woggle controversial and react with hostility to him but sometimes people just need a little understanding. Of course this doesn't always work but I think the more hostility he is given by certain posters (not yourself or Mary), the more he feels justified and isolated in his feelings.
Mary3 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 Sorry to chime in, but this doesn't give the OP the right to group every woman (or man for that matter) in the same category. And it especially does not give him (or anyone else for that matter) the right to assume that a "class" (in this case, gender), is good or bad. Yes, we all of get frustrated with each other from time to time, but when it is to this extent, it is extremely deep seated and the person who usually pays the price, is the other individual. In which case, your wife. If you love your wife as much as you claim to, the best gift you could EVER give her, is you finding peace with YOURSELF. Then, the rest will follow... So very true...........
Author Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 Have you sought counseling with this issue ? Its a shame because you are both an attractive couple and you could have a great future if you could just squelch those demons inside you. I have sought counseling and I just do not do well with paid therapists. I know I need to sort out my demons but like I said before when I see other men going through crap I apply it to my own marriage which I know is not good.
Sharla Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I do agree with you Sharla. But I also can semi-relate to Woggle because I have done the same with men. I think some people find Woggle controversial and react with hostility to him but sometimes people just need a little understanding. Of course this doesn't always work but I think the more hostility he is given by certain posters (not yourself or Mary), the more he feels justified and isolated in his feelings. Nikki, he is preaching the exact same thing on here that he is opposed to. Doormat behavior. Think about it.
Mary3 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I do agree with you Sharla. But I also can semi-relate to Woggle because I have done the same with men. I think some people find Woggle controversial and react with hostility to him but sometimes people just need a little understanding. Of course this doesn't always work but I think the more hostility he is given by certain posters (not yourself or Mary), the more he feels justified and isolated in his feelings. I have absolutely no hostility for Woggle. How productive though is it to post questions about hatred for men/women ? He can better use this time to get some help. He is isolated in his feelings because they are his own. I can bet he would love to wake up and not feel this way.
Mary3 Posted January 19, 2010 Posted January 19, 2010 I have sought counseling and I just do not do well with paid therapists. I know I need to sort out my demons but like I said before when I see other men going through crap I apply it to my own marriage which I know is not good. I totally relate to the therapist dilema. I also feel that you pay for an hour and often times they nod their heads.... Then they say " See you next week " When in actuality you self solve most of your problems in therapy. But I was thinking more of cognative therapy where they probe deeply into your psyche....
Author Woggle Posted January 19, 2010 Author Posted January 19, 2010 I also know therapists who laugh at their patients when they are out to dinner with their friends. They actually have one of the highest suicide and addiction rates of any profession.
Rhythmic Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=218299 That thread right there just made woggles viewpoint seem credible. A man who just seems a bit disappointed in getting a kiss rejected is flamed and called a whiner for it. Nothing in there seems to be blaming all women for his failures or anything of the sort. Yet they all still jump on him. The fact that no other women in this forum seems to want to call out that sort of behavior is also telling.
meerkat stew Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 The fact that no other women in this forum seems to want to call out that sort of behavior is also telling. Actually there's some good girl on girl action in the "I paid more for a first date" thread. Check it out, it's a whopper, hard to miss. But for the most part I agree with you.
Author Woggle Posted January 22, 2010 Author Posted January 22, 2010 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=218299 That thread right there just made woggles viewpoint seem credible. A man who just seems a bit disappointed in getting a kiss rejected is flamed and called a whiner for it. Nothing in there seems to be blaming all women for his failures or anything of the sort. Yet they all still jump on him. The fact that no other women in this forum seems to want to call out that sort of behavior is also telling. Yup. It's these subtleties that men need to watch out for or else they creep up on you when you least expect it.
Rhythmic Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 I just wanted to post this post here from that thread. This is so damn sad and frustrating to hear. I don't understand what would you have me do? I try to act different fail and you don't like that. I act like myself not good enough either. I took this girl out and I was my normal honest sweet self. I was the person I'm going to be forever. Now your telling me I'm flawed then what do I do???? I tryed acting like a more confident an experenced person and that failed like I just said. What am I supposed to do???? I can't be myself and I can't act like sonething I'm not. You offer no solution. If I realize my flaws or not I'm never going to act different. I am me! You make it sound like I'm a complete pos and that every girl will seem me as superficial when being myself. You also make it sound like I should give up and be asexual. Is there really women on this forum that can look at that and decide to do nothing but bash him call him a whiner and make sarcastic post full of disdain out of that? Please post and say you can so I can set you on ignore like I did the other heartless and cold woman on that thread who was bashing him. I'd prefer to be able to read the forum without your input.
meerkat stew Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 Please post and say you can so I can set you on ignore like I did the other heartless and cold woman on that thread who was bashing him. I'd prefer to be able to read the forum without your input. In fairness to that poster, the guy has apparently taken some obnoxious positions in his past threads, and I think that's what set her off.
Rhythmic Posted January 22, 2010 Posted January 22, 2010 In fairness to that poster, the guy has apparently taken some obnoxious positions in his past threads, and I think that's what set her off. Fairness? That doesn't sound that fair to me. So the issue was nothing more than blowing off steam because he posted something she disagreed with in past threads? Cute.
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