confusedinkansas Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 My 2 cents....... I think both genders cheat equally. I think that with todays world the way it is - More women in the workplace, more men & women traveling for work - the Internet (AKA: the Devil)...I just think it's MUCH easier now than it was for generations past. I do not think that EVERYONE cheats - But I do believe that everyone has the opportunity (such as the woman in the hotel offering her room key to a married traveling salesman - to give one scenario) Not everyone takes the opportunity & runs with it. Those of us that DID take the "Opportunity" - doesn't make us bad people. Just means we go on the YES side of the calculations & percentages that DID (or do).
wheream_i Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 In a word? Yes. I think every man either has cheated, is cheating, will cheat or will continue to be a cheater. I take that back, I have talked to some men that have changed their ways so as to save their marriage but they also give up their manhood (balls) in the process. As far as women go, although the percentage of those who cheat is lower than that of men, I think more women cheat than actually let on. Mostly because I don't think the equivalent of "The Man Code" exists for women. Women are more prone to rat their own friend out to the husband that may be a good guy. Whereas, a guy would not rat another guy out because hey, guys just don't do that - The Man Code. Unless of course, the man that's cheating is his brother-in-law. But I do think women have just as much ability to do so as men. But they have more self control than men. Meaning, they don't have a penis. Have I rambled enough? I think so too.
threebyfate Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 No, not everyone cheats. People who have cheated or are/were OW/OM, want to believe so, but it's not true for the majority of individuals, based on statistics.
2sure Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I dont steal and I dont cheat. Period. Both show a marked absence of self discipline and integrity. Life is not black and white and sometimes it can be difficult to have clear rules. But those two are pretty easy and make living with myself, despite my faults, tolerable. If for nothing else..life hands me enough problems to figure out and deal with, I'm not going to volunteer to invite guilt.
wheream_i Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Excellent point and very good post. I wish I had that same discipline. I dont steal and I dont cheat. Period. Both show a marked absence of self discipline and integrity. Life is not black and white and sometimes it can be difficult to have clear rules. But those two are pretty easy and make living with myself, despite my faults, tolerable. If for nothing else..life hands me enough problems to figure out and deal with, I'm not going to volunteer to invite guilt.
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I smile when I hear men saying that they will never ever cheat.. ... again......... like they've learned their lesson.. but, in reality, they're still in the stats of the cheaters.. (which is IMO.. closer to 99.9%)..
wheream_i Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Stop it Lizzie. Stop being right all the time! I have to agree with you. I've ruined more than one serious relationship due to my infidelities. Sounds crazy but I can identify with Tiger Woods. It has nothing to do with having a gorgeous woman at home, even if she is taking good care of you. I smile when I hear men saying that they will never ever cheat.. ... again......... like they've learned their lesson.. but, in reality, they're still in the stats of the cheaters.. (which is IMO.. closer to 99.9%)..
silic0ntoad Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 @ Lizzie - I have never, ever cheated on any partner. I am very, very picky when it comes to comitment. I don't comit unless I know I have in that person enough to the point I'll be satisfied and not cheat. Call it maturity, call it shallowness, but it's how I roll. I am a man, and I have never cheated. I've been cheated on, however. My ex of four years, though she'll never admit it, left me for someone else, and my ex of five years slept with no less then 8 guys behind my back. I may be faithful, but I was blind to it. I'll never be burned by a cheating douchebag ever again. That level of douchebaggery will not be achieved in MY chocolate factory.
1Angel Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I don't believe everyone cheats. I see couples who are best friends as well as romantic partners see in their eyes how in love they are. Sometimes I'm jealous of them.
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 @ Lizzie - I have never, ever cheated on any partner. I am very, very picky when it comes to comitment. I don't comit unless I know I have in that person enough to the point I'll be satisfied and not cheat. Call it maturity, call it shallowness, but it's how I roll. I am a man, and I have never cheated. I've been cheated on, however. My ex of four years, though she'll never admit it, left me for someone else, and my ex of five years slept with no less then 8 guys behind my back. I may be faithful, but I was blind to it. I'll never be burned by a cheating douchebag ever again. That level of douchebaggery will not be achieved in MY chocolate factory. Never say never.. May I ask you how old you are?
donnamaybe Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I feel that people who have no ability to keep promises made to their partners would like to believe everyone cheats. Makes 'em feel better about their lack of integrity.
HappyAtLast Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 In a word? Yes. I think every man either has cheated, is cheating, will cheat or will continue to be a cheater. I take that back, I have talked to some men that have changed their ways so as to save their marriage but they also give up their manhood (balls) in the process. Lord, that the above is certainly a generalization. I cheated on my first wife, many many years ago. Never have nor would on my current wife. As for my manhood last time I checked it was still there. I dare say that I believe it is the opposite. One gives up their manhood by cheating rather than by doing the right thing and remaining a man.
Simon Attwood Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I smile when I hear men saying that they will never ever cheat.. ... again......... like they've learned their lesson.. but, in reality, they're still in the stats of the cheaters.. (which is IMO.. closer to 99.9%).. Of course, Lizzie, you wouldn't have any prejudices on the subject, would you I like your stats, they're even more made up than mine My personal experience suggests that women cheat far more than men, but I can't go by my personal experience alone My mother cheated on my father My sister cheated on her husband I was living with a woman that cheated on me And my wife, before we were married, broke off our relationship and went back to her ex for 3 months, before realising that she had run away and gone back to a dysfunctional relationship because she was scared (although i had known it all along). I'm not aware of any males in my family that have cheated. Although I am sure my father was tempted. I would say that males and females often have different motives for cheating. A female will cheat, often as an excuse to run away from an existing relationship. She will use the cheating as a tool of destruction. To cause hurt and pain intentionally in order to destroy a relationship A male will cheat because the female he is with is playing the "sexual value game" and witholding intimacy in order to raise her sexual value. The male may just think "well I can get it somewhere else", especially if he has already been offered the opportunity by another female cheat
donnamaybe Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I dare say that I believe it is the opposite. One gives up their manhood by cheating rather than by doing the right thing and remaining a man. I 100% agree with this HAL!!!
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Of course, Lizzie, you wouldn't have any prejudices on the subject, would you I like your stats, they're even more made up than mine My personal experience suggests that women cheat far more than men, but I can't go by my personal experience alone My mother cheated on my father My sister cheated on her husband I was living with a woman that cheated on me And my wife, before we were married, broke off our relationship and went back to her ex for 3 months, before realising that she had run away and gone back to a dysfunctional relationship because she was scared (although i had known it all along). I'm not aware of any males in my family that have cheated. Although I am sure my father was tempted. I would say that males and females often have different motives for cheating. A female will cheat, often as an excuse to run away from an existing relationship. She will use the cheating as a tool of destruction. To cause hurt and pain intentionally in order to destroy a relationship A male will cheat because the female he is with is playing the "sexual value game" and witholding intimacy in order to raise her sexual value. The male may just think "well I can get it somewhere else", especially if he has already been offered the opportunity by another female cheat In your case, you've been surrounded by female cheaters.. but in reality, a lot more men cheat... a lot more men use porn.. a lot more men go with prostitutes.. a lot more men go to strip clubs.. you get the idea.. You can only be 100% sure about YOU.. you have noooo idea about others.. (ex. father, brother-in-law)... NOOOOO idea...
Simon Attwood Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 In your case, you've been surrounded by female cheaters.. but in my reality, a lot more men cheat... a lot more men use porn.. a lot more men go with prostitutes.. a lot more men go to strip clubs.. you get the idea.. You can only be 100% sure about YOU.. you have noooo idea about others.. (ex. father, brother-in-law)... NOOOOO idea... Hi, I've corrected your post
Mr Locario Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 If you have an option to cheat you most likely will. The more options you have the harder it is to stay faithful.
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Hi, I've corrected your post No need to correct it.. It was correct... just check the stats.. I have read that it's getting closer ... but still... a lot more men cheat... sorry...:p:p:p:p
Simon Attwood Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 No need to correct it.. It was correct... just check the stats.. I have read that it's getting closer ... but still... a lot more men cheat... sorry...:p:p:p:p http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0140136290/ref=ord_cart_shr?_encoding=UTF8&m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 Hi, I've corrected your post I also can say that in YOUR reality more women than men cheat... it's not representative of society... I go by the stats out there.. MOST stats say that more men cheat.. I didn't make that up.. sorry.... :p
Impudent Oyster Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 If you have an option to cheat you most likely will. The more options you have the harder it is to stay faithful. Not true. Everyone has the option to cheat, and I mean EVERYONE. Some people just have too much integrity to exercise those options. If you have a lot of self-confidence and don't need validation then staying faithful is a breeze, even if you've got plenty of opportunity.
Simon Attwood Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 I also can say that in YOUR reality more women than men cheat... it's not representative of society... I go by the stats out there.. MOST stats say that more men cheat.. I didn't make that up.. sorry.... :p please show me your stats PS that is not a euphemism !!!
wheream_i Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 The last sentence down there I do agree with you 100% and what I said about manhood was not that cheating and bedding as many women behind your S/O's back makes you a man. At one time, I thought and I was so wrong. But regarding what you said that I made a sweeping generalization? I said pretty much every man has cheated, will cheat, is cheating or will continue to cheat. I do believe you fall into one of those don't you? Lord, that the above is certainly a generalization. I cheated on my first wife, many many years ago. Never have nor would on my current wife. As for my manhood last time I checked it was still there. I dare say that I believe it is the opposite. One gives up their manhood by cheating rather than by doing the right thing and remaining a man.
threebyfate Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 If you have an option to cheat you most likely will. The more options you have the harder it is to stay faithful.Nope, not at all true. It's reliant on how you perceive cheating and also, whether you have the willpower to enforce personal boundaries of ethical behaviour, within a relationship.
Lizzie60 Posted December 21, 2009 Posted December 21, 2009 please show me your stats PS that is not a euphemism !!! Just google Infidelity stats.. you'll find plenty.. I don't have time to do research right now.. but I have never ever seen stats about female cheaters being higher than male...
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