christian6 Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 (edited) This girl and I have known each other for 6 months. We had started getting really close and flirted a lot. We had also started spending a lot of time together. Two weeks ago we almost kissed while we were alone at her place but just stopped when her housemate came back( she shares with 2 other girls). But since last week she seems to have no interest in me and her behaviour has completely changed. She is even cold sometimes. I don't know what happened. Every time I ask, she says there is nothing. She specifically said we are still friends. Why this when we were getting to more than friends? What am I supposed to do? Edited December 25, 2009 by christian6
boogieboy Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 You do nothing. Pull away futher than she is. She obviously isnt that into you, she might have friend zoned you. Make yourself more unavailable. Dont answer all of her calls/texts, obviously she isnt as into you as you thought. Leave her be. Something ruined it, let her miss you to get it back.
Author christian6 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 But why suddenly? She was very obviously into me till last week.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 But why suddenly? She was very obviously into me till last week. My opinion? She found something more shiny that caught her interest (aka - new and improved guy).
Author christian6 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 She is single and not into anyone else much. I am certain about that for a variety of reasons, but you can be sure of that. Another thing is, she's almost angry sometimes, and I don't know what I did wrong!
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Well, you expect us to divine the answer when you give limited details. "I just know she isn't involved with anyone else" doesn't really help. But info about HOW you are so sure would've been helpful in the OP. How about you give more details? Surely, something happened, but we can't pluck the answer out of thin air. You'd have to explain some of the interactions that have happened between you two since the failed kiss and her acting cold, suddenly.
Author christian6 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 I know because one of her housemates is my best mate's gf, and she told me that this girl has not even been on a date in the last few months, and apparently told her two weeks ago that she really liked me.(had this convo with my mate's gf yesterday, when the one I'm interested in walked out as soon as I came down to their place.) Most of the conversations over the past week have been about pretty pointless stuff, like college(we're at the same college doing the same course) and some friends. I asked her out for coffee and the way she refused was really odd and cold. She has never behaved that way before.
boogieboy Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 She doesnt have to go out on dates to have her eye on someone, or to be talking to someone in classes and such. Maybe she hasnt gone out on any dates yet, maybe she didnt tell her roommate. She can sneak around without anyone knowing. If you only started talking to her in the last 2 weeks, then you could have easily turned her off with something you said.
Author christian6 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 we'd been talking for the past 6 months. she's been annoyed for 1 week. the change in her behaviour was also sudden. one day she was flirting and really warm, the next day she was cold and angry. is there anyway I could get her to talk about it ?
skydiveaddict Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 we'd been talking for the past 6 months. she's been annoyed for 1 week. the change in her behaviour was also sudden. one day she was flirting and really warm, the next day she was cold and angry. is there anyway I could get her to talk about it ? dont waste your time you've been "friend zoned" blow her off completely i wouldn't be talking to her at all
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Infatuation dies as quickly as it comes on. It usually takes about six months to eighteen months for it to die, and when it does, it DOES. It is like a light going out. When that light goes out, any love they have for you starts draining away and they start looking for a new source of love to replace what is draining out. Why do they look for a new source? It is like filling up your gas tank before it runs completely dry. Once they find a new source, or even if they don't and the tank runs dry you are done for. They can appear to be 'into you' right up to the minute that light goes out. It is not unusual for that to happen in that way. Some people just try to hold on to things longer than others do.
threebyfate Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 If you were interested, why did it take you six months to ask her out for coffee? Infatuation needs feeding. When it's fed, it can turn into love. If it's not fed, it will die.
LostInLA Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Well if you are truly friends why not ask her what happened? Maybe say, hey it seemed like things were going somewhere but now I feel that I did something that made you mad? Since we are friends I want to make sure there's no hurt feelings. Or something like that.
Author christian6 Posted December 26, 2009 Author Posted December 26, 2009 If you were interested, why did it take you six months to ask her out for coffee? Infatuation needs feeding. When it's fed, it can turn into love. If it's not fed, it will die. we've gone out as 'friends' a lot of time, I have been interested in her for a couple of months, and things started developing naturally. and then, like I said, she's annoyed suddenly and says everything is fine between us and won't tell me.
Author christian6 Posted December 26, 2009 Author Posted December 26, 2009 even if that were the case, what's with the anger?
dnm Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 you obviously did or said something which pissed her off.
sagetalk Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Maybe she wanted you to be like the guy she wants, but you aren't so she's made at you. Just a guess.
phineas Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Oh yeah, if she wants you to make a move & you don't they can get pissed at you. Let her miss you seems to be the best advice.
Vasto_Lorde Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 This girl and I have known each other for 6 months. We had started getting really close and flirted a lot. We had also started spending a lot of time together. Two weeks ago we almost kissed while we were alone at her place but just stopped when her housemate came back( she shares with 2 other girls). But since last week she seems to have no interest in me and her behaviour has completely changed. She is even cold sometimes. I don't know what happened. Every time I ask, she says there is nothing. She specifically said we are still friends. Why this when we were getting to more than friends? What am I supposed to do? When you have to start trying to create a rationale for the behavior of someone else, you're already going down the wrong path mate. If she won't tell you what's wrong then leave her alone to stew. If I were you mate, I'd just give her less of your time. Easier said than done especially when you really like her but you've got to protect yourself.
MyNameIsJonas Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 we've gone out as 'friends' a lot of time, I have been interested in her for a couple of months, and things started developing naturally. and then, like I said, she's annoyed suddenly and says everything is fine between us and won't tell me. She might be conflicted with feelings. If you two have known each other for a bit of time, she may be torn between taking it to the next level and risking the friendship, or backing it off to save what you two had beforehand. Some women are able to cope with that type of conflict better than others. I would give her a bit of time to think then approach her in a week or two. If you try to smother and "help" her figure things out, it's only going agitate her, which will cause both the interest and the friendship to die. In the meantime, increase your options. Get phone numbers, go out on some dates with other women. Dating other women may give you perspective on what you want, and it very well may not be her.
make me believe Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 even if that were the case, what's with the anger? She is the only one who can answer that for you and she refuses to, so why dwell on it? Let it go! It sucks that she showed interest and is now acting cold towards you, but it happens. You don't always get an answer or explanation. It is what it is... Stop wasting your time on this girl and find somebody new!
sugar_and_spice Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 well, there must be some reason behind her anger. ask her friends.
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