Woggle Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Since when do you care what other people think about you? I don't but I value my money and I do not pay people to gossip about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 As for the thread I think any woman if pumped up right will have an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I don't but I value my money and I do not pay people to gossip about me. They are suppose to keep that stuff discreet anyways, so I'm sure you're fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Why do you think I won't see a therapist? I don't want a doctor telling their friends about the nut with woman issues they had as a patient. You are aware that they would lose their job if they did that right? You actually think you are that important and interesting for them to risk that? Wow. Ego much. Link to post Share on other sites
Samantha0905 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 My parents did not cheat on one another. Hell, with as many children as they had I don't think they had time or the inclination to cheat. I'm almost 100% certain my husband has never cheated. I've always thought him a bit uptight, but he has certain things he never does -- like being put in situations where it's just him and another woman at work. He says if he has to do lunch with a female professional, he always takes along another man. He considers it preventative. Maybe it works. My best friend is his receptionist and she says he has never flirted back when she's seen clients, etc. openly flirt with him. Period. She's pretty world savvy and says he just isn't the cheating kind. It's the general assessment of most people who know him. I suppose it's possible though, but I doubt it. My sister has never cheated on her husband. She would tell me. They've been married 25 years. Odd thing about that is they are one of the few success stories from a broken marriage. She was his secretary. He was married. His wife told him she was unhappy and asked him to move out. He obliged and started dating my sister. There may have been flirtatious stuff going on before the wife asked him to leave. Then, he went back to his wife for about six months. Then they divorced. He and my sister started dating again. He got antsy for a while and moved to Canada with his job because he wasn't ready to immediately remarry. That lasted three months, then he showed back up and asked her to marry him. Voila. Oh, and I know my husband's parents have not cheated on one another without a doubt. Most people my age I know are on their 2nd or 3rd marriages. And I know several people who have had affairs. I just googled and according to the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, approximately 50 percent married women and 60 percent of married men will have an extramarital affair at some time in their marriage. I'm sure the true numbers may even be a bit higher than those who actually admit cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 As for the thread I think any woman if pumped up right will have an affair. You are wrong woggle. Some of us have been on the short end of the stick and watched our kids go through hell. I would never want another woman or her children to experience what our family has been through. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 You are wrong woggle. Some of us have been on the short end of the stick and watched our kids go through hell. I would never want another woman or her children to experience what our family has been through. What I mean was that any woman is pumped up right will cheat on her husband. Women pretty much have zero loyalty to the men in their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 What I mean was that any woman is pumped up right will cheat on her husband. Women pretty much have zero loyalty to the men in their lives. So do yourself and us a favor and divorce your wife. She will cheat on you eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 What I mean was that any woman is pumped up right will cheat on her husband. Women pretty much have zero loyalty to the men in their lives. I am 45 years old. I was married for more than 20 years. Not one time, no matter how bad he treated me, in front of friends, family, or our children....did it ever occur to me to cheat on him. I wasn't emotionally or sexually satisfied. You may be right that my loyalty to him was not as strong as my loyalty and love for God. My commitment to my vows and the promises that I made were made in front of God and I didn't/don't want to answer for something that I COULD control....my actions. I know your feelings about women and it is deeply ingrained and there is nothing I could say to change your mind....but I do know my commitment to God outweighs feelings that come and go with the good and bad times. Be blessed Woggle. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 When one lives around a bunch of cheaters, its easy to believe that everyone does it. I've already told my family history enough times, so I won't rehash it again. But even given that history, I do not believe that everyone cheats. I haven't cheated, so that automatically cancels out the "everyone" thing. A huge majority of the people that I know and live around have cheated (even my neighbors), but not all of them. Thinking of the site that this question came from, I imagine a bunch of thieves sitting around rationalizing that everyone steals too....so they might as well steal first, since it could be ANYONE. LOL. That's pretty much where its going. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 When one lives around a bunch of cheaters, its easy to believe that everyone does it. Exactly, or when someone says that they sleep with just married people then of course they are going to say that most or all people cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
OWW Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I will put this out there- Many people "overlap" relationships; i.e., they become attracted to someone by spending time with them (usually on the sly), and things start to get a little serious, and they want to pursue the possibility of a relationship with them, therefore they start detatching from their spouse or SO, saying they "need their space", usually the spouse is in the dark, thinking they've grown apart. While technically not cheating, it is dishonest behavior. Alot of people do this serially throughout their life, easing out of one relationship and into another. I think this description does describe some affairs. I think it happened with my father and his now-wife of 20+ years. I think my father had feelings for her, but didn't act on them sexually until after he had separated from my mother. But I am very sure that they developed before he left. It may be that this is what I have found myself involved in - someone who finds the next person first. Who knows? But I think a lot of people get hurt - and maybe I will too - hoping that it IS this situation instead of the one they are in. Certainly I'd like to think, for the benefit of my MW, that it's not cheating, but I admit I have a harder time swallowing that because we have been more than friends at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 No, not everyone cheats. But monogamy is very, very hard. Some people say a person who cheats once or twice over the course of a 40 years relationship is someone who is very GOOD at monogamy. Other people claim we should look at monogamy less like virginity and more like sobriety. Once you lose your virginity, it's gone for good. But if you lose your sobriety, you can pull yourself together and sober up. Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I've heard the stats too, but I always wonder why it is not 50/50. Are men cheating with single women who are seeing more than one married man? Why is it not 1:1? Anyone know? I perhaps have not read the details of the studies... Regarding the talk about doctors, I have been one for 20 years now, and I can tell you that we are just like the cross section of the general public. There are doctors of very high principle, and there are doctors who use their position and power to screw around. It tends to be the big money specialties-plastics, ortho, etc. Women are constantly throwing themselves at my male colleagues. The moment they hear the word "doctor" you can see their minds going.... It is sickening. Doctors are very, very sexual though. They are kind of like the fighter pilots of the educated world. It takes a lot of work, discipline to get and stay where we are, and then when they are off, they really blow off the steam. In medical school, there was a lot of keggers, and sleeping around. (I did not participate). However, bizarrely enough, it did not seem to affect their ability to be brilliant doctors. The talk is blowing off steam. Imagine having to see 40 people a day, (administrators treat us like factory line workers who need to make more widgets, constant pressure to see more, more more patients-very upsetting when you want to give quality care to people )some nice, but some real real jerks, and you have to give constantly. It wears on you, and sometimes we blow off steam about the frustrating ones. Doesn't mean we don't want to do what is right for our patients. I care very much about my patients and always give the care I would want someone to give my family. Link to post Share on other sites
OWW Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 No, not everyone cheats. But monogamy is very, very hard. Some people say a person who cheats once or twice over the course of a 40 years relationship is someone who is very GOOD at monogamy. Other people claim we should look at monogamy less like virginity and more like sobriety. Once you lose your virginity, it's gone for good. But if you lose your sobriety, you can pull yourself together and sober up. I do like this analogy! Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I believe nowadays most men who are powerful and/or attractive and moneyed, cheat-at least once. Regarding male doctors, I think they cheat not because they are doctors, but because (see first paragraph) - there is a pervasive feeling of entitlement, feeling of being above tradition/laws/customs/ etc.etc...I work with these doctors day in and day out....and I can honestly say, I have yet to meet a male doctor who has never cheated or rumored to have not cheated... the interesting thing is, very few wives ever leave these cheating doctor husbands--as a matter of fact, the ones who were divorced, got divorced because the doctor left them for the OW. More disturbing is that when there is a young resident doctor who declares eternal love and loyalty to his wife, others would say..."oh give it time-you will cheat". Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Regarding the talk about doctors, I have been one for 20 years now, and I can tell you that we are just like the cross section of the general public. There are doctors of very high principle, and there are doctors who use their position and power to screw around. It tends to be the big money specialties-plastics, ortho, etc. Women are constantly throwing themselves at my male colleagues. The moment they hear the word "doctor" you can see their minds going.... It is sickening. Doctors are very, very sexual though. They are kind of like the fighter pilots of the educated world. It takes a lot of work, discipline to get and stay where we are, and then when they are off, they really blow off the steam. In medical school, there was a lot of keggers, and sleeping around. (I did not participate). However, bizarrely enough, it did not seem to affect their ability to be brilliant doctors. The talk is blowing off steam. Imagine having to see 40 people a day, (administrators treat us like factory line workers who need to make more widgets, constant pressure to see more, more more patients-very upsetting when you want to give quality care to people )some nice, but some real real jerks, and you have to give constantly. It wears on you, and sometimes we blow off steam about the frustrating ones. Doesn't mean we don't want to do what is right for our patients. I care very much about my patients and always give the care I would want someone to give my family. Thank you for this. I totally agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Spoiled Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I've heard the stats too, but I always wonder why it is not 50/50. Are men cheating with single women who are seeing more than one married man? Why is it not 1:1? Anyone know? I perhaps have not read the details of the studies... Regarding the talk about doctors, I have been one for 20 years now, and I can tell you that we are just like the cross section of the general public. There are doctors of very high principle, and there are doctors who use their position and power to screw around. It tends to be the big money specialties-plastics, ortho, etc. Women are constantly throwing themselves at my male colleagues. The moment they hear the word "doctor" you can see their minds going.... It is sickening. Doctors are very, very sexual though. They are kind of like the fighter pilots of the educated world. It takes a lot of work, discipline to get and stay where we are, and then when they are off, they really blow off the steam. In medical school, there was a lot of keggers, and sleeping around. (I did not participate). However, bizarrely enough, it did not seem to affect their ability to be brilliant doctors. The talk is blowing off steam. Imagine having to see 40 people a day, (administrators treat us like factory line workers who need to make more widgets, constant pressure to see more, more more patients-very upsetting when you want to give quality care to people )some nice, but some real real jerks, and you have to give constantly. It wears on you, and sometimes we blow off steam about the frustrating ones. Doesn't mean we don't want to do what is right for our patients. I care very much about my patients and always give the care I would want someone to give my family. I am also in healthcare and totally understand what you're saying. You give and give and listen to complaints all day long. It becomes extremely emotionally draining and although it does not condone ill behavior but that can contribute to why many act like "jerks." Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 LD, I don't think everyone cheats. I do believe lots of people cheat. Personally I didn't, and likely wont (58 years, not in a relationship) When I was younger it was certainly something that could, maybe might have happened. It just didn't. I have been cheated on. I think I would leave a relationship before I had an affair. In fact, at the age I am now, with the maturity I have I'm sure I would. It's all about maturity and with maturity character seems to be present... Link to post Share on other sites
mem11363 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Woggle, There are lots of good, honest trustworthy women out there. I have seen my wife tempted a few times - meaning she was attracted to someone else. But she always walked away. Don't you ever get tired from carrying around all your anger and paranoia? It sure must weigh a lot. What I mean was that any woman is pumped up right will cheat on her husband. Women pretty much have zero loyalty to the men in their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I am 45 years old. I was married for more than 20 years. Not one time, no matter how bad he treated me, in front of friends, family, or our children....did it ever occur to me to cheat on him. I wasn't emotionally or sexually satisfied. You may be right that my loyalty to him was not as strong as my loyalty and love for God. My commitment to my vows and the promises that I made were made in front of God and I didn't/don't want to answer for something that I COULD control....my actions. I know your feelings about women and it is deeply ingrained and there is nothing I could say to change your mind....but I do know my commitment to God outweighs feelings that come and go with the good and bad times. Be blessed Woggle. Cool......... Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 When one lives around a bunch of cheaters, its easy to believe that everyone does it. I've already told my family history enough times, so I won't rehash it again. But even given that history, I do not believe that everyone cheats. I haven't cheated, so that automatically cancels out the "everyone" thing. A huge majority of the people that I know and live around have cheated (even my neighbors), but not all of them. Thinking of the site that this question came from, I imagine a bunch of thieves sitting around rationalizing that everyone steals too....so they might as well steal first, since it could be ANYONE. LOL. That's pretty much where its going. Birds of a feather???? Cheating is for cowards Link to post Share on other sites
Mr-T Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Do You Think Everyone Cheats? Simply put, I never have and never will. If there are problems in a relationship then talking about it is better than getting your rocks off somewhere else! Link to post Share on other sites
her_halo_slipped Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 No. I don't think everyone cheats. Sometimes when everything is in perfect allignment there is no reason to cheat. However , sometimes when things are in perfect allignment and there is no reason to cheat, sometimes people do. It's so much an individual thing. It isn't always black and white as some here would have us believe. Sometimes there are shades of grey. Colours even. Sometimes two people just fall in love. Sure they can help their actions but love is a very powerful emotion. Let's remember one important thing....not everyone who cheats is necessarily a bad person. Good people cheat too. For those who want to stamp on me....save it. I'm not listening! Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Woggle, There are lots of good, honest trustworthy women out there. I have seen my wife tempted a few times - meaning she was attracted to someone else. But she always walked away. Don't you ever get tired from carrying around all your anger and paranoia? It sure must weigh a lot. Sure she walked away. That is what she tells you. Link to post Share on other sites
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